3 "They All Say What a Happy Place Manchukuo Is'
三 “人人都说好满洲”
——Life under the Japanese (1938-1945)
——在日本人统治下(1938—1945)
Early in 1938, my mother was nearly seven. She was very bright, and very keen to study. Her parents thought she should begin school as soon as the new school year started, immediately after Chinese New Year.
1938年初，我母亲快七岁了。她聪明好学，春节一过，新学年开始，父母亲就送她上了学。
Education was tightly controlled by the Japanese, especially the history and ethics courses. Japanese, not Chinese, was the official language in the schools. Above the fourth form in elementary school teaching was entirely in Japanese, and most of the teachers were Japanese.
当时的教育由日本人严密控制，尤其是历史和伦理课程。法定的“国语”是日文。小学四年级后，教学全采用日文。学校绝大多数教师都是日本人或是会讲日语的中国人。
On 11 September 1939, when my mother was in her second year in elementary school, the emperor of Manchukuo, Pu Yi, and his wife came to Jinzhou on an official visit. My mother was chosen to present flowers to the empress on her arrival. A large crowd stood on a gaily decorated dais, all holding yellow paper flags in the colors of Manchukuo. My mother was given a huge bouquet of flowers, and she was full of self-confidence as she stood next to the brass band and a group of VIPs in morning coats. A boy about the same age as my mother was Standing stiffly near her with a bouquet of flowers to present to Pu Yi. As the royal couple appeared the band struck up the Manchukuo national anthem. Everyone sprang to attention. My mother stepped forward and curtsied, expertly balancing her bouquet. The empress was wearing a white dress and very fine long white gloves up to her elbows.
1939年9月11日，我母亲入学第二年，“满洲国”皇帝溥仪携夫人到锦州视察。我母亲被选为学生代表向皇后献花。当天一大群人站在色彩鲜艳的露天平台上，手里挥动着象征“满洲国”的黄色纸旗。我母亲手捧一大束鲜花，站在铜管乐队和达官贵人旁边，显得神气十足。一个和我母亲年纪相仿的男孩则局促不安地站在她身旁，手里也抱着鲜花，这是要献给皇帝的。当溥仪夫妇出现时，奏起“满洲国”国歌，人人肃立致敬，我母亲走上前去，动作熟练地行屈膝礼，献上花。皇后身着白裙，戴着一双极薄的长至肘部的白手套，我母亲觉得她简直是漂亮极了。我母亲趁机瞥了一眼穿军服的溥仪，觉得在他厚厚的近视眼镜后面有着一双金鱼跟。
My mother thought she looked extremely beautiful. She managed to snatch a glance at Pu Yi, who was in military uniform. Behind his thick spectacles she thought he had 'piggy eyes."
Apart from the fact that she was a star pupil, one reason my mother was chosen to present flowers to the empress was that she always filled in her nationality on registration forms as "Manchu," like Dr. Xia, and Manchukuo was supposed to be the Manchus' own independent state. Pu Yi was particularly useful to the Japanese because, as far as most people were concerned, if they thought about it at all, they were still under the Manchu emperor. Dr. Xia considered himself a loyal subject, and my grandmother took the same view. Traditionally, an important way in which a woman expressed her love for her man was by agreeing with him in everything, and this came naturally to my grandmother. She was so contented with Dr. Xia that she did not want to turn her mind even slightly in the direction of disagreement.
我母亲之所以被挑选出来向皇后献花，不仅是因为她的成绩拔尖，还因为她在注册填表时把自己填为满族，这是她继父的民族。“满洲国”被称为满旗人自己的国家，这里的大多数居民是满人，假如能让他们有机会想想谁来统治这个问题，他们会说满人皇帝是天经地义的，所以溥仪对日本人的确很有用。夏瑞堂认为自己是个忠诚的子民，我姥姥也这样想。按照传统，女人表达爱情的一个重要方式就是对所爱的人百依百顺。和夏瑞堂意见不同这样的念头，姥姥是转也不转的。
At school my mother was taught that her country was Manchukuo, and that among its neighboring countries there were two republics of China one hostile, led by Chiang Kai-shek; the other friendly, headed by Wang Jingwei (Japan's puppet ruler of part of China). She was taught no concept of a "China' of which Manchuria was part.
在学校，我母亲接受的教育是祖国是“满洲国”，邻国中有两个中华民国：一个是蒋介石领导的“敌国”；一个是汪精卫领导的“友国”(日本人在中国占领区扶持的傀儡)。她被灌输“满洲”并非中国的一部分，要做“满洲国”的顺民。她在学校学的第一首歌是这样的：
The pupils were educated to be obedient subjects of Manchukuo. One of the first songs my mother learned was' Red boys and green gifts walk on the streets, They all say what a happy place Manchukuo is. Live under the Japanese You are happy and I am happy, Everyone lives peacefully and works joyfully free of any worries.
红男绿女踏街头，
人人都说好满洲。
你快活来我快活，
吃穿无愁肠，来、来、来，好满洲！
The teachers said that Manchukuo was a paradise on earth.
老师们常说“满洲国”是人间天堂。
But even at her age my mother could see that if the place could be called a paradise it was only for the Japanese.
然而，我母亲就是小小年纪也能觉察到，如果这是天堂的话，也只是日本人的天堂。
Japanese children attended separate schools, which were well equipped and well heated, with shining floors and clean windows. The schools for the local children were in dilapidated temples and crumbling houses donated by private patrons. There was no heating. In winter the whole class often had to run around the block in the middle of a lesson or engage in collective foot stamping to ward off the cold.
日本小孩上的专门学校，那里设备完善，有良好的暖气供应系统，光亮的地板和明净的玻璃窗。而当地的中国小孩则挤在破烂的庙宇和私人捐赠的旧房子里上课。冬天，由于没有暖气设备，往往不得不中止教学，同学们围着教室跑步，或一齐跺脚。
Not only were the teachers mainly Japanese, they also used Japanese methods, hitting the children as a matter of course. The slightest mistake or failure to observe the prescribed rules and etiquette, such as a girl having her hair half an inch below her earlobes, was punished with blows. Both gifts and boys were slapped on the face, hard, and boys were frequently struck on the head with a wooden club. Another punishment was to be made to kneel for hours in the snow.
不仅主要的教师都是日本人，教学方式也是日本式的，打学生是家常便饭。冒犯校规时，哪怕是最微小的过失，如象女孩的头发长过耳垂以下半寸，都会挨凑。处罚方式主要是赏一顿耳刮子，男孩子还常被木棍敲打头部。另一种惩罚方式是在雪地上跪几个钟头。
When local children passed a Japanese in the street, they had to bow and make way, even if the Japanese was younger than themselves. Japanese children would often stop local children and slap them for no reason at all. The pupils had to bow elaborately to their teachers every time they met them. My mother joked to her friends that a Japanese teacher passing by was like a whirlwind sweeping through a field of grass you just saw the grass bending as the wind blew by.
当地的孩子在街上遇到日本人时，得鞠躬让路，即便这个日本人比他们还年幼。日本学生常常叫住当地学生，无缘无故就打他们耳光。学生们遇到老师必须恭恭敬敬鞠躬行礼。我母亲常对她朋友开玩笑说：日本老师所到之处，就像旋风刮过草地，只见草儿们不断地弯腰。
Many adults bowed to the Japanese, too, for fear of offending them, but the Japanese presence did not impinge greatly on the Xias at first. Middle- and lower-echelon positions were held by locals, both Manchus and Han Chinese, like my great-grandfather, who kept his job as deputy police chief of Yixian. By 1940, there were about 15,000 Japanese in Jinzhou. The people living in the next house to the Xias were Japanese, and my grandmother was friendly with them. The husband was a government official. Every morning his wife would stand outside the gate with their three children and bow deeply to him as he got into a rickshaw to go to work. After that she would start her own work, kneading coal dust into balls for fuel.
许多成年人由于怕得罪日本人，也不得不向他们点头哈腰。不过，开始时，日本人的出现并没有给夏家造成很大冲击。中、下层职务仍由当地的满人和汉人担任，我外曾祖父继续做他的义县警察局副局长。到了1940年，在锦州的日本人约有一万五千人。夏瑞堂的隔壁邻居就是日本人，我姥姥和他们相处得很好。这家男主人是一位政府官员，每天早上，当他乘黄包车离家上班时，他妻子和三个孩子都站在门外，向他鞠躬道再见。此番仪式结束后，他妻子就开始做家务事。让我姥姥和我母亲大感困惑的是她戴着白手套搓煤球。第一个煤球还没有搓成，白手套就已脏得不成样子了。
For reasons my grandmother and my mother never understood, she always wore white gloves, which became filthy in no time.
The Japanese woman often visited my grandmother. She was lonely, with her husband hardly ever at home. She would bring a little sake, and my grandmother would prepare some snacks, like soy-pickled vegetables. My grandmother spoke a little Japanese and the Japanese woman a little Chinese. They hummed songs to each other and shed tears together when they became emotional. They often helped in each other's gardens, too. The Japanese neighbor had very smart gardening tools, which my grandmother admired greatly, and my mother was often invited over to play in her garden.
这位日本妇女常常来姥姥家闲坐。她很孤独，因为丈夫极少在家。来时，她爱带上一小瓶酒，姥姥则弄些佐酒小菜。姥姥能说一点日语，那位日本妇女也能讲些中文。她们还互相哼歌，激动时又相对流泪。她们经常相互帮助整理花园，这家邻居有很齐全的花园工具，对此我姥姥十分羡慕。我母亲也经常被邀请到她家花园里玩耍。
But the Xias could not avoid hearing what the Japanese were doing. In the vast expanses of northern Manchuria villages were being burned and the surviving population herded into 'strategic hamlets." Over five million people, about a sixth of the population, lost their homes, and tens of thousands died. Laborers were worked to death in mines under Japanese guards to produce exports to Japan for Manchuria was particularly rich in natural resources. Many were deprived of salt and did not have the energy to run away.
但是，夏瑞堂一家也听到了日本人所犯下的罪行。大片大片的“满洲国”北部村庄被烧毁，幸存者被赶进“战略村”集中。东北有六分之一的人口(约五百多万人)失去了家园，成千上万人死亡。东北的矿产资源十分丰富，矿工们在日本监工的严密监视下，没日没夜地干活，直至累死，采掘出的矿产都被运往日本。
Dr. Xia had argued for a long time that the emperor did not know about the evil things being done because he was a virtual prisoner of the Japanese. But when Pu Yi changed the way he referred to Japan from 'our friendly neighbor to 'the elder brother country' and finally to 'parent country," Dr. Xia banged his fist on the table and called him 'that famous coward." Even then, he said he was not sure how much responsibility the emperor should bear for the atrocities, until two traumatic events changed the Xias' world.
很长一段时期，夏瑞堂一直在为皇帝溥仪辩护，说溥仪实际上是日本人的阶下囚，对发生的罪行一无所知。但当溥仪把他对日本国的称呼从“友邦”变成“兄弟”，最后变成“亲邦父国”时，夏瑞堂气得举拳捶桌，大骂他是“认贼作父的昏君”。尽管如此，他仍说不知道皇帝对暴行该负多大的责任。然而，随后发生的两件事彻底改变了他的观点。
One day in late 194x Dr. Xia was in his surgery when a man he had never seen came into the room. He was dressed in rags, and his emaciated body was bent almost double. The man explained that he was a railway coolie, and that he had been having agonizing stomach pains. His work involved carrying heavy loads from dawn to dusk, 365 days a year. He did not know how he could go on, but if he lost his job he would not be able to support his wife and newborn baby.
1941年末的一天，夏瑞堂诊所来了一位衣衫褴褛的病人。他脸色蜡黄，身体干瘦，弓着腰，一副疼痛不堪的样子。他是铁路的苦力，从早到晚搬运沉重的货物，常觉得胃部像火烧火燎地疼痛。他不知道自己还能支撑多久，但一旦失业了，他就没法养活妻子和刚出世的孩子了。
Dr. Xia told him his stomach could not digest the coarse food he had to eat. On 1 June 1939, the government had announced that henceforth rice was reserved for the Japanese and a small number of collaborators. Most of the local population had to subsist on a diet of acorn meal and sorghum, which were difficult to digest. Dr. Xia gave the man some medicine free of charge, and asked my grandmother to give him a small bag of rice which she had bought illegally on the black market.
夏瑞堂告诉他，他的胃不能消化粗食。由于溥仪在1939年6月1日颁示，大米只供给日本人和少部分汉奸，绝大多数当地人不得不依靠橡子面和一些玉米、高粱过活，而这些都是难以消化的。夏瑞堂免费开药给他，又叫姥姥送给他一小袋大米——这是姥姥偷偷从黑市上买来的。
Not long afterward, Dr. Xia heard that the man had died in a forced labor camp. After leaving the surgery he had eaten the rice, gone back to work, and then vomited at the railway yard. A Japanese guard had spotted rice in his vomit and he had been arrested as an 'economic criminal' and hauled off to a camp. In his weakened state, he survived only a few days. When his wife heard what had happened to him, she drowned herself with their baby.
不久，夏瑞堂听说那人已死在苦工营了。原来他在离开诊所后，吃了米饭就去干活，结果在工地上呕吐了。一个日本监工从呕吐物中发现了大米饭粒，立刻以“经济犯罪”的名义逮捕了他，送进苦工营，由于他身体太虚弱，只活了几天。当他妻子听到噩耗时，抱着婴儿投河自尽了。
The incident plunged Dr. Xia and my grandmother into deep grief. They felt responsible for the man's death. Many times Dr. Xia would say: "Rice can murder as well as save!
这次意外事件使夏医生和我姥姥痛不自禁。他们觉得对这家人的死负有责任。夏瑞堂后来总是说：“大米能救人，也能杀人！一小袋大米，三条人命呀！”他开始骂溥仪是“暴君”了。
A small bagful, three lives!" He started to call Pu Yi 'that tyrant."
Shortly after this, tragedy struck closer to home. Dr. Xia's youngest son was working as a schoolteacher in Yixian. As in every school in Manchukuo, there was a big portrait of Pu Yi in the office of the Japanese headmaster, which everyone had to salute when they entered the room.
很快，惨剧直接降临夏家。夏瑞堂最小的儿子在义县当教师。和满洲国所有学校一样，日本校长的办公室里挂着一幅很大的溥仪像。每个人进房时都必须对此像行礼。
One day Dr. Xia's son forgot to bow to Pu Yi. The headmaster shouted at him to bow at once and slapped him so hard across the face he knocked him off balance. Dr. Xia's son was enraged: "Do I have to bend double every day?
有一天，夏瑞堂的儿子一时疏忽，忘了鞠躬。日本校长一个巴掌过去，他一时失去平衡，忍不住说：“难道我每天总得哈着腰，我就不能挺直身子，哪怕是站一会儿吗？早上朝会时我刚鞠了躬……”
Can I not stand up straight even for a momenff I have just done my obeisance in morning assembly .... The headmaster slapped him again and barked: "This is your emperor!? You Manchurians need to be taught elementary propriety!" Dr. Xia's son shouted back: "Big deal!? It's only a piece of paper? At that moment two other teachers, both locals, came by and managed to stop him from saying anything more incriminating. He recovered his self-control and eventually forced himself to perform a bow of sorts to the portrait.
没等说完，他脸上又重重挨了一下。只听日本校长喊道：“这是你们满人的皇帝，你们满洲人连最起码的礼节都不懂！”夏瑞堂的儿子冲口而出：“有什么了不起，不就是一张纸片嘛！”此时，另外两位中国老师赶来止住了他。他冷静下来，恢复自制后，勉强对肖像躬了躬腰。
That evening a friend came to his house and told him that word was out that he had been branded a 'thought criminal' an offense which was punishable by imprisonment, and possibly death. He ran away, and his family never heard of him again. Probably he was caught and died in prison, or else in a labor camp. Dr. Xia never recovered from the blow, which turned him into a determined foe of Manchukuo and of Pu Yi.
到了晚上，一位朋友跑来通风报信，说他已被定为“思想犯”——这种罪名起码得坐牢，还很可能被处死。夏瑞堂小儿子于是出逃了。从此再也没有听到过他的消息。可能他已被抓住，死在监牢或苦工营里了。
This was not the end of the story. Because of his brother's 'crime," local thugs began to harass De-gui, Dr. Xia's only surviving son, demanding protection money and claiming he had failed in his duty as the elder brother. He paid up, but the gangsters only demanded more. In the end, he had to sell the medicine shop and leave Yixian for Mukden, where he opened a new shop.
事情并未到此结束，由于弟弟“犯罪”，地方上的恶霸开始骚扰夏瑞堂唯一幸存的儿子德贵，声称他没有尽到兄长的责任，向他勒索保护费。他付了钱，但无赖们贪得无厌，得寸进尺，以至他不得不卖掉药铺，离开义县到了奉天(沈阳)。在那里，他重开了一家新店“泰和堂”。
By now, Dr. Xia was becoming more and more successful.
夏瑞堂从此成为满洲国和溥仪的死对头。
He treated Japanese as well as locals. Sometimes after treating a senior Japanese officer or a collaborator he would say, "I wish he were dead," but his personal views never affected his professional attitude.
夏瑞堂行医的名声越来越响，日本人、中国人都请他看病。有时他会在替一位日本高官或汉奸治疗之后，对家人说：“我希望他死掉才好。”但这并不影响他的行医态度。“病人是个人。”他常说：“做医生就得给他治病，不能管他是好人、坏人。”
"A patient is a human being," he used to say.
"That is all a doctor should think about. He should not mind what kind of a human being he is."
My grandmother had meanwhile brought her mother to Jinzhou. When she left home to marry Dr. Xia, her mother had been left alone in the house with her husband, who despised her, and the two Mongolian concubines, who hated her. She began to suspect that the concubines wanted to poison her and her small son, Yu-lin. She always used silver chopsticks, as the Chinese believe that silver will turn black if it comes into contact with poison, and she never touched her food or let Yu-lin touch it until she had tested it out on her dog. One day, a few months after my grandmother had left the house, the dog dropped dead.
姥姥此时已把她的母亲，即我的外曾祖母，接到锦州。姥姥与夏瑞堂结婚离家后，外曾祖母一直和丈夫在一起。但外曾祖父讨厌她。两个蒙古族姨太太也恨她。她开始疑心这两个女人想毒死她和年幼的儿子玉林，天天吃饭就都用银筷子，还总是先喂狗。在姥姥离家数月后的一天，那条狗突然暴毙。
For the first time in her life, she had a big row with her husband; and with the support of her mother-in-law, old Mrs. Yang, she moved out with Yu-lin into rented accommodation. Old Mrs. Yang was so disgusted with her son that she left home with them, and never saw her son again except at her deathbed.
外曾祖母忍无可忍，生平第一次与丈夫大吵一架。在婆婆杨老太太的支持下，她和玉林搬到外面租房子住下。杨老太太对儿子的所作所为也愤慨至极，她于是跟着媳妇、孙儿搬走了，从此再未见儿子，直至临终时，儿子才来看了她一眼。
In the first three years, Mr. Yang reluctantly sent them a monthly allowance, but at the beginning of 1939 this stopped, and Dr. Xia and my grandmother had to support the three of them. In those days there was no maintenance law, as there was no proper legal system, so a wife was entirely at the mercy of her husband. When old Mrs. Yang died in 1942 my great-grandmother and Yu-lin moved to Jinzhou, and went to live in Dr. Xia's house. She considered herself and her son to be second-class citizens, living on charity. She spent her time washing the family's clothes and cleaning up obsessively, nervously obsequious toward her daughter and Dr. Xia. She was a pious Buddhist and every day in her prayers asked Buddha not to reincarnate her as a woman.
他们搬出之后，外曾祖父按月送生活费给他们，但他极不情愿，到了1939年初就停止接济了。那时没有法律来保障分居或离婚妇女的权利，她们的生活完全靠丈夫发善心。外曾祖父不发善心，姥姥和夏瑞堂只得负担起他们的生活。当杨老太太于1942年去世后，外曾祖母就和玉林搬到锦州，住进了夏瑞堂家。外曾祖母心里总是不安，觉得自己和儿子寄人篱下。为了报答他们，她几乎用尽全部时间为全家人洗衣服和打扫房间，每天颠着小脚，小心翼翼地走来走去做家务事，生怕得罪了她女儿和夏瑞堂。她是一位虔诚的佛教徒，拜佛时总恳求菩萨让她下辈子不要再做女人，“来世就让我变猪变狗，不要变女人！”
"Let me become a cat or a dog, but not a woman," was her constant murmur as she shuffled around the house, oozing apology with every step.
My grandmother had also brought her sister, Lan, whom she loved dearly, to Jinzhou. Lan had married a man in Yixian who turned out to be a homosexual. He had offered her to a rich uncle, for whom he worked and who owned a vegetable-oil factory. The uncle had raped several female members of the household, including his young granddaughter. Because he was the head of the family, wielding immense power over all its members, Lan did not dare resist him. But when her husband offered her to his uncle's business parmer she refused. My grandmother had to pay the husband to disown her (x/u), as a woman could not ask for a divorce. My grandmother brought her to Jinzhou, where she was remarried, to a man called Pei-o.
姥姥还把她所喜爱的妹妹玉兰接到锦州。玉兰已在义县结婚，但丈夫是个同性恋。他把玉兰送给自己的老板——一位有钱的伯父玩弄。这位伯父拥有一家粮栈和一座榨油厂，已强奸了好几个自己家里的女人、包括他的小孙女。由于他是一家之主，拥有无上的权力，玉兰不敢与他抗争。但当她丈夫要把她再转让给他伯父的合伙人时，她拒绝了。姥姥不得不付钱给这个丈夫，让他休掉玉兰(那时女人不能要求离婚)，玉兰到锦州后，与当地一位叫佩欧的人结了婚。
Pei-o was a warder in the prison, and the couple often visited my grandmother. Pei-o's stories made my mother's hair stand on end. The prison was crammed with political prisoners. Pei-o often said how brave they were, and how they would curse the Japanese even as they were being tortured. Torture was standard practice, and the prisoners received no medical treaunent. Their wounds were just left to rot.
佩欧是监狱看守。他们夫妇俩常来我姥姥家走动。佩欧讲的故事常常令我母亲毛骨悚然。监狱里关的都是政治犯，他描述他们如何勇敢，受到严刑拷打，仍大骂日本人不已。酷刑是家常便饭，犯人们得不到任何治疗，伤口只得任其发炎溃烂。
Dr. Xia offered to go and treat the prisoners. On one of his first visits he was introduced by Pei-o to a friend of his called Dong, an executioner, who operated the garrote.
夏瑞堂主动提出要为这些犯人治病。他去监狱时，佩欧把他介绍给一位姓董的朋友。董是个刽子手，负责绞刑。犯人被捆在一张椅子上，一根绳子绕着脖子，另一端拴在轮子上，轮子有个把手。行刑时，刽子手摇动把手，绳子慢慢收紧，犯人就在缓慢窒息的极度痛苦中死掉。
The prisoner was tied to a chair with a rope around his neck. The rope was then slowly tightened. Death was excruciatingly slow.
Dr. Xia knew from his brother-in-law that Dong's conscience was troubled, and that whenever he was due to garrote someone, he had to get himself drunk beforehand.
从佩欧那里，夏瑞堂知道董的良心很是不安，每次行刑时，都事先把自己灌得烂醉。
Dr. Xia invited Dong to his house. He offered him gifts and suggested that perhaps he could avoid tightening the rope all the way. Dong said he would see what he could do. There was usually a Japanese guard or a trusted collaborator present, but sometimes, if the victim was not important enough, the Japanese did not bother to show up.
夏瑞堂请董到家，送给他一些礼物，暗示他尽可能救些犯人，如不要把绳子收得太紧。通常行刑时，总有一名日本士兵或一个受到信任的汉奸在场监督。但有时，如果被处死的人不那么重要。日本人就懒得露面了。还有些时候，他们在囚犯还没有真正断气时就离开刑场。董表示，在这类场合，他可以在囚犯死前做手脚停止绞刑。
At other times, they left before the prisoner was actually dead. On such occasions, Dong hinted, he could stop the garrote before the prisoner died.
行刑之后，囚犯尸体被放入薄木匣内，由一个老马夫用马车拉到郊外南山乱尸岗。到了那里，他打开木匣，把尸体倒进一个浅坑。为重男轻女家庭所溺杀的女婴尸体也常被抛入这些坑内，那时候，这种事很平常。野狗常常在此出没，以死尸为生。
After prisoners were garroted, their bodies were put into thin wooden boxes and taken on a cart to a stretch of barren land on the outskirts of town called South Hill, where they were tipped into a shallow pit. The place was infested with wild dogs, who lived on the corpses. Baby gifts who had been killed by their families, which was common in those days, were also often dumped in the pit.
Dr. Xia struck up a relationship with the old cart driver, and gave him money from time to time. Occasionally the driver would come into the surgery and start rambling on about life, in an apparently incoherent way, but eventually he would begin talking about the graveyard: "I told the dead souls it was not my fault they had ended up there. I told them that, for my part, I wished them well.
夏瑞堂结识了这位老车夫，不断送给他钱。老车夫也时时到夏的诊所聊天。谈来谈去，话题最终会扯到坟场。“我告诉那些死鬼，”他说，“你们落到这步田地，不要怪我，是日本人害的。记住今天是你们的忌日，明年今天是你们的周年。如果你们想远走高飞，也找个好点的地方投胎，你们头冲的那条路就是条好路。”董和老车夫秘密地救囚犯，虽然互相从来不谈论“营救工作”，夏瑞堂也不知道他们救活了多少人。日本人投降后，被救活的“死尸”们回到锦州，集资为董买了一幢房子和一些地。老车夫当时已去世了。
"Come back next year for your anniversary, dead souls. But in the meantime, if you wish to fly away to look for better bodies to be reincarnated in, go in the direction your head is pointed. That is a good path for you." Dong and the cart driver never spoke to each other about what they were doing, and Dr. Xia never knew how many people they had saved. After the war the rescued 'corpses' chipped in and raised money for Dong to buy a house and some land. The cart driver had died.
One man whose life they helped save was a distant cousin of my grandmother's called Han-chen, who had been an important figure in the resistance movement.
在他们救出的人当中，有一位是姥姥的远亲，名叫王汉臣，他是地下抗日运动的重要人物。
Because Jinzhou was the main raiiway junction north of the Great Wall, it became the assembly point for the Japanese in their assault on China proper, which started in July 1937. Security was extremely tight, and Han-chen's organization was infiltrated by a spy, and the entire group was arrested. They were all tortured. First water with hot chiles was forced down their noses; then their faces were slapped with a shoe which had sharp nails sticking out of the sole.
由于锦州是长城以北铁路干线的枢纽，从1937年7月起，它就成了日本掠夺中国财富的集散地，保安措施非常严格。王汉臣的地下组织被日本人的特务打入，整个组织的重要成员都被逮捕。他们受尽酷刑，灌辣椒水、压杠子、用钉子鞋打嘴巴。
Then most of them were executed. For a long time the Xias thought Han-chen was dead, until one day Uncle Pei-o told them that he was still alive but about to be executed. Dr. Xia immediately contacted Dong.
大部分的人都被杀害了，夏家也以为王汉臣已经死了。有一天，佩欧跑来说，王汉臣还活着，但就要被绞死了。夏瑞堂立即与董取得联系。
On the night of the execution Dr. Xia and my grandmother went to South Hill with a carriage. They parked behind a clump of trees and waited. They could hear the wild dogs rummaging around by the pit, from which rose the sickly stench of decomposing flesh. At last a cart appeared. Through the darkness they could dimly see the old driver climbing down and tipping some bodies out of wooden boxes. They waited for him to drive off and then went over to the pit. After groping among the corpses they found Han-chen, but could not tell if he was dead or alive.
行刑的那天晚上，夏瑞堂和姥姥带着车来到南山乱尸岗。他们把车藏在附近的树林中，然后悄悄守候。他们可以听到野狗扒坑时，低沉的嗥叫声和嘶咬声，还能嗅到从坑内散发出来的浓烈的腐臭味。不久，一辆大车出现了。黑暗中，他们隐隐看见老车夫驱车上坡，然后开始把尸体从木匣中倒出来。待老车夫驾车离去，他们赶忙跑到坑边，挨着尸体翻看，终于找到了王汉臣，细细看去，发觉他还活着。由于受酷刑折磨，他完全不能行走，他们费了很大的劲儿才把他弄上车，运回了家。
Eventually they realized he was still breathing. He had been so badly tortured he could not walk, so with great effort they lifted him into the carriage and drove him back to their house.
They hid him in a tiny room in the innermost corner of the house. Its one door led into my mother's room, to which the only other access was from her parents' bedroom. No one would ever go into the room by chance. As the house was the only one which had direct access to the courtyard, Han-chen could exercise there in safety, as long as someone kept watch.
王汉臣被安顿在夏家那间多出来的房间里。这房间只有一道门，通我母亲房间。我母亲的房间又只能通往姥姥和夏瑞堂的卧室，因而很难有人能够碰巧撞进小屋子里去。夏家是四合院内唯一有门进入院落的一家，其他两家人的门都面街，要进院需绕街通过大门。所以，只要有人放风，王汉臣甚至可以在院子里锻炼身体。
There was the danger of a raid by the police or the local neighborhood committees. Early on in the occupation the Japanese had set up a widespread system of neighbor hood control. They made the local big shots the heads of these units, and these neighborhood bosses helped collect taxes and kept a round-the-clock watch for 'lawless elements." It was a form of institutionalized gangsterism, in which 'protection' and informing were the keys to power.
不过，他们仍得冒着被警察和保甲长发现的危险。日本人早在占领初期就设立了对居民监控的制度“保甲连坐制”，把地方上的头面人物都扶持成保长或甲长，负责催税和昼夜查访“不法分子”。这好似一种制度化的黑社会组织，勒索“保护费”和告密是通向权力之钥。
The Japanese also offered large rewards for turning people in. The Manchukuo police were less of a threat than ordinary civilians. In fact, many of the police were quite anti Japanese. One of their main jobs was to check people's registration, and they used to carry out frequent house-to house searches. But they would announce their arrival by shouting out "Checking registrations!? Checking registrations!" So that anyone who wanted to hide had plenty of time. Whenever Han-chen or my grandmother heard this shout she would hide him in a pile of dried sorghum stacked in the end room for fuel. The police would saunter into the house and sit down and have a cup of tea, telling my grandmother rather apologetically, "All this is just a formality, you know .... '
日本人也肯出大钱奖赏告密的人。与这些人相比，“满洲国”的警察还不那么可怕。事实上，许多警察相当反日。虽然他们的主要工作之一是挨家挨户查户口，但每到此时，他们就边走边喊：“查户口了！查户口了！”先通知想躲的人。姥姥一听见喊声，就把王汉臣藏在柴房里的一大堆高粱秆中。警察要等好一会见才懒懒散散走进房子，坐下来喝杯茶，接着十分抱歉地对姥姥说：“您知道，这些都是例行公事……”那时我母亲11岁，尽管父母并没有告诉她所发生的一切，但她知道自己不能讲出王汉臣藏在哪里。她从小就学会了谨慎小心。
At the time my mother was eleven. Even though her parents did not tell her what was going on, she knew she must not talk about Han-chen being in the house. She learned discretion from childhood.
Slowly, my grandmother nursed Han-chen back to health, and after three months he was well enough to move on. It was an emotional farewell.
在姥姥的精心护理下，王汉臣逐渐康复。三个月后，他完全能走动了。告别时，他很激动。
"Elder sister and elder brother-in-law," he said, "I will never forget that I owe my life to you. As soon as I have the chance, I will repay my great debt to you both." Three years later he came back and was as good as his word.
“大姐、大姐夫”，他恳切地说，“我这条命是你们给的，今生今世，我永远都会记住。只要有机会，定将报答你们的大恩大德。”三年后，王汉臣回来了，也履行了自己的诺言。
As part of their education, my mother and her classmates had to watch newsreels of Japan's progress in the war. Far from being ashamed of their brutality, the Japanese vaunted it as a way to inculcate fear. The films showed Japanese soldiers cutting people in half and prisoners tied to stakes being torn to pieces by dogs. There were lingering close-ups of the victims' terror-stricken eyes as their attackers came at them. The Japanese watched the eleven and twelve-year-old schoolgirls to make sure they did not shut their eyes or try to stick a handkerchief in their mouths to stifle their screams. My mother had nightmares for years to come.
日式教育还强迫我母亲和同学们观看日本的战争纪录片。日本人对自己的残暴并不感到羞愧，也借以灌输恐怖心理。这些电影放映日本士兵把人劈成两半，把囚犯捆在柱子上，放狗将其撕成碎片，用刺刀划开人的肚皮。镜头还刻意强调受害者临死前瞪着刺刀尖的充满恐惧的眼神。放映时，日本人监视着这些十一二岁的女学生，不准她们闭上眼睛或咬手帕来压住惊叫。多年之后，我母亲仍常从这些恐怖镜头所引起的恶梦中惊醒。
During 1942, with their army stretched out across China, Southeast Asia, and the Pacific Ocean, the Japanese found themselves running short of labor. My mother's whole class was conscripted to work in a textile factory, as were the Japanese children. The local girls had to walk about four miles each way; the Japanese children went by truck. The local girls got a thin gruel made from moldy maize with dead worms floating in it; the Japanese girls had packed lunches with meat, vegetables, and fruit.
1942年，日本军队分散到中国腹地、东南亚和其他太平洋地区作战，人力大为短缺。高小学生和中学生，包括我母亲全班学生，都得停课去纺织厂劳动，美其名日“勤劳奉仕”。日本学生固然也不例外，但享受的却是特别待遇。每天，当中国姑娘步行四哩去上工时，满载日本姑娘的接送专车从她们身边飞驰而过。
吃午饭时，中国姑娘分到的是用发霉的玉米面做成的稀粥，有蛆虫漂浮在上面。日本姑娘吃的则是饭盒：有肉、蔬菜、水果。
The Japanese girls had easy jobs, like cleaning windows.
But the local girls had to operate complex spinning machines, which were highly demanding and dangerous even for adults. Their main job was to reconnect broken threads while the machines were running at speed. If they did not spot the broken thread, or reconnect it fast enough, they would be savagely beaten by the Japanese supervisor.
日本姑娘做的是轻松的活，如擦窗户之类，中国姑娘则被派去操作复杂的纺织机。她们来回奔跑在高速运转的机器前接线头。这对成年人也是困难、危险的。如果没及时找到断线头或接得不够快，就会遭到日本工头的毒打。
The girls were terrified. The combination of nervousness, cold, hunger, and fatigue led to many accidents. Over half of my mother's fellow pupils suffered injuries. One day my mother saw a shuttle spin out of a machine and knock out the eye of the girl next to her. All the way to the hospital the Japanese supervisor scolded the girl for not being careful enough.
姑娘们怕极了，神经老是绷得紧紧的。加上又冷、又累、又饿，结果事故频繁。我母亲同班同学中有一半以上受过伤。我母亲就亲眼见到一支梭子飞出机器，正好打伤站在她旁边的一位姑娘的眼睛。在去医院的路上，日本监工还不断责骂这位姑娘太粗心。
After the stint in the factory, my mother moved up into junior high school. Times had changed since my grandmother's youth, and young women were no longer confined to the four walls of their home. It was socially acceptable for women to get a high school education. However, boys and girls received different educations. For girls the aim was to turn them into 'gracious wives and good mothers," as the school motto put it. They learned what the Japanese called 'the way of a woman' looking after a household, cooking and sewing, the tea ceremony, flower arrangement, embroidery, drawing, and the appreciation of art. The single most important thing imparted was how to please one's husband. This included how to dress, how to do one's hair, how to bow, and, above all, how to obey, without question. As my grandmother put it, my mother seemed to have 'rebellious bones," and learned almost none of these skills, even cooking.
在工厂劳动后，我母亲升入中学。这个时代与姥姥年轻时相比，已大不一样。年轻妇女已不再被关在家里，妇女受教育已为社会所接受。不过，男女孩受的仍是不同的教育。学校对女孩子的培育方针是四个字：贤妻良母。她们学习日本人称作“妇道”的技艺：理家、烧饭、缝纫、茶道、花道、刺绣、绘画、艺术欣赏。其中最重要的是如何讨丈夫欢心，包括怎样穿戴、做头发、鞠躬，如何无条件地温顺。姥姥说我母亲长着“反骨”，所有这些技艺，甚至做饭，从未用心学过。
Some exams took the form of practical assignments.
such as preparing a particular dish or arranging flowers.
The examination board was made up of local officials, both Japanese and Chinese, and as well as assessing the exams, they also sized up the girls. Photos of them wearing prett3' aprons they had designed themselves were put up on the notice board with their assignments. Japanese officials often picked fiances from among the girls, as intermarriage between Japanese men and local women was encouraged. Some girls were also selected to go to Japan to be married to men they had not met. Quite often the girls or rather their families were willing. Toward the end of the occupation one of my mother's friends was chosen to go to Japan, but she missed the ship and was still in JMzhou when the Japanese surrendered. My mother looked askance at her.
制作一道风味佳肴，或表演插花，是某些考试的方式。日本人和中国人组成的评判委员会，不仅评分，也评人。穿着自己设计的漂亮围裙的姑娘照片，被放在布告栏里，日本官员常常从这些女孩子中挑选配偶。当时是鼓励日本男人和当地女子通婚，有的女孩子还被选中去日本与她们从未见过面的男人结婚。其中一些女孩子——或者更确切地说是她们的家庭——是心甘情愿的。我母亲瞧不起这些人。有个比她年长的朋友被选中去日本，不巧误了船，不久日本人投降了，她也就没去成。我母亲见她时，总是斜着眼瞅她。
In contrast with their Chinese Mandarin predecessors, who shunned physical activity, the Japanese were keen on sports, which my mother loved. She had recovered from her hip injury, and was a good runner. Once she was selected to run in an important race. She trained for weeks, and was all keyed up for the big day, but a few days before the race the coach, who was Chinese, took her aside and asked her not to try to win. He said he could not explain why. My mother understood. She knew the Japanese did not like to be beaten by the Chinese at anything. There was one other local girl in the race, and the coach asked my mother to pass on the same advice to her, but not to tell her that it came from him.
日本人与鄙视体力活动的中国人传统不同，他们热衷于运动，这很合爱跑跑跳跳的母亲的胃口。此时她年幼时被推落井中而摔断的髋骨已长好，成了短跑能手。有一次，她获选去参加与日本女子学校的短跑比赛。为了赢得胜利，她天天勤练。比赛前一天，她的中国教练把她叫到办公室，要她在这次比赛中，只能输，不能赢。教练说，他不能解释为什么。我母亲难过极了，她明白日本人不喜欢输给中国人。教练还要我母亲把此话转告给另一位参加者，但不得说出是他的意思。
On the day of the race my mother did not even finish in the first six. Her friends could tell she was not trying. But the other local girl could not bear to hold back, and came in first.
比赛那天，我母亲甚至没能进入前六名，朋友们都看出她完全没出力。另一位中国姑娘就显然没有接受劝告，她跑了第一名，报复跟着就来了。
The Japanese soon took their revenge. Every morning there was an assembly, presided over by the headmaster, who was nicknamed "Donkey' because his name when read in the Chinese way (Mao-h) sounded like the word for donkey (mao-h). He would bark out orders in harsh, guttural tones for the four low bows toward the four designated points. First, "Distant worship of the imperial capital!" in the direction of Tokyo. Then, "Distant worship of the national capital!" toward Hsinking, the capital of Manchukuo. Next, "Devoted worship of the Celestial Emperor!" meaning the emperor of Japan. Finally, "Devoted worship of the imperial portrait!" this time to the portrait of Pu Yi. After this came a shallower bow to the teachers.
当时，学校每天早上有一次由校长主持的朝会。校长绰号叫“毛驴”，因为他名字叫毛利。“毛驴”在朝会上总是用像在日本军队中发号施令似的噪音指挥学生行四个特定的鞠躬礼：首先是向东方，叫“帝都遥拜”；其次是向“满洲国”首都，叫“新京遥拜”；然后是“天皇遥拜”；最后是朝溥仪的肖像进行“皇帝遥拜”。
On this particular morning, after the bowing was completed, the girl who had won the race the day before was suddenly dragged out of her row by "Donkey," who claimed that her bow to Pu Yi had been less than ninety degrees. He slapped and kicked her and announced that she was being expelled. This was a catastrophe for her and her family.
赛后第二天的朝会上，鞠躬礼刚完毕，“毛驴”校长马上把前一天获胜的那位姑娘拖出队列，说她对溥仪的鞠躬不够90度。他狠狠地打她耳光，用脚踢她，并当场宣布开除她。
Her parents hurriedly married her off to a petty government official. After Japan's defeat her husband was branded as a collaborator, and as a result the only job his wife could get was in a chemical plant. There were no pollution controls, and when my mother went back to Jinzhou in 1984 and tracked her down she had gone almost blind from the chemicals. She was wry about the ironies of her life: having beaten the Japanese in a race, she had ended up being treated as a kind of collaborator. Even so, she said she had no regrets about winning the race.
这一决定对那位姑娘和她的家庭无异是大祸临头。她父母急急忙忙把她嫁给了一位政府小官吏以避祸。日本投降后，她丈夫被定罪为汉奸。身为汉奸妻子，她唯一的出路是到一家化工厂工作。这家化工厂污染严重。当我母亲于1984年重返锦州见到她时，她已因长期接触有毒化学物质而几乎失明了。她苦笑着说，生活多么具有讽刺意味：当初她坚持要赢日本人，因此被迫结婚而成为“汉奸”队伍中的一员，受尽磨难。尽管如此，她仍然说，她对赢得比赛一点儿不后悔。
It was difficult for people in Manchukuo to get much idea of what was happening in the rest of the world, or of how Japan was faring in the war. The fighting was a long way away, news was strictly censored, and the radio churned out nothing but propaganda. But they got a sense that Japan was in trouble from a number of signs, especially the worsening food situation.
由于日本人严密封锁消息，“满洲国”的“臣民们”很难知道外部世界的变化。但从越来越糟的粮食供应上，他们感到日本人的日子不好过了，街头巷尾流传着这样一句歇后语：日本人吃高粱米——没法子。
The first real news came in summer 1943, when the newspapers reported that one of Japan's allies, Italy, had surrendered. By the middle of 1944 some Japanese civilians staffing government offices in Manchukuo were being conscripted. Then, on 19July 1944, American B-29s appeared in the sky over Jinzhou for the first time, though they did not bomb the city. The Japanese ordered even household to dig air-raid shelters, and there was a compulsory air-raid drill every day at school. One day a girl in my mother's class picked up a fire extinguisher and squirted it at a Japanese teacher whom she particularly loathed.
1943年夏天，日本人控制的报纸报道了盟国意大利投降的消息。1944年中期，许多在满洲国政府供职的日本公民被征募入伍。1944年7月29日，美国B-29轰炸机首次出现在锦州上空。日本人下令家家挖防空掩体，学校每天举行一次防空演习。一天，我母亲班上的一位姑娘有意装无意地端起灭火器，朝她特别恨的日本教师身上喷。要是在过去，此事会招来可怕的惩罚，但她竟然没被追究，看来形势对日本人极为不利了。
Previously, this would have brought dire retribution,-but now she was allowed to get away with it. The fide was turning.
There had been a long-standing campaign to catch flies and rats. The pupils had to chop off the rats' tails, put them in envelopes, and hand them in to the police. The flies had to be put in glass bottles. The police counted every rat tail and every dead fly. One day in 1944 when my mother handed in a glass bottle full to the brim with flies, the Manchukuo policeman said to her: "Not enough for a meal." When he saw the surprised look on her face, he said: "Don't you know? The Nips like dead flies. They fry them and eat them!" My mother could see from the cynical gleam in his eye that he no longer regarded the Japanese as awesome.
“满洲国”盛行着消灭苍蝇、老鼠运动。学生们必须剪下老鼠尾巴，装在信封里，交给警察。苍蝇则装在玻璃瓶内，由警察点数。1944年的一天，当我母亲拿着装满苍蝇的玻璃瓶上交时，警察瞧了瞧对她说：“还不够吃一顿呢！”他看到我母亲脸上露出不解的神情，就说：“怎么，你不知道？小日本爱吃死苍蝇，他们油炸着吃呢！”我母亲明显感到他已不再把日本人看得那么可怕了。
My mother was excited and full of anticipation, but during the autumn of 1944 a dark cloud had appeared: her home did not seem to be as happy as before. She sensed there was discord between her parents.
这一段时闻，母亲总是很兴奋，好像有什么好事就要发生了。但是在1944年秋天，她的心头却开始笼罩上乌云。她的家好像不似以往那么快乐，双亲之间有了隔阂。
The fifteenth night of the eighth moon of the Chinese year was the Mid-Autumn Festival, the festival of family union. On that night my grandmother would place a table with melons, round cakes, and buns outside in the moonlight, in accordance with the custom. The reason this date was the festival of family union is that the Chinese word for 'union' (yuan) is the same as that for 'round' or 'unbroken'; the full autumn moon was supposed to look especially, splendidly, round at this time. All the items of food eaten on that day had to be round too.
农历八月十五中秋节，是合家欢聚的时刻。以前每到这天，姥姥爱在银色月光下摆开桌子，放些水果和月饼。在柔丝般的月光下，姥姥会讲吴刚桂树、嫦娥玉兔的故事给母亲听。母亲总是两眼望着神奇的满月，听得入迷。但姥姥从来不许她说一个“圆”字，原因是夏瑞堂大家庭已四分五裂。每到中秋前后几天，夏瑞堂就闷闷不乐。
In the silky moonlight, my grandmother would tell my mother stories about the moon: the largest shadow in it was a giant cassia tree which a certain lord, Wu Gang, was spending his entire life trying to cut down. But the tree was enchanted and he was doomed to repeated failu/e. My mother would stare up into the sky and listen, fascinated.
The full moon was mesmerizingly beautiful to her, but on that night she was not allowed to describe it, because she was forbidden by her mother to utter the word 'round," as Dr. Xia's family had been broken up. Dr. Xia would be downcast for the whole day, and for several days before and after the festival. My grandmother would even lose her usual flair for storytelling.
On the night of the festival in 1944, my mother and my grandmother were sitting under a trellis covered with winter melons and beans, gazing through the gaps in the shadowy leaves into the vast, cloudless sky. My mother started to say, "The moon is particularly round tonight," but my grandmother interrupted her sharply, then suddenly burst into tears. She rushed into the house, and my mother heard her sobbing and shrieking: "Go back to your son and grandsons!? Leave me and my daughter and go your own way!" Then, in gasps between sobs, she said:
1944年中秋之夜，母亲和姥姥坐在爬满冬瓜和豆子的凉棚架下，是时皓月临空，万籁俱寂。透过叶子之间的缝隙，凝视那无星的光辉，母亲情不自禁脱口而出：“今晚月亮好圆哟！”话音未落，姥姥猛然哭起来，转身跑回房中，母亲听见她边哭边对夏瑞堂说：“到你儿子和孙子那里去吧！离开我和我女儿，你走好了！”她哽咽了一会儿，又说：
"Was it my fault or yours that your son killed himself? Why should we have to bear the burden year after year? It isn't me who is stopping you seeing your children. It is they who have refused to come and see you .... Since they had left Yixian, only De-gui, Dr. Xia's second son, had visited them. My mother did not hear a sound from Dr. Xia.
“你儿子自杀，是我的错，还是你的错？为什么我们要年复一年背着这个包袱呢？不是我不要你去看你的孩子们，是他们不要见你啊！……”自从离开义县，只有二儿子德贵来看过他们。夏瑞堂当时一言不发。
From then on my mother felt there was something wrong. Dr. Xia became increasingly taciturn, and she instinctively avoided him. Every now and then my grandmother would become tearful, and murmur to herself that she and Dr. Xia could never be completely happy with the heavy price they had paid for their love. She would hug my mother close and tell her that she was the only thing she had in her life.
打那以后，母亲总觉得有什么地方不对劲。夏瑞堂变得越来越沉默寡言，母亲也本能地回避他。姥姥时常独自落泪，有时，姥姥会突然把我母亲紧紧接住，在她耳边喃喃地说：“除了你，我什么也没有！”
My mother was in an uncharacterisfically melancholy mood as winter descended on Jinzhou. Even the appearance of a second flight of American B-29s in the clear, cold December sky failed to lift her spirits.
当冬季降临锦州时，我母亲仍是若有所失，甚至美国B-29飞机第二次出现在晴朗、寒冷的十二月天空中时，也没能振作起她的精神。
The Japanese were becoming more and more edgy. One day one of my mother's school friends got hold of a book by a banned Chinese writer. Looking for somewhere quiet to read, she went off into the countryside, where she found a cavern which she thought was an empty air-raid shelter.
日本人越来越紧张不安。有一天，母亲一位同学借到一本被禁的中国作家小说，来到效外，想找个僻静处读它。她发现一个好像是防空洞的地方，就走了进去，在黑暗中摸索。她的手碰到一个电灯开关似的按钮。顿时警报大作。原来她无意中间进了军火库。她想逃跑，但两腿已吓得发软，勉强跑了几十尺，便被一个日本兵抓住拖走。
Groping around in the dark, her hand touched what felt like a light switch. A piercing noise erupted. What she had touched was an alarm. She had stumbled into an arms depot. Her legs turned to jelly. She tried to run, but got only a couple of hundred yards before some Japanese soldiers caught her and dragged her away.
Two days later the whole school was marched to a barren, snow-covered stretch of ground outside the west gate, in a bend of the Xiaoling River. Local residents had also been summoned there by the neighborhood chiefs.
两天后，全校学生、教师列队来到西门外小凌河湾一片覆盖积雪的空地上，附近居民也被保甲长召到这里。据说是观看“惩罚对大日本帝国不忠诚的罪人”。突然，母亲看见她的同学被几个日本宪兵拖来。姑娘戴着脚镣手铐，几乎无法移步。她显然受到严刑拷打，脸肿得难以辨认。当她被拉到指定位置，日本士兵举枪瞄准时，她的嘴唇微微抖动，似乎想说什么，但发不出声音。随着一排枪响，她摔到地上，鲜血染红了雪地。日本校长“毛驴”瞪着眼睛扫视学生。母亲竭力压抑着内心的悲愤，强迫自己再看一眼同学的遗体，但她什么也看不清，在眼前晃动的是一片耀眼的红色和白色。
The children were told they were to witness 'the punishment of an evil person who disobeys Great Japan." Suddenly my mother saw her friend being hauled by Japanese guards to a spot right in front of her. The girl was in chains and could hardly walk. She had been tortured, and her face was so swollen that my mother could barely recognize her. Then the Japanese soldiers lifted their rifles and pointed them at the girl, who seemed to be trying to say something, but no sound came out. There was a crack of bullets, and the girl's body slumped as her blood began to drip onto the snow.
"Donkey," the Japanese headmaster, was scanning the rows of his pupils. With a tremendous effort, my mother tried to hide her emotions. She forced herself to look at the body of her friend, which by now was lying in a glistening red patch in the white snow.
She heard someone trying to suppress sobs. It was Mi~s Tanaka, a young Japanese woman teacher whom she liked.
她听到有人在抽噎，是田中小姐，一位母亲喜欢的年轻日本女教师。
In an instant "Donkey' was on Miss Tanaka, slapping and kicking her. She fell to the ground, and tried to roll out of the way of his boots, but he went on kicking her ferociously.
“毛驴”立刻闻声赶来，他狠狠抽她的耳光，用皮靴踢她。田中小姐跌倒了，翻滚着，想避开“毛驴”的靴尖。“毛驴”仍不停脚地踢，骂她背叛了日本民族。最后他停了下来，吼叫着发出离开的命令。
She had betrayed the Japanese race, he bawled. Eventually "Donkey' stopped, looked up at the pupils, and barked the order to march off.
My mother took one last look at the crooked body of her teacher and the corpse of her friend and forced down her hate.
母亲最后再看了一眼蜷缩着的田中小姐和同学的尸体，强压下她的仇恨。