12 The Child Learns

第十二章 孩子的教育

JAPANESE BABIES are not brought up in the fashion that a thoughtful Westerner might suppose. American parents, training their children for a life so much less circumspect and stoical than life in Japan, nevertheless begin immediately to prove to the baby that his own little wishes are not supreme in this world. We put him immediately on a feeding schedule and a sleeping schedule, and no matter how he fusses before bottle time or bed time, he has to wait. A little later his mother strikes his hand to make him take his finger out of his mouth or away from other parts of his body. His mother is frequently out of sight and when she goes out he has to stay behind. He has to be weaned before he prefers other foods, or if he is bottle fed, he has to give up his bottle. There are certain foods that are good for him and he must eat them. He is punished when he does not do what is right. What is more natural for an American to suppose than that these disciplines are redoubled for the little Japanese baby who, when he is a finished product, will have to subordinate his own wishes and be so careful and punctilious an observer of such a demanding code?

日本人哺育幼儿的方法，恐怕与善于深思熟虑的西方人所想象的不同。美国的父母们训练他们的孩子去迎接的生活，比起日本的生活来，要求谨慎和克己之处要少得多。尽管如此，他们从婴儿降生的瞬间起就要婴儿懂得自己的小小的愿望在这个世界上并不是至高无上的。喂奶要固定时间、睡觉也要固定时间。时间不到，无论婴儿怎样哭闹缠磨，也必须等待时间到了才可以。稍大之后，母亲为了不让婴儿将手含在嘴里或者触摸身体的其他部分，会打婴儿的手。母亲经常不知去向见不到身影；而且，母亲外出时，婴儿必须留在家里。另外，在婴儿尚不愿吃其他食品留恋母奶时，就要强迫他断奶。如果是靠人工喂养的孩子，必须离开奶瓶。对身体有益的一些食物是规定好了的，无论如何也必须吃下去，否则会受到惩罚。这样美国人自然会想象，连美国的孩子都受到这样的管束，那么，如此压抑自己愿望，如此注重道德实践的日本人，他们在婴幼儿时一定受到比美国婴幼儿更加严厉的管束。

The Japanese, however, do not follow this course. The arc of life in Japan is plotted in opposite fashion to that in the United States. It is a great shallow U-curve with maximum freedom and indulgence allowed to babies and to the old. Restrictions are slowly increased after babyhood till having one's own way reaches a low just before and after marriage. This low line continues many years during the prime of life, but the arc gradually ascends again until after the age of sixty men and women are almost as unhampered by shame as little children are. In the United States we stand this curve upside down. Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows in strength until a man runs his own life when he gets a self-supporting job and when he sets up a household of his own. The prime of life is with us the high point of freedom and initiative. Restrictions begin to appear as men lose their grip or their energy or become dependent. It is difficult for Americans even to fantasy a life arranged according to the Japanese pattern. It seems to us to fly in the face of reality.

但是，日本人的做法与此完全不同。日本的生活曲线正好与美国的生活曲线相反，是一种浅底U字形曲线。婴儿和老人允许有最大限度的自由，可以恣意任性。但幼儿期一过，约束便逐步增加。恰好要结婚前后的一段时间，允许随心所欲的自由降到最低线上。这条最低线将在整个壮年期持续数十年之久。其后，曲线又再次逐渐回升，等过了六十岁，人们又会和幼儿时一样，不必再为顾及体面、羞耻烦恼了。在美国，我们的生活曲线恰恰与此相反。幼儿时期严加管教，随着孩子体力的增加，管束会越来越松。到了他谋得了独立生活的职业，成了家，能够很好地自力更生的年龄，就不会受人掣肘了。在我们来说，壮年期正好达到自由和自发性的顶点。等到上了年岁，头脑糊涂、体力衰退，成了别人的累赘时，管束又开始出现了。按照日本的这种模式组织起来的生活，美国人甚至是难以想象的。在我们看来，这样的一生，似乎完全与事实相反。

Both the American and the Japanese arrangement of the arc of life, however, have in point of fact secured in each country the individual's energetic participation in his culture during the prime of life. To secure this end in the United States, we rely on increasing his freedom of choice during this period. The Japanese rely on maximizing the restraints upon him. The fact that a man is at this time at the peak of his physical strength and at the peak of his earning powers does not make him master of his own life. They have great confidence that restraint is good mental training (shuyo) and produces results not attained by freedom. But the Japanese increase of restraints upon the man or woman during their most active producing periods by no means indicates that these restraints cover the whole of life. Childhood and old age are ‘free areas.'

然而，事实上，不论美国人还是日本人，上述的生活曲线都保证了他们壮年期在各自的国度里充分发挥作用、参与本国文明的进程。在美国，我们认为要达到这一目的，重要的是在壮年期扩大个人选择的自由。然而，日本人则认为必须最大限度地强化个人的束缚。尽管人们在这一时期不论体力还是谋生本领都达到了顶点，却不容许他有任着自己的喜好去生活的权利。他们相信束缚是最好不过的精神训练，可以产生出依靠自由无法达到的结果。于是，日本人便以最大的束缚加在了处于最活跃的生产期男女身上。但是，这并不表明要终生施加这种束缚。幼儿期和老年期便是“自由的领域”。

A people so truly permissive to their children very likely want babies. The Japanese do. They want them, first of all, as parents do in the United States, because it is a pleasure to love a child. But they want them, too, for reasons which have much less weight in America. Japanese parents need children, not alone for emotional satisfaction, but because they have failed in life if they have not carried on the family line. Every Japanese man must have a son. He needs him to do daily homage to his memory after his death at the living-room shrine before the miniature gravestone. He needs him to perpetuate the family line down the generations and to preserve the family honor, and possessions. For traditional social reasons the father needs his son almost as much as the young son needs his father. The son will take his father's place in the on-going future and this is not felt as supplanting but as insuring the father. For a few years the father is trustee of the ‘house.' Later it will be his son. If the father could not pass trusteeship to his son, his own role would have been played in vain. This deep sense of continuity prevents the dependency of the fully grown son on his father, even when it is continued so much longer than it is in the United States, from having the aura of shame and humiliation which it so generally has in Western nations.

这样真正对子女宽容的国民，希望得到孩子的倾向更强烈。日本人正是如此。他喜欢要孩子的第一条原因，同美国的父母们一样，是因为爱孩子是一种乐趣。然而，日本人想要孩子，其原因并不仅限于此，还有着在美国占比重很小的其他种种原因。日本的父母们需要孩子，不只是为了得到精神上的满足，还因为如果家族的血统断绝，他们就要成为人生的失败者。所有的日本男子都必须有儿子。他需要有儿子在自己百年之后天天向着佛坛上的灵位为自己祈祷，他需要有儿子把血统世世代代永远传下去，同时维护家门的荣誉和财产。根据传统的社会原因，父亲需要儿子，与幼年的儿子需要父亲，在程度上几乎没有什么两样。人们认为儿子终会取代父亲。但是，这并不等于将父亲推到一边，相反，是要让父亲放心。一段时间，父亲居于“家庭”管理人的地位，后来由儿子接替过去。倘若父亲不能将户主的身份交给儿子，那他便是白白担任了管理人的角色。由于存在着这种根深蒂固的连接性的意识，完全长大成人的儿子对于接受父亲的照顾，并不像西方各国通常认为的那样，会感到羞耻或不体面。即使这种状态持续的时间要比美国长很多。

A woman too wants children not only for her emotional satisfaction in them but because it is only as a mother that she gains status. A childless wife has a most insecure position in the family, and even if she is not discarded she can never look forward to being a mother-in-law and exercising authority over her son's marriage and over her son's wife. Her husband will adopt a son to carry on his line but according to Japanese ideas the childless woman is still the loser. Japanese women are expected to be good childbearers. The average annual birth-rate during the first half of the nineteen-thirties was 31.7 per 1000 which is high even when compared to prolific countries of Eastern Europe. In the United States in 1940 the rate was 17.6 per 1000. Japanese mothers, too, begin their childbearing early, and girls of nineteen bear more children than women of any other age.

女人也需要孩子，这也不仅是为了得到精神上的满足，而是因为女人只有成为母亲才能得到地位，没有孩子的妻子在家庭的地位极不稳定。即使没有离婚，也不能指望将来有一天能当上婆婆，对儿子的婚姻拥有发言权，对媳妇行使自己的权力。即使她的丈夫为了不使血统断绝，会招来养子，但是，按照日本人的观念，她仍是个失败者。日本的妇女们希望多生孩子，三十年代前期平均出生率是千分之三十一点七。这个出生率比东欧许多多产的国家都要高。美国一九四〇年度的出生率只有千分之十七点六。同时，日本的母亲生育很早，十九岁的女性比其他任何年龄的妇女生的孩子都多。

Childbirth is as private in Japan as sexual intercourse and women may not cry out in labor because this would publicize it. A little pallet bed has been prepared for the baby with its own new mattress and bedcover. It would be a bad omen for the child not to have its own new bed, even if the family can do no more than have the quilt covers and the stuffing cleaned and renovated to make them ‘new.' The little bed quilt is not as stiff as grown-ups' covers and it is lighter. The baby is therefore said to be more comfortable in its own bed, but the deeply felt reason for its separate bed is still felt to be based on a kind of sympathetic magic: a new human being must have its own new bed. The baby's pallet is drawn up close to the mother's, but the baby does not sleep with its mother until it is old enough to show initiative. When it is perhaps a year old, they say the baby stretches out its arms and makes its demand known. Then the baby sleeps in its mother's arms under her covers.

在日本，一般分娩与性交一样，应该悄悄地进行。开始阵痛的妇女不能大声喊叫。因为这就等于把生孩子的事公诸于左邻右舍。婴儿出生前要预先准备好新铺盖。新生婴儿的铺盖如果不备新的，据说不吉利。即使无力购置新品的家庭也得将被褥拆洗翻新。他们说，小铺盖不像大人的铺盖那么硬实，也轻得多。婴儿睡在自己的被窝里，会感到舒服。但是，他们心灵深处要为儿女另备铺盖的原因，据说至今依然来源于新人必须给新铺盖这样一种“感应咒术”。婴儿的铺盖铺在母亲床铺旁边，直到他长到自己能用动作表明愿与母亲睡在一起的时候，才能和母亲睡在一起。他们说，婴儿满周岁后，便会伸出双手表达自己的要求。这时，婴儿便由母亲抱着睡在自己被窝里。

For three days after its birth the baby is not fed, for the Japanese wait until the true milk comes. After this the baby may have the breast at any time either for food or comfort. The mother enjoys nursing too. The Japanese are convinced that nursing is one of a woman's greatest physiological pleasures and the baby easily learns to share her pleasure. The breast is not only nourishment: it is delight and comfort. For a month the baby lies on his little bed or is held in his mother's arms. It is only after the baby has been taken to the local shrine and presented there at the age of about thirty days that his life is thought to be firmly anchored in his body so that it is safe to carry him around freely in public. After he is a month old, he is carried on his mother's back. A double sash holds him under his arms and under his behind and is passed around the mother's shoulders and tied in front at the waist. In cold weather the mother's padded jacket is worn right over the baby. The older children of the family, both boys and girls, carry the baby, too, even at play when they are running for base or playing hopscotch. The villagers and the poorer families especially depend on child nurses, and ‘living in public, as the Japanese babies do, they soon acquire an intelligent, interested look, and seem to enjoy the games of the older children upon whose backs they are carried as much as the players themselves.'* The spread-eagle strapping of the baby on the back in Japan has much in common with the shawl-carrying common in the Pacific Islands and elsewhere. It makes for passivity and babies carried in these ways tend to grow up, as the Japanese do too, with a capacity for sleeping anywhere, anyhow. But the Japanese strapping does not encourage as complete passivity as shawl and bag carrying. The baby ‘learns to cling like a kitten to the back of whoever carries it…… The straps that tie it to the back are sufficient for safety; but the baby . . . is dependent on its own exertions to secure a comfortable position and it soon learns to ride its bearer with considerable skill instead of being merely a bundle tied to the shoulders.'*

婴儿生后三天不给他喂奶。这是因为日本人在等真正的乳汁出来。其后，婴儿不论是吃奶也好，当做玩意儿玩也好，随时都可以将奶头含在嘴里，母亲也喜欢给孩子喂奶。日本人相信，喂奶是妇女生理上最大的乐趣之一。而且，婴儿也很容易感受到母亲的这种欢乐。乳房不仅给他营养，还给他喜悦和欢乐。婴儿出生一个月之内不是睡在自己的小被窝里，便是由母亲抱在怀里，大约过三十天左右，才被抱到当地的神社去进行参拜。一般认为，参拜之后生命在婴儿身上牢牢扎下根来，再怎样抱着往外跑，也不会有什么关系了。一个月过后，婴儿便由母亲背在背上，用双层带子托住孩子腋下和臀部，带子搭在母亲肩上，绕到前面，在腰前系好。天冷的日子，再穿上肥大的棉套衣，把婴儿全盖在里面。有时家里的大孩子——不论男孩或女孩——都背婴儿，而且游戏时，譬如跑垒或跳房子玩儿也不放下。尤其是农村或贫苦家庭由大孩子照看幼儿的情况就更常见。由于“日本的婴儿这样生活在人堆里，很快便会做出聪明伶俐、兴味津津的表情。他看着背自己的大孩子们游戏，显得和玩耍的人一样高兴。”引自艾利斯·梅布尔·培根：《日本的妇女与女孩》，第6页。日本人将婴儿四肢张开系在背上的习惯，与太平洋群岛等地区通常将婴儿用披巾挂在肩上的习惯有许多相似之处。孩子是被动的，这样带着孩子到处走，孩子长大后会养成不论在任何地方，也不管用什么恣势都能安然熟睡的习惯。但是，日本用带子背婴儿的习惯，不像装在披巾里或袋子里带着婴儿到处走那样，会使孩子完全养成被动性。婴儿“在背着自己的人背上，会学到像小猫似的紧紧抓住的本领……因为是用带子系在背上的，所以用不着担心掉下来。不过，婴儿通过自己多方尝试，会找到舒服的姿势，而且不久还会学会不是像系在肩的包袱那样，而是非常巧妙地伏在背他的人背上的本领”同前，第10页。。

The mother lays the baby on its bed whenever she is working and carries it with her wherever she goes on the streets. She talks to it. She hums to it. She puts it through the etiquette motions. If she returns a greeting herself, she moves the baby's head and shoulders forward so that it too makes salutation. The baby is always counted in. Every afternoon she takes it with her into the hot bath and plays with it as she holds it on her knees.

母亲干活时将婴儿放在床铺上，外出时背在背上。她同婴儿说话，哼着歌给婴儿听，还让婴儿做各种礼节的动作。每当母亲自己给别人还礼时，总要往前按着婴儿的头和肩让婴儿鞠躬。婴儿总是参加进去。每天午后母亲给婴儿洗澡，把他放在膝上与他嬉戏。

For three or four months the baby wears diapers, very heavy cloth pads upon which Japanese sometimes blame their bow-leggedness. When the baby is three or four months old, the mother begins his nursery training. She anticipates his needs, holding him in her hands outside the door. She waits for him, usually whistling low and monotonously, and the child learns to know the purpose of this auditory stimulus. Everyone agrees that a baby in Japan, as in China too, is trained very early. If there are slips, some mothers pinch the baby but generally they only change the tone of their voices and hold the hard-to-train baby outside the door at more frequent intervals. If there is withholding, the mother gives the baby an enema or a purge. Mothers say that they are making the baby more comfortable; when he is trained he will no longer have to wear the thick uncomfortable diapers. It is true that a Japanese baby must find diapers unpleasant, not only because they are heavy but because custom does not decree that they be changed whenever he wets them. The baby is nevertheless too young to perceive the connection between nursery training and getting rid of uncomfortable diapers. He experiences only an inescapable routine implacably insisted upon. Besides, the mother has to hold the baby away from her body, and her grip must be firm. What the baby learns from the implacable training prepares him to accept in adulthood the subtler compulsions of Japanese culture.*

在三四个月之内，要给婴儿垫尿布。尿布是用厚而硬的布做的，非常笨重。日本不少人罗圈腿，据说因为垫尿布的关系。婴儿长到三个月或四个月，母亲便开始对他进行如下教育：母亲适时将婴儿抱到室外，手把着婴儿的身体，吹着低沉、单调的口哨，等孩子排便，孩子能理解这种听觉刺激的目的。谁都承认日本婴儿——中国也是如此——很快便会这样排便。婴儿尿床时，有的母亲拧婴儿的屁股，但通常只是斥责。对老是记不住的婴儿就要比以前更频繁地抱到室外去用手把着他。遇到便秘时，或者灌肠，或者使用泻药。母亲说，进行这样的教育，是为了让婴儿舒服，等他养成排便的习惯后，就不会再用那种厚厚的、不舒服的尿布了。的确，日本的婴儿肯定会对尿布有一种不快之感，因为它僵硬、厚，而且还没有习惯尿湿了就让人给换下来。然而，他并不了解排便的教育与去掉不舒服的尿布之间的联系。他只是每天重复着毫不留情地加在他身上的、无法摆脱的必修课程。同时，母亲还要紧紧抓住他的身体用手把着他，让他尽可能离开自己身体远一些。婴儿通过这种不留情的教育学到的东西，为他将来成人后顺从日本文化的更为复杂微妙的强制，奠定了基础。引自杰弗里·格勒：《日本文化的主题》，纽约科学院学报第五卷，第106～124页，1943年。其中作者强调日本人排便教育的作用。

The Japanese baby usually talks before it walks. Creeping has always been discouraged. Traditionally there was a feeling that the baby ought not to stand or take steps till it was a year old and the mother used to prevent any such attempts. The government in its cheap, widely circulated Mother's Magazine has for a decade or two taught that walking should be encouraged and this has become much more general. Mothers loop a sash under the baby's arms or support it with their hands. But babies still tend to talk even earlier. When they begin to use words the stream of baby talk with which adults like to amuse a baby becomes more purposive. They do not leave the baby's acquiring of language to chance imitation; they teach the baby words and grammar and respect language, and both the baby and the grown-ups enjoy the game.

日本的婴儿通常还不会走路便学会了说话。到处爬，从来是不太提倡的。按照传统的做法，婴儿不满周岁，不许站立或走路。因此，以前一概禁止母亲让婴儿进行这种尝试。但是，最近十几年来政府通过它广泛发行的廉价杂志《母子手册》告诉人们，应该奖励步行。现在这种做法已经相当普遍，母亲或者将绳子在婴儿腋下系成个圈，或者用手扶着他的身体。尽管如此，还是有说话先于走路的趋势。大人常爱和婴儿说话，逗着婴儿玩。婴儿在他们开始使用单词时，便已逐渐地有了明确的目的。日本人不只是让婴儿靠着偶然地模仿说话，他们教婴儿单词、语法和术语。而且，婴儿和大人同时沉湎在这种游戏的欢乐之中。

When children can walk they can do a lot of mischief in a Japanese home. They can poke their fingers through paper walls, and they can fall into the open fire pit in the middle of the floor. Not content with this, the Japanese even exaggerate the dangers of the house. It is ‘dangerous' and completely taboo to step on the threshold. The Japanese house has, of course, no cellar and is raised off the ground on joists. It is seriously felt that the whole house can be thrown out of shape even by a child's step upon the threshold. Not only that, but the child must learn not to step or to sit where the floor mats join one another. Floor mats are of standard size and rooms are known as ‘three-mat rooms' or ‘twelve-mat rooms.' Where these mats join, children are often told, the samurai of old times used to thrust their swords up from below the house and pierce the occupants of the room. Only the thick soft floor mats provide safety; even the cracks where they meet are dangerous. The mother puts feelings of this sort into the constant admonitions she uses to the baby: ‘Dangerous' and ‘Bad.' The third usual admonition is ‘Dirty.' The neatness and cleanness of the Japanese house is proverbial and the baby is admonished to respect it.

在日本家庭里，孩子一会走路，便可能会做出种种恶作剧。譬如，用手指戳破纸糊拉门，或者掉进留在地板正中的地炉里。还不仅限于此。日本人会言过其实地说，房子都会给他搞坏的。脚踩在门槛上是绝对禁止的，说是“危险”。日本人房屋不修地下室，是用地板的棱木从地面上支撑起来的。他们正正经经地认为，虽说是小孩子，踩在门槛上，也会使整个房子歪斜的。不仅如此，孩子还要记住不得踩在或者坐在草席之间的接缝处。草席子有一定的大小，房间称为“三铺席房间”或者“十二铺席房间”。草席接缝处是危险的。孩子们经常听到在古时候武士藏在地板下，用刀子顺着草席缝捅上去将房间里的人刺死的故事。只有厚而柔软的草席子才能保证安全。在母亲常用以训斥幼儿的“危险”、“不行”之类的语言里，就包含着这种感情。第三个常用的训斥的词汇是“脏”，日本人家庭素以整齐清洁闻名，所以也教育幼儿重视这一点。

Most Japanese children are not weaned till shortly before a new baby is bom, but the government's Mother's Magazine has in late years approved of weaning the baby at eight months. Middle-class mothers often do this, but it is far from being the common custom in Japan. True to the Japanese feeling that nursing is a great pleasure to the mother, those circles which are gradually adopting the custom regard the shorter nursing period as a mother's sacrifice to the welfare of her child. When they accept the new dictum that ‘the child who nurses long is weak,' they blame the mother for her self-indulgence if she has not weaned her baby. ‘She says she can't wean her baby. It's only that she hasn't made up her own mind. She wants to go on. She is getting the better part.' With such an attitude, it is quite understandable that eight-month weaning has not become widespread. There is a practical reason also for late weaning. The Japanese do not have a tradition of special foods for a just-weaned baby. If he is weaned young, he is fed the water in which rice has been boiled, but ordinarily he passes directly from his mother's milk to the usual adult fare. Cow's milk is not included in Japanese diet and they do not prepare special vegetables for children. Under the circumstances there is a reasonable doubt whether the government is correct in teaching that ‘the child who nurses long is weak.'

日本的孩子，通常要到下一个孩子出生后才断奶。不过近来政府发行的《母子手册》杂志主张，婴儿出生后八个月断奶最为合适，中产阶级的母亲有人是这样办的。但是，要成为日本人普遍的习惯还相距甚远。喂奶是日本妇女作为母亲的一大乐趣，逐步接受这种习惯的人们认为缩短哺乳期是母亲为了孩子的幸福所作的牺牲。赞同“孩子长期吃奶身体弱”这一新论点的人们，责备不给孩子断奶的母亲缺乏自制力。“她说什么孩子断不了奶，其实还不是她自己没有决心！她想一直给孩子喂奶。只顾自己快乐！”因为持这种态度，所以八个月断奶的习惯自然难以普及。另外，断奶晚还有一个原因是日本人没人为断奶后的幼儿预备特别食物的习惯。断奶早的婴儿喂米汤，大多数从母乳一步便飞跃到食用普通大人的食物上，日本人的饮食中不包括牛奶。他们也不准备给幼儿吃特别的蔬菜。正因为有这种实际的情况，所以自然有人会怀疑政府宣传的“长期吃奶的孩子身体软弱”究竟是否正确。

Children are usually weaned after they can understand what is said to them. They have sat in their mother's lap at the family table during meals and been fed bits of the food; now they eat more of it. Some children are feeding problems at this time, and this is easy to understand when they are weaned because of the birth of a new baby. Mothers often offer them sweets to buy them off from begging to nurse. Sometimes a mother will put pepper on her nipples. But all mothers tease them by telling them they are proving that they are mere babies if they want to nurse. ‘Look at your little cousin. He's a man. He's little like you and he doesn't ask to nurse.' ‘That little boy is laughing at you because you're a boy and you still want to nurse.' Two-, three-, and four-year-old children who are still demanding their mother's breast will often drop it and feign indifference when an older child is heard approaching.

孩子通常在能听懂大人话之后才断奶。在这之前，每吃饭前，母亲把他抱在膝上，坐在一家饭桌旁，一点点地往他嘴里喂食物，这样断奶后，他的饭量会大起来。在这个时期。有的孩子非常不愿吃母奶以外的食物，使大人伤脑筋。因为下一个孩子已经生下，到了非断奶不可的时候了，所以很容易理解。这时，母亲常常买来糕点哄他，不让他缠着要奶吃；有时也有的母亲在乳头上涂胡椒。但是，不论哪个母亲，惯用的手法就是嘲笑婴儿，说他要奶吃，证明他还是个小娃娃。“你看人家某某，真成大人了，人家和你一般大，可人家不要奶吃！”“哎呀！你看看弟弟都笑话你啦！都当哥哥了。还要奶吃呢！”不论两岁、三岁还是四岁，缠着要吃奶的孩子，常常一听到大孩子走近的脚步声便匆忙离开乳房，装出一副若无其事的样子。

This teasing, this urging a child toward adulthood, is not confined to weaning. From the time the child can understand what is said to it, these techniques are common in any situation. A mother will say to her boy baby when he cries, ‘You're not a girl,' or ‘You're a man.' Or she will say, ‘Look at that baby. He doesn't cry.' When another baby is brought to visit, she will fondle the visitor in her own child's presence and say, ‘I'm going to adopt this baby. I want such a nice, good child. You don't act your age.' Her own child throws itself upon her, often pommeling her with its fists, and cries, ‘No, no, we don't want any other baby. I'll do what you say.' When the child of one or two has been noisy or has failed to be prompt about something, the mother will say to a man visitor, ‘Will you take this child away? We don't want it.' The visitor acts out his r?le. He starts to take the child out of the house. The baby screams and calls upon its mother to rescue it. He has a full-sized tantrum. When she thinks the teasing has worked, she relents and takes back the child, exacting its frenzied promise to be good. The little play is acted out sometimes with children who are as old as five and six.

这样嘲笑孩子，催促他早些成人，不只限于断奶的时候，在孩子能理解大人讲话的意思之后，这一手法在所有场合都常使用。男孩哭了，母亲会对他说：“你可不是小姑娘啊！你可是个男孩啊！”或者说：“哎，你看看那孩子，人家都不哭。”有客人带着孩子来玩时母亲便当着自己孩子的面，故意十分疼爱外来的孩子，并说：“妈妈要把这个娃娃要过来，妈妈就喜欢这样聪明听话的好孩子。你都这么大了，还净干蠢事！”这样一来，这个母亲的孩子便会扑到母亲面前，有时还用小拳头使劲捶打着妈妈，笑着说：“我可不让，我可不让，我不让你喜欢别人，我听妈妈的话就是了。”当着一两岁的幼儿吵吵嚷嚷，或者不老实听话时，母亲又会对着来客说：“你把这孩子领走吧！我们家不要这样的孩子。”客人也就顺水推舟帮着演这出戏，真要把孩子往外领，孩子哭喊着向母亲求救，简直像发了疯似的。母亲看到这个玩笑已经达到预期的目的，便又缓和了态度，把孩子拉回自己怀里，让还在抽抽搭搭地哭个不停的孩子发誓今后老老实实听话。这种小闹剧有时对五六岁的孩子也演。

Teasing takes another form too. The mother will turn to her husband and say to the child, ‘I like your father better than you. He is a nice man.' The child gives full expression to his jealousy and tries to break in between his father and mother. His mother says, ‘Your father doesn't shout around the house and run around the rooms.' ‘No, no,' the child protests, ‘I won't either. I am good. Now do you love me?' When the play has gone on long enough, the father and mother look at one another and smile. They may tease a young daughter in this way as well as a young son.

有时，嘲弄还采取另外的形式，母亲走到丈夫身旁对孩子说：“我喜欢你爸爸，不喜欢你，因为爸爸乖！”孩子嫉妒便想挤进父亲和母亲之间。母亲说：“爸爸可不像你那样，在家里又吵又闹，在房间里到处乱跑。”这时孩子急忙说：“骗人，骗人！我也没那么干，我是个好孩子！妈妈，你喜欢我是不是啊？”父母看到戏演到这种地步便相视一笑，他们不仅对男孩，有时也这样嘲笑女孩。

Such experiences are rich soil for the fear of ridicule and of ostracism which is so marked in the Japanese grown-up. It is impossible to say how soon little children understand that they are being made game of by this teasing, but understand it they do sooner or later, and when they do, the sense of being laughed at fuses with the panic of the child threatened with loss of all that is safe and familiar. When he is a grown man, being laughed at retains this childhood aura.

成年的日本人都承认有这种经验，它成了培养孩子惧怕嘲笑和嫌弃的肥沃土壤。无法断定幼儿究竟长到几岁才能明白自己是在受嘲弄，但是，他总有一天会弄明白的。这样一来，自己受到嘲弄的意识便会同严重担心失去一切安全的、熟悉的东西的恐惧汇为一体。即使在长大成人后，受到别人嘲弄时，幼儿时期的这种恐惧也会残留在脑海里。

The panic such teasing occasions in the two- to five-year-old child is the greater because home is really a haven of safety and indulgence. Division of labor, both physical and emotional, is so complete between his father and mother that they are seldom presented to him as competitors. His mother or his grandmother runs the household and admonishes the child. They both serve his father on their knees and put him in the position of honor. The order of precedence in the home hierarchy is clear-cut. The child has learned the prerogatives of elder generations, of a male as compared with a female, of elder brother as compared with younger brother. But at this period of his life a child is indulged in all these relationships. This is strikingly true if he is a boy. For both girls and boys alike the mother is the source of constant and extreme gratifications, but in the case of a three-year-old boy he can gratify against her even his furious anger. He may never manifest any aggression toward his father, but all that he felt when he was teased by his parents and his resentments against being ‘given away' can be expressed in tantrums directed against his mother and his grandmother. Not all little boys, of course, have these tantrums, but in both villages and upper-class homes they are looked upon as an ordinary part of child life between three and six. The baby pommels his mother, screams, and, as his final violence, tears down her precious hair-do. His mother is a woman and even at three years old he is securely male. He can gratify even his aggressions.

这种嘲弄能在两岁至五岁的幼儿心灵里引起如此严重的危机，是因为家庭是真正保证安全，允许孩子我行我素的安身场所。父亲和母亲不论在肉体上还是感情上，都实行严格的分工，父母很少作为竞争者让孩子看见。母亲或祖母负责家务和教育孩子，母亲和祖母都鞠躬尽瘁地侍奉父亲，崇敬父亲。家庭等级制的席次规定的十分明确，孩子已经懂得：年长者享有特权。但是，孩子在幼儿期，全家人待他都很宽容，特别是男孩子就更是如此。不论是对男孩还是女孩，不论是什么时候也不管什么事情，母亲总是满足他们的要求。三岁的男孩子甚至可以将自己的满腔怒火尽情发泄在母亲身上。他不敢对父亲表示反抗，但对母亲和祖母却可以大动肝火，他可以将受到父母嘲弄时感受到的一切，以及对于别人说要“把他送人”的积愤发泄出来。当然，并不是所有年幼的男孩都性情暴躁，但是，在农村、在上流阶级的家庭里，暴躁被看做是三岁到六岁孩子的通病。幼儿一个劲地用拳头打母亲，大哭大闹，粗暴到极点，将母亲梳得整整齐齐的头发弄得乱七八糟。因为母亲是女人，他虽然只有三岁，却无疑是个男子。他甚至可以随心所欲地攻击母亲。

To his father he may show only respect. His father is the great exemplar to the child of high hierarchal position, and, in the constantly used Japanese phrase, the child must learn to express the proper respect to him ‘for training.' He is less of a disciplinarian than in almost any Western nation. Discipline of the children is in the woman's hands. A simple silent stare or a short admonition is usually all the indication of his wishes he gives to his little children, and these are rare enough to be quickly complied with. He may make toys for his children in his free hours. He carries them about on occasion long after they can walk—as the mother does too—and for his children of this age he casually assumes nursery duties which an American father ordinarily leaves to his wife.

对于父亲，孩子只是采取恭敬的态度。父亲对孩子来说，是代表高层地位的典范，借用日语常用的表现方法来说，孩子必须“作为一种教养”学会适合向父亲表示敬意的方法。父亲比起西方任何国家的父亲都更少干预子女的教育，将对孩子的教育，完全交给母亲去做。只有在父亲要向幼儿表示自己意思的时候，才一声不响地瞪他一眼，或者简单地训导几句。由于这种情况极少发生，所以孩子立即言听计从。在孩子学会走路之后，父亲有时也抱起孩子或者背上孩子到处走走（这一点母亲也一样）。有时为了这种年龄的孩子，父亲也会去承担美国的父亲通常要交给母亲去做的有关育儿上的工作。

Children have great freedom with their grandparents, though they are also objects of respect. Grandparents are not cast in the role of disciplinarians. They may take that role when they object to the laxness of the children's upbringing, and this is the occasion of a good deal of friction. The child's grandmother is usually at hand twenty-four hours of the day, and the rivalry for the children between father's mother and mother is proverbial in Japanese homes. From the child's point of view he is courted by both of them. From the grandmother's point of view, she often uses him in her domination of her daughter-in-law. The young mother has no greater obligation in life than satisfying her mother-in-law and she cannot protest, however much the grandparents may spoil her children. Grandmother gives them candies after Mother has said they should not have any more, and says pointedly, ‘My candies aren't poison.' Grandmother in many households can make the children presents which Mother cannot manage to get them and has more leisure to devote to the children's amusements.

孩子对于祖父母，行动可以恣意任性，当然祖父母同时也是受尊敬的对象。但是祖父母不承担教育孩子的任务。当然，在祖父母对父母教育子女不当发急时，也不是不可以自己把这项工作担当起来，但这会成为挑起严重冲突的原因。祖母通常一天到晚在孩子身边，而且祖母和母亲之间围绕着孩子的竞争，在日本家庭里极为普遍。从孩子的立场来说，要讨好双方；从祖母的立场说，她为了压制住媳妇，常常利用孙子；作为孩子母亲的媳妇，能够讨得婆婆欢心，是人生最大的义务；因此，不论祖父母怎样娇惯孩子，也不得提出异议。祖母常常在母亲刚说完“不再给了”之后，马上又给孩子点心吃，还冷言冷语地说：“奶奶给的点心可吃不坏人！”在许多家庭里，孩子从母亲手里得不到的东西，会由祖母给他，而且由于祖母比母亲空闲，可以多和他在一起玩。

The older brothers and sisters are also taught to indulge the younger children. The Japanese are quite aware of the danger of what we call the baby's ‘nose being put out of joint' when the next baby is bom. The dispossessed child can easily associate with the new baby the fact that he has had to give up his mother's breast and his mother's bed to the newcomer. Before the new baby is born the mother tells the child that now he will have a real live doll and not just a ‘pretend' baby. He is told that he can sleep now with his father instead of his mother, and this is pictured as a privilege. The children are drawn into preparations for the new baby. The children are usually genuinely excited and pleased by the new baby but lapses occur and are regarded as thoroughly expectable and not as particularly threatening. The dispossessed child may pick up the baby and start off with it, saying to his mother, ‘We'll give this baby away.' ‘No,' she answers, ‘it's our baby. See, we'll be good to it. It likes you. We need you to help with the baby.' The little scene sometimes recurs over a considerable time but mothers seem to worry little about it. One provision for the situation occurs automatically in large families: the alternate children are united by closer ties. The oldest child will be favored nurse and protector of the third child and the second child of the fourth. The younger children reciprocate. Until children are seven or eight, what sex the children are generally makes little difference in this arrangement.

当哥哥、姐姐的还会被教育要宠爱弟弟妹妹。日本人十分清楚，下一个孩子出生后，幼儿就有可能陷入我们所谓的“受挫”（被人从自己以往所占的位置挤下来）的状态的危险。受到排挤的幼儿很容易将新生的婴儿和自己因为这位新来的人不得不离开母亲的乳汁、被窝这件事联系在一起。在新生儿出生前，母亲告诉孩子，这回宝宝就会有个真的“活”娃娃了，再也不是假的了。还告诉他：“今后宝宝就不再和妈妈睡在一起了，你可以和爸爸睡了。”仿佛这是他得到的什么特权似的。孩子对于为新生婴儿所做的种种准备很感兴趣。通常在新生婴儿出生时，心里会感到兴奋、喜悦，但是，这种感情不久便会凉下来。不过，这是充分估计到的，无须过多地忧虑。被排挤的孩子想把婴儿抱起来送到别处去，并且央求母亲说：“把这个娃娃送人好吗？”母亲回答说：“不行，这是咱家的娃娃，大家都该喜欢他才对啊！娃娃可喜欢宝宝呢！宝宝也帮着照看娃娃吧！”有时这种小小的争论会反复多次，持续相当长的时间。但是，母亲并不把它放在心上。在多子女家庭，解救这种状态的对策，便应运而生了。这就是让孩子们一个隔一个地用特别亲密的纽带连接起来。老大要成为老三、老二要成为老四的最喜欢的看护人和保护者。弟妹们也爱隔着一个与上面的哥哥姐姐亲近。在孩子长到七八岁之前，孩子们男女之间的差别，对这一安排几乎不产生任何影响。

All Japanese children have toys. Fathers and mothers and all the circle of friends and relatives make or buy dolls and all their appurtenances for the children, and among poorer people they cost practically nothing. Little children play housekeeping, weddings, and festivals with them, after arguing out just what the ‘right' grown-up procedures are, and sometimes submitting to mother a disputed point. When there are quarrels, it is likely that the mother will invoke noblesse oblige and ask the older child to give in to the younger one. The common phrase is, ‘Why not lose to win?' She means, and the three-year-old quickly comes to understand her, that if the older child gives up his toy to the younger one the baby will soon be satisfied and turn to something else; then the admonished child will have won his toy back even though he relinquished it. Or she means that by accepting an unpopular role in the master-servants game the children are proposing, he will nevertheless ‘win' the fun they can have. ‘To lose to win' becomes a sequence greatly respected in Japanese life even when people are grown-up.

日本孩子们都有玩具。父母和许多亲戚朋友，都为孩子亲手制作或者购买娃娃以及附属于娃娃的一切物品。穷人们之间都不花钱来买玩具。幼儿们经常用娃娃及其他玩具过家家、娶媳妇或者搞祭祀玩。在开始玩之前，要彻底弄明白，怎么干才是正确的“大人”的做法。有时，意见统一不起来，须拿到母亲那里，请母亲裁决。遇到吵架的时候，母亲常常讲位高德重的道理，教育大孩子听小孩子的话。这时常用的一句话是：“让人不吃亏，你就该让着小孩子啊！”母亲话里的意思，三岁的孩子也能马上理解，大孩子将自己的玩具让给小的玩，小的不多时就会玩腻，心又跑到别的东西上。这样，听母亲话的孩子又能把自己一度让出去的玩具拿回来。母亲的话还意味着，今后在同小孩子玩主人和奴仆的游戏时，即使当了不体面的角色，由于大家玩得痛快，自己也能从中得到乐趣，所以，也不是吃亏。“让人不吃亏”这一伦理，在成人之后，仍然是日本人生活中十分受到尊重的伦理。

Besides the techniques of admonition and teasing, distracting the child and turning his mind away from its object has an honored place in child-rearing. Even the constant giving of candies is generally thought of as part of the technique of distraction. As the child gets nearer to school age techniques of ‘curing' are used. If a little boy has tantrums or is disobedient or noisy his mother may take him to a Shinto or Buddhist shrine. The mother's attitude is, ‘We will go to get help.' It is often quite a jaunt and the curing priest talks seriously with the boy, asking his day of birth and his troubles. He retires to pray and comes back to pronounce the cure, sometimes removing the naughtiness in the form of a worm or an insect. He purifies him and sends him home freed. ‘It lasts for a while,' Japanese say. Even the most severe punishment Japanese children ever get is regarded as ‘medicine.' This is the burning of a little cone of powder, the moxa, upon the child's skin. It leaves a lifelong scar. Cauterization by moxa is an old, widespread Eastern Asiatic medicine, and it was traditionally used to cure many aches and pains in Japan too. It can also cure tantrums and obstinacy. A little boy of six or seven may be ‘cured' in this way by his mother or his grandmother. It may even be used twice in a difficult case but very seldom indeed is a child given the moxa treatment for naughtiness a third time. It is not a punishment in the sense that ‘I'll spank you if you do that' is a punishment. But it hurts far worse than spanking, and the child learns that he cannot be naughty with impunity.

在子女教育中，除训斥和嘲弄手段外，促使孩子分散精力，将注意力从目的物转移到别的方面，这种方法也占有十分重要的地位。日本人不分时间给孩子糖果，一般认为就是转移注意力手段的一部分。孩子在快到入学年龄时，还利用种种“治疗”的方法。幼儿脾气大，不爱听话或者吵闹没有法子时，母亲便把他领到神社或寺庙去。母亲采取的态度是：“走，咱们一块儿去，让人家给你治一治。”而且，多像是去进行愉快的野游。出面治病的神官或僧侣，严肃地同孩子谈话，问孩子生日和毛病。然后，退到后面祈祷，不多时返回来，便说病已经治好了。有时孩子调皮，便说是有虫子，取出虫子来就会老实的。他给孩子拔除不祥，让孩子从疾病中解放出来后回家。日本人说，使用这种方法“一时有效”。就连日本孩子受到最严厉的惩罚，也被当成了“药”。这就是在孩子皮肤上将干艾粉末堆成小圆锥形，然后用火点燃。其痕迹终生不掉。艾灸自古以来就是东亚一带广泛应用的一种疗法。在日本传统上也用以治疗种种疾病。有些疑难病症有时要进行两次，但为治好孩子的顽皮，极少见到有灸三次的。艾灸不同于在美国常说的：“你再那样干，就要扇耳光了！”并不是一种惩罚。但是，其疼痛程度却是打耳光所无法比拟的。而且孩子会领悟到，要淘气就一定会受到处罚。

Besides these means of dealing with obstreperous children, there are conventions for teaching necessary physical skills. There is great emphasis on the instructor's putting children with his own hands physically through the motions. The child should be passive. Before the child is two years old, the father folds its legs for it in the correct sitting position, legs folded back and instep to the floor. The child finds it difficult at first not to fall over backward, especially since an indispensable part of the sitting training is the emphasis on immobility. He must not fidget or shift position. The way to learn, they say, is to relax and be passive, and this passivity is underscored by the father's placing of his legs. Sitting is not the only physical position to be learned. There is also sleeping. Modesty in a woman's sleeping position is as strong in Japan as modesty about being seen naked is in the United States. Though the Japanese did not feel shame in nudity in the bath until the government tried to introduce it during their campaign to win the approval of foreigners, their feeling about sleeping positions is very strong. The girl child must learn to sleep straight with her legs together, though the boy has greater freedom. It is one of the first rules which separate the training of boys and girls. Like almost all other requirements in Japan, it is stricter in upper classes than in lower, and Mrs. Sugimoto says of her own samurai upbringing: ‘From the time I can remember I was always careful about lying quiet on my little wooden pillow at night . . . Samurai daughters were taught never to lose control of mind or body—even in sleep. Boys might stretch themselves into the character dai, carelessly outspread; but girls must curve into the modest, dignified character kinoji, which means “spirit of control.”* Women have told me how their mothers or nurses arranged their limbs for them when they put them to bed at night.

对付顽皮的孩子，除上述手段外，还有种种教授必要的身体技能的习惯。这时，施教者特别注意亲手把着孩子的身体，让他做动作。孩子必须任其摆布。孩子在两岁之前，父亲就将他的脚扭弯过来，让其采取端坐——膝盖弯曲、脚面向着地板的坐法——的姿势。对孩子来说，最初要做到不后仰很不容易。特别是由于一再强调，学好端坐的不可缺少的要素，是身体不允许乱动，就更感到难受了。他不能踌躇不定，或者采取随便的姿势。日本人说，学会端坐的方法，是身体要自然，不能用劲，要处于被动状态。由于父亲会把孩子的脚摆到正确的位置上，就使这种被动性得到了进一步加强。必须学会的姿势，不只是坐法，还有睡觉的姿势。日本妇女非常注意睡相，就像美国妇女为自己祼露的身体被人看见感到害羞一样。日本政府为了争取外国人承认，曾大肆宣传要以裸浴为耻，而在此之前，对于祼体入浴时被人看见，日本人丝毫也不感到羞耻。但是，让人看到睡相，却十分难为情。男孩子不论怎么睡都没有关系，女孩子睡觉时必须两足并齐，身体伸直。这是训练男女有别的早期规则之一。正如日本其他几乎所有要求那样，这一要求同样也是上流阶级严于下层阶级。杉本夫人（钺子）就自己经历过的武士家庭的教育，有下面一段记述：“自从懂事以来，我时常注意晚上沉静地睡在小木枕上。武士家的姑娘受到的教育是，不论在什么场合，即使是睡觉的时候，也必须身心不乱。男孩睡觉时手脚大张大开、呈‘大’字形也妨，可是女孩睡觉时必须呈文雅的弓形，弯曲着身子。这表明她有‘自制精神’。”引自稻垣（杉本）钺子：《一个武士的女儿》，道布尔戴出版社，1926年，第15、24页。我听日本妇女们说，她们晚上睡觉时，她们的母亲或奶妈，都要将她们的手脚摆齐。

In the traditional teaching of writing, too, the instructor took the child's hand and made the ideographs. It was ‘to give him the feel.' The child learned to experience the controlled, rhythmic movements before he could recognize the characters, much less write them. In modern mass education this method of teaching is less pronounced but it still occurs. The bow, the handling of chopsticks, shooting an arrow, or tying a pillow on the back in lieu of a baby may all be taught by moving the child's hands and physically placing his body in the correct position.

在教授传统的书法时，老师要拿着孩子的手写字，这是“为了让孩子体会到触感”。孩子在他别说写字、连念都不会念的时候，就感受到了有管制的、有节奏的手的运笔方法。自从现代同时教授许多学生以来，这种教授方法虽已不如以前那样突出，但也时常这样做。譬如鞠躬、用筷子、射箭以及在背上系上枕头代替婴儿的背孩子的方法等，这一切都是手把着手或者移动着孩子的身体教会他如何采取正确姿势的。

Except among the upper classes children do not wait to go to school before they play freely with other children of the neighborhood. In the villages they form little play gangs before they are three and even in towns and cities they play with startling freedom in and out of vehicles in the crowded streets. They are privileged beings. They hang around the shops listening to grown-ups, or play hopscotch or handball. They gather for play at the village shrine, safe in the protection of its patron spirit. Girls and boys play together until they go to school, and for two or three years after, but closest ties are likely to be between children of the same sex and especially between children of the same chronological age. These age-groups (donen), especially in the villages, are lifelong and survive all others. In the village of Suye Mura, ‘as sexual interests decrease parties of donen are the true pleasures left in life. Suye (the village) says, “Donen are closer than a wife.”'*

除上流阶级的孩子外，他们在上学之前都和邻居的孩子自由自在地在一起玩耍。在村子里，孩子不到三岁便有了自己玩耍的小伙伴。在村镇和城市里，孩子们不管有无汽车通过，在行人熙攘的街头自由奔放地玩耍，让人在一旁看了甚至要捏一把汗。他们是享受特权的人。他们可以盘桓在店前听大人们站着聊天，或者跳房子、踢皮球玩。他们可以聚集在村子的神社里，在神的保护下安全地嬉戏。在上学前后的两三年时间里，男孩可以和女孩一起玩耍。但是，同性的孩子或者同龄的孩子之间，交往最为密切。这种同龄人的团体比任何其他团体持续的时间都要长。在须惠村，“随着人们对性的兴趣的减退，同龄人的聚会便成了遗留在人生记忆中的最大乐趣。须惠村的人们说：‘同龄人之间的缘分胜过妻子。’”引自约翰·佛·安布雷：《须惠村》，第190页。

These pre-school children's gangs are very free with each other. Many of their games are unabashedly obscene from a Western point of view. The children know the facts of life both because of the freedom of grown-ups' conversation and because of the close quarters in which a Japanese family lives. Besides, their mothers ordinarily call attention to their children's genitals when they play with them and bathe them, certainly to those of their boy children. The Japanese do not condemn childish sexuality except when it is indulged in the wrong places and in wrong company. Masturbation is not regarded as dangerous. The children's gangs are also very free in hurling criticisms at each other—criticisms which in later life would be insults—and in boasting—boasts which would later be occasions of deep shame. ‘Children,' the Japanese say, their eyes smiling benignantly, ‘know no shame (haji).' They add, ‘That is why they are so happy.' It is the great gulf fixed between the little child and the adult, for to say of a grown person, ‘He knows no shame' is to say that he is lost to decency.

这种学龄前儿童的玩耍伙伴，相互之间是毫无顾忌的。他们的游戏，在西方人看来，有许多是不知廉耻的下流的。孩子们之所以具有有关性的知识，是因为大人们讲起下流话来满不在乎，而且还由于日本的家族在狭小的房间里一起生活。同时，母亲在带孩子洗澡时，往往一边和孩子嬉戏，一边谈起孩子的阴部，特别是男孩子的阴部。日本人对子女做性的游戏不责备，除去在不好的场所同不好的伙伴在一起时之外。对手淫也不认为是危险的。同时，孩子的玩伴可以互相非常不客气地讲坏话——如果成人，则认为是带有侮辱性的坏话，也可以互相自夸——如果是成人之后，会引起严重的耻辱感。日本人会面带微笑地说：“孩子不知道丢人。”并且还补充上一句：“所以才会那样幸福呢！”这正是幼儿与成年人之间的根本不同。因为倘若是对大人说：“那家伙不知道羞耻。”他就成了纯粹的无耻之徒了。

Children of this age criticize each other's homes and possessions and they boast especially about their fathers. ‘My father is stronger than yours,' ‘My father is smarter than yours' is common coin. They come to blows over their respective fathers. This kind of behavior seems to Americans hardly worth noting, but in Japan it is in great contrast to the conversation children hear all about them. Every adult's reference to his own home is phrased as ‘my wretched house' and to his neighbor's as ‘your august house'; every reference to his family, as ‘my miserable family,' and to his neighbor's as ‘your honorable family.' Japanese agree that for many years of childhood—from the time the children's play gangs form till the third year of elementary school, when the children are nine—they occupy themselves constantly with these individualistic claims. Sometimes it is, ‘I will play overlord and you'll be my retainers.' ‘No, I won't be a servant. I will be overlord.' Sometimes it is personal boasts and derogation of the others. ‘They are free to say whatever they want. As they get older they find that what they want isn't allowed, and then they wait till they're asked and they don't boast any more.'

这种年龄的孩子们常相互讨论对方的家庭和财产，尤其是爱夸耀自己的父亲。他们常用的口头禅是：“我爸比你爸棒！”“我爸比你爸聪明！”有时他们为了偏袒各自的父亲还会扭打起来。这样的行动，在美国人看来，可能是不足挂齿的。然而，在日本它却与孩子们从自己周围听到的话形成鲜明的对比。大人对自己要自信，对别人要尊敬。称自己家为“寒舍”，称别人家为“贵府”；称自己的家族为“寒舍一家”，称别人的家族为“府上一家”。日本人一致承认，在幼儿期的几年里——从孩子有了玩耍的小伙伴到小学三年级，也就是孩子九岁之前这几年——只知道以自己为中心。有时候，是以“我当老爷、你当仆人”、“不，我怎么能当仆人呢，我要当老爷”这种形式，有时候是采取夸耀自己、贬低别人的形式。“孩子可以信口讲话，随着年龄的增长，他们知道自己想讲的话不让讲了。于是，他们在别人问及之前，便不轻易发表自己的意见了，也不再自夸了”。

The child learns in the home his attitudes toward the supernatural. The priest does not ‘teach' him and generally a child's experiences with organized religion are on those occasions when he goes to a popular festival and, along with all others who attend, is sprinkled by the priest for purification. Some children are taken to Buddhist services, but usually this too occurs at festivals. The child's constant and most deep-seated experiences with religion are always the family observances that center around the Buddhist and the Shinto shrines in his own home. The more conspicuous is the Buddhist shrine with the family grave tablets before which are offered flowers, branches of a certain tree, and incense. Food offerings are placed there daily and the elders of the family announce all family events to the ancestors and bow daily before the shrine. In the evening little lamps are lighted there. It is quite common for people to say that they do not like to sleep away from home because they feel lost without these presences which preside over the house. The Shinto shrine is usually a simple shelf dominated by a charm from the temple of Ise. Other sorts of offerings may be presented here. Then too there is the Kitchen-god covered with soot in the kitchen, and a host of charms may be fastened on doors and walls. They are all protections and make home safe. In the villages the village shrine is similarly a safe place because benevolent gods protect it with their presence. Mothers like to have their children play there where it is safe. Nothing in the child's experience makes him fear the gods or shape his conduct to satisfy just or censorious gods. They should be graciously entertained in return for their benefits. They are not authoritarian.

孩子是在家庭里学习到对于超自然事物的态度的。神官和僧侣不“教育”孩子。孩子有组织地接触宗教，通常只是在偶尔去参加祭祀，与参拜者一起接受神主向他身上洒消灾除祸的圣水的时候。其中，有的孩子也被领去参加佛教的仪式，然而，这通常也是在举行特别祭祀的时候。孩子日常最根深蒂固的宗教经验，是平常在自己家里以佛坛和神龛为中心，举行的家庭祭拜。其中最引人注目的是，祭祀家族灵位的佛坛，前面摆着鲜花、某种树枝和香火。每天还要在那儿供上食物。家族中的年长者要向祖先报告家中发生的一切事件，而且每天都要在佛坛前低头祈祷。每当夜幕降临时，还点起一盏小灯。人们喜欢到外面去住宿，据说就是因为有这样一个无形的存在在注视着家庭，因而心里不安或者感到不舒服的缘故。神龛通常是祭祀伊势神宫神牌的简单的搁板，这里有时也放置各种供物。此外，在厨房里有沾满灰尘的灶神，有时在木板套窗和墙壁上还贴有许多神符。这些都是保护神，是负责保护家族平安的。村子里镇守神殿同样是安全的场所，因为它是由仁慈的神镇守的。母亲们喜欢让孩子在安全的神殿内游玩。在孩子们的经历中，没有一件事是让孩子害怕神的，也没有非要他使自己的行动符合于裁决或者监视人们的神的意志的。人们受到了神的恩惠，作为礼节应该恭恭敬敬地敬重神，但是，神并不随心所欲地滥用权力。

The serious business of fitting a boy into the circumspect patterns of adult Japanese life does not really begin till after he has been in school for two or three years. Up to that time he has been taught physical control, and when he was obstreperous, his naughtiness has been ‘cured' and his attention distracted. He has been unobtrusively admonished and he has been teased. But he has been allowed to be willful, even to the extent of using violence against his mother. His little ego has been fostered. Not much changes when he first goes to school. The first three grades are co-educational and the teacher, whether a man or a woman, pets the children and is one of them. More emphasis at home and in school, however, is laid on the dangers of getting into ‘embarrassing' situations. Children are still too young for ‘shame,' but they must be taught to avoid being ‘embarrassed.' The boy in the story who cried ‘Wolf, wolf' when there was no wolf, for instance, ‘fooled people. If you do anything of this kind, people do not trust you and that is an embarrassing fact.' Many Japanese say that it was their schoolmates who laughed at them first when they made mistakes—not their teachers or their parents. The job of their elders, indeed, is not, at this point, themselves to use ridicule on the children, but gradually to integrate the fact of ridicule with the moral lesson of living up to giri-to-the-world. Obligations which were, when the children were six, the loving devotion of a faithful dog—the story of the good dog's on, quoted earlier, is from the six-year-olds' reader—now gradually become a whole series of restraints. ‘If you do this, if you do that,' their elders say, ‘the world will laugh at you.' The rules are particularistic and situational and a great many of them concern what we should call etiquette. They require subordinating one's own will to the ever-increasing duties to neighbors, to family and to country. The child must restrain himself, he must recognize his indebtedness. He passes gradually to the status of a debtor who must walk circumspectly if he is ever to pay back what he owes.

真正开始使少年纳入日本成年人谨慎的生活模式的重大工作，是在孩子上学之后两三年。在此之前，孩子要学会控制住自己的身体。如果是难对付的淘气包，他的顽皮会得到“治疗”，他的主意会受到排遣，他会受到谆谆教诲或者嘲弄。但是，他可以我行我素，甚至可以对母亲动武，他的幼小的自我是受到助长的。开始进入学校的时候也没有多大变化。最初的三年是男女同校。而且，不论男老师还是女老师，都极爱孩子，热衷于成为他们中的一员。但是，在家庭或者学校里，对于涉足“为难”的事情的危险却比以前强调得越来越多了。虽然孩子年龄尚小，还不懂得“耻辱”，但是，也在教育他避免陷入使自己“为难”的境地。例如，在本来没有狼，却大喊“狼来了，狼来了”那个故事里的少年，“他欺骗了别人，假如你们也那样干，就不会再有人信任你们了，那就难办了”。许多日本人都说，在他们犯了错误时，最初嘲笑他们的，不是老师和父母，而是学校的同学。事实上，在这个时期年长者的工作，不是嘲笑孩子，而是把孩子受到别人嘲笑这一事实与行动必须符合社会上“情理”这一道德教训同步地结合起来。孩子到了六岁，以义犬尽忠献身的故事来宣扬的义务——前面引用过的那只令人佩服的犬报答主人“恩情”的故事在六岁儿童的读本中出现——逐渐变成了形形色色的约束。年长者告诉孩子：“如果你这样做^{(或者那样做)}，会遭到世人耻笑。”规则是各自独立的，因具体情况而定。而且，在我们看来，有许多是纯属礼节上的事情。这些规则，要求自己的意志服从逐渐增长的对邻居、家庭及国家的义务。孩子必须抑制自己，他必须承认自己负有债务，他慢慢地将自己放在了要想偿还债务，就必须谨慎小心地过日子这样一种债务人的地位上。

This change of status is communicated to the growing boy by a new and serious extension of the pattern of babyhood teasing. By the time he is eight or nine his family may in sober truth reject him. If his teacher reports that he has been disobedient or disrespectful and gives him a black mark in deportment, his family turn against him. If he is criticized for some mischief by the storekeeper, ‘the family name has been disgraced.' His family are a solid phalanx of accusation. Two Japanese I have known were told by their fathers before they were ten not to come home again and were too shamed to go to relatives. They had been punished by their teachers in the schoolroom. In both cases they lived in outhouses, where their mothers found them and finally arranged for their return. Boys in later elementary school are sometimes confined to the house for kinshin, ‘repentance,' and must occupy themselves with that Japanese obsession, the writing of diaries. In any case the family shows that now it looks upon the boy as their representative in the world and they proceed against him because he has incurred criticism. He has not lived up to his giri-to-the-world. He cannot look to his family for support. Nor can he look to his age group. His schoolmates ostracize him for offenses and he has to apologize and make promises before he is readmitted.

这种地位的变化，是通过将幼儿期那种逗弄的模式以新的而又严肃认真的形式扩大开来，向成长期的少年进行教育的。孩子到了八九岁，有时会受到家里人真正的排斥。老师汇报他不听话或者行为傲慢，操行评定不及格，家里的人就会不理睬他。商店的伙计说他干了某个恶作剧指责他，就等于“玷污了家庭的名誉”，全家人责难攻击的矛头会一起指向这个孩子。我熟识的两个日本人，他们在十岁以前，曾两次被父亲赶出家门，不许再跨进家门一步。他们嫌丢人，也无法到亲戚家去。就因为他们在教室里受到了老师的处罚。这两人都睡在库房里，后来被母亲发现，在母亲的说合下才总算回到了家里。小学高年级学生，有时被处以“不准登校”的处罚——即关在家里悔改错误，也就不得不埋头于已成为日本人固定观念的记日记这项工作。不论任何场合，家里人都采取将这一少年看做是他们在社会上的代表的态度。而且以少年遭到了世人的责难为由责备他，因为他违背了社会上的“情理”，他不能指望家里人会支持他，也不能指望同年的伙伴会支持他，他的同学、朋友会因他犯了过失不再理他。而且，如果他不认错痛改前非，便再也不和他做朋友。

‘It is worth emphasizing,' as Geoffrey Gorer says, ‘that the degree to which this is carried is very uncommon sociologically. In most societies where the extended family or other fractional social group is operative, the group will usually rally to protect one of its members who is under criticism or attack from members of other groups. Provided that the approval of one's own group is maintained, one can face the rest of the world with the assurance of full support in case of need or attack. In Japan however it appears that the reverse is the case; one is only sure of support from one's own group as long as approval is given by other groups; if outsiders disapprove or criticize, one's own group will turn against one and act as the punishing agents, until or unless the individual can force the other group to withdraw its criticism. By this mechanism the approval of the “outside world” takes on an importance probably unparalleled in any other society.'*

正如杰弗·格勒评论的那样：“值得特别提到的是，上述现象相当普遍。从社会学角度看，达到了极其少有的程度。在大家族制或其他部分的社会团体活动的社会里，大多数都是当某一团体的成员受到其他团体成员的责难和攻击时，这一团体通常会一致团结起来进行保护。只要自己继续得到团体承认，万一发生情况或受到攻击时，他确信自己会受到全面支持，因而可以对抗自己团体以外的任何人。然而，在日本则恰恰相反。就是说，他确信自己可以得到本团体支持的时候，只限于得到其他团体承认的时候。如果外部的人们认为他不好而指责他，那么在本人未使其他团体收回这种责备之前，或者只要未能使其收回，他所在的团体便会对他不予理睬，给他们惩罚。正因为有这种结构，所以‘外部世界’的承认带有其他任何社会都无与伦比的重要性。”引自杰弗里·格勒：《日本人性格的结构》（誊印本），国际研究学会，1943年，第27页。

The girl's training up to this point does not differ in kind from the boy's, however different in detail. She is more restrained than her brother in the home. More duties are put upon her—though the little boy too may be nursemaid—and she always gets the little end of the horn in matters of presents and attention. She does not have the characteristic boys' tantrums, either. But she has been wonderfully free for an Asiatic little girl. Dressed in bright reds, she has played in the streets with the boys, she has fought with them and often held up her own end. She, too, as a child ‘knew no shame.' Between six and nine she gradually learns her responsibilities to ‘the world' much as her brother does and by much the same experiences. At nine the school classes are divided into girls' and boys' sections, and boys make a great deal of their new male solidarity. They exclude girls and object to having people see them talking to them. Girls, too, are warned by their mothers that such association is improper. Girls at this age are said to become sullen and withdrawn and hard to teach. Japanese women have said that it is the end of ‘childish fun.' Childhood ends for girls in an exclusion. They have no path marked out for them now for many, many years but ‘to double jicho with jicho.' The lesson will go on and on, both when they are betrothed and when they are married.

对女孩的教育，在这个时期之前，本质上与男孩子没有什么两样，只在细枝末节上多少有些差异。女孩在家庭里受到的约束比哥哥、弟弟要多，要干的活也多（当然男孩有的也要照看婴儿）。而且，在领取物品，受到关心、器重的程度上，总要稍逊一筹。女孩不像男孩那么爱发脾气。但是，她作为亚洲的少女，却相当自由，达到令人吃惊的地步。她可以穿鲜红的衣裳，与男孩在一起玩耍，和男孩吵架。而且，总是不肯相让，非要坚持达到自己目的时才肯罢休。她在幼儿时期同样也“不知道害羞”，从六岁到九岁期间，她也大体上和哥哥、姐姐一样，有着大体相同的经验，逐渐懂得了对社会的“情理”。到了九岁，男女分班，男孩们开始重视新形成的男伙伴之间的团结。他们排斥女孩，不愿意让别人看到自己同女孩讲话，女孩也受到母亲的教育，不许她们同男孩交往。据说这个岁数的少女爱闹别扭，喜欢独自在一起，不易进行教育。日本妇女们说：这是“孩子气的淘气”的结束。女孩的幼年期以她们被排斥在男孩生活之外而告终。今后数年或者数十年，为她们规定好的道路只有一条，这就是“自重自重再自重”。这条教训将持续到她们订婚甚至出嫁之后。

Boys, however, have not yet, when they have learned jicho and giri-to-the-world, acquired all that is incumbent upon an adult Japanese male. ‘From the age of ten,' Japanese say, ‘he learns giri-to-his-name.' They mean of course that he learns that it is a virtue to resent insult. He must learn the rules too: when to close with the adversary and when to take indirect means to clear his honor. I do not think they mean that the boy has to learn the aggressiveness that the insult behavior implies; boys who have been allowed in early childhood so much aggressiveness toward their mothers and who have fought out with their age mates so many kinds of slurs and counterclaims, hardly have to learn to be aggressive when they are ten. But the code of giri-to-one's-name, when boys are included under its provisions in their teens, channels their aggressiveness into accepted forms and provides them with specified ways of dealing with it. As we have seen, the Japanese often turn this aggressiveness against themselves instead of using violence against others. Even school boys are no exception.

但是，男孩仅仅懂得“自重”和对社会的“情理”，还不等于全部掌握了日本的成年男子应该负担的义务。日本人说：“男孩子从十岁起就要懂得守护名誉。”他们的意思当然就是说孩子要明白为了名誉进行报复是一种美德。他还必须学会在什么情况下应该对敌人直接进攻，在什么情况下应该用间接的手段洗雪污名的规则。我并不认为日本人的意思是当受到侮辱时，男孩子必须学习攻击。少年们从小时候起就已经允许对母亲动武，通过与同龄伙伴的争论，对于如何对付形形色色的诽谤也有了一套办法，因此，没有必要在十岁之后再去学习攻击。爱护名声的章程，使少年在十岁以后接受这一条款的应用，同时将他们的攻击引导到一定的公认的模式上去，为他们提供处置这种情况的特定的方法。如前所述，日本人常常不对别人使用暴力，而是将这种攻击指向自己。儿童也不例外。

For those boys who continue their schooling beyond the six-year elementary school—some 15 per cent of the population, though the proportion in the male population is larger—the time when they are becoming responsible for giri-to-their-name falls when they are suddenly exposed to the fierce competition of middle-school entrance examinations and the competitive ranking of every student in every subject. There is no gradual experience which leads up to this, for competition is minimized almost to the vanishing point in elementary school and at home. The sudden new experience helps to make rivalry bitter and preoccupying. Competition for place and suspicion of favoritism are rife. This competition, however, does not figure so largely in the life stories as does the middle-school convention of older boys tormenting the lower classmen. The upper classes of middle-school order the younger classes about and put them through various kinds of hazing. They make them do silly and humiliating stunts. Resentments are extremely common, for Japanese boys do not take such things in a spirit of fun. A younger boy who has been made to grovel before an upper-classman and run servile errands hates his tormentor and plans revenge. The fact that the revenge has to be postponed makes it all the more absorbing. It is giri-to-his-name and he regards it as a virtue. Sometimes he is able, through family pull, to get the tormentor discharged from a job years later. Sometimes he perfects himself in jujitsu or sword play and publicly humiliates him on a city street after they have both left school. But unless he sometime evens the score he has that ‘feeling of something left undone' which is the core of the Japanese insult contest.

六年制小学毕业后，继续求学的少年——约占其人数的百分之十五，男孩比例略高一些——到他慢慢地懂得必须顾及名誉的时候，恰巧与突然遭遇的中学入学考试的激烈竞争以及在所有的课目上每个学生争夺名次的时期相一致。他们并不是在陆续积累经验的基础上去应付这一事态的。因为不论在小学还是家庭里，都尽可能地避免竞争，几乎不存在竞争。正因为是突然遭遇的完全崭新的事物，所以竞争异常激烈，令人放心不下。名次的竞争，以及猜疑某某格外受到垂青的现象特别盛行。但是，日本人在回忆往事时，谈论最多的不是这种竞争，而是中学里高年级学生欺侮低年级学生的习惯。中学高年级学生对低年级学生颐指气使，变着法儿欺侮他们。让他们做一些带有侮辱性的非常无聊的动作。低年级学生受到这种侮辱，十之八九会怀恨在心。因为少年决不会以闹着玩儿的心情接受这种侮辱的。他们在高年级学生面前受到在地上爬的侮辱，或者被指派去干一些低三下四的跑腿儿的工作，便仇恨欺侮自己的对方，要想法进行报复。越是不能马上报复，越是一心一意地想复仇。他们认为复仇是对名声的维护，并以此为德。有的在过了数年之后，才利用家庭的关系，设法使过去欺侮过自己的人从他们难得找到的职位上被解雇下来。还有的练就了柔道和剑术的本领，毕业后在闹市街头公然使对方丢丑。总之，早晚要进行报复，否则，便感到“有什么事情没有办完”。这种感情正是构成日本人报仇的核心。

For those boys who do not go on to middle school, the same kind of experience may come in their Army training. In peacetime one boy in four was drafted, and the hazing of first-year recruits by second-year recruits was even more extreme than in the middle and upper schools. It had nothing to do with officers in the Army, and only exceptionally even with non-commissioned officers. The first article of the Japanese code was that any appeal to officers caused one to lose face. It was fought out among the recruits. The officers accepted it as a method of ‘hardening' troops but they were not involved. Second-year men passed on to the first-years the resentments they had accumulated the year before and proved their ‘hardness' by their ingenuity in devising humiliations. The draftees have often been described as coming out of their Army training with changed personalities, as ‘true jingo nationalists,' but the change is not so much because they are taught any theory of the totalitarian state and certainly not because of any inculcation of chu to the Emperor. The experience of being put through humiliating stunts is much more important. Young men trained in family life in the Japanese manner and deadly serious about their amour-propre may easily become brutalized in such a situation. They cannot stand ridicule. What they interpret as rejection may make them good torturers in their turn.

不上中学的少年们，在军队教育中也有同样的体验。平时，每四名青年要有一人去当兵。而且，两年兵欺侮新兵，比起中学及其他更高的学校里欺侮低年级学生，更有过之而无不及。军官对此完全置之不理。甚至士官也只是在个别特例情况下才干预。日本人章法的第一条，你向长官报告会有损个人的面子，因此，只在士兵们中间解决。军官将此看作是“锻炼”士兵的一个方法，不加干涉。两年兵将自己前一年日积月累的种种宿怨又发泄在新兵身上，他们想出种种欺侮新兵的巧妙办法，以显示自己受到“锻炼”的程度。据说征集来的士兵受过军队教育后往往完全变成了另外一个人，成了“真正野蛮的国家主义者”。这一变化不是因为他们受到过极权主义国家理论的教育，而且也确实不是由于灌输了对天皇的“忠诚”，重要的原因是他们尝到过遭受屈辱的经验。在家庭生活中受过日本式教育的、对自尊特别珍惜的青年，一旦遇到这种情况，很容易丧失理性发作兽性。他们忍受不了愚弄。他们解释为排斥的这种事态，又将他们变成折磨他人的好手。

These modern Japanese situations in middle school and in the Army take their character, of course, from old Japanese customs about ridicule and insult. The middle and upper schools and the Army did not create the Japanese reaction to them. It is easy to see that the traditional code of giri-to-one's-name makes hazing practices rankle more bitterly in Japan than they do in America. It is also consistent with old patterns that the fact that each hazed group will pass on the punishment in time to a victim group does not prevent a boy's preoccupation with settling scores with his actual tormentor. Scapegoating is not the constantly recurring folkway in Japan that it is in many Western nations. In Poland, for instance, where new apprentices and even young harvesters are severely hazed, resentment is not vented against the hazers, but upon the next crop of apprentices and harvesters. Japanese boys will also have this satisfaction, of course, but they are primarily concerned with the immediate insult contest. The tormented ‘feel good' when they are able to settle scores with the tormentors.

不言而喻，在近代日本的中学和军队中常见的这种状态，起源于日本自古以来就有的嘲笑和侮辱他人的习惯。当然，日本人对这种事态的反应并不是中学、高等学校及军队创造的。在日本传统的维护名声的章法下，使得侮辱部下的习惯，远比美国更给人以巨大的痛苦，这是很容易理解的。同时，受到前辈欺侮的集团不久又会依次虐待下一批受害者。尽管如此，受欺侮的少年，一心想竭尽全力对实际上虐待自己的人进行报复，这也与昔日的形式相一致。将积愤转嫁给他人，这在西方许多国家是常见的风习，例如，在波兰新来的徒弟或农工受人虐待后，他并不朝着虐待他的人泄愤，而是发泄在下一批徒弟或农工身上。但是，日本却不然。日本的少年也会这样泄愤，但是，他首先关心的是，直接进行报复。受到欺侮的人只有对欺侮他的人报了仇的时候，才感到“痛快”。

In the reconstruction of Japan those leaders who have their country's future at heart would do well to pay particular attention to hazing and the custom of making boys do silly stunts in the post-adolescent schools and in the Army. They would do well to emphasize school spirit, even the ‘old school tie,' in order to break down the upper-under classmen distinctions. In the Army they would do well to forbid hazing. Even though the second-year recruits should insist on Spartan discipline in their relations with the first-years, as Japanese officers of all ranks did, such insistence is no insult in Japan. The hazing behavior is. If no older boy in school or Army could with impunity make a younger one wag his tail like a dog or perform like a cicada or stand on his head while the others ate, it would be a change more effective in the re-education of Japan than denials of the Emperor's divinity or elimination of nationalistic material from textbooks.

在重建日本之际，忧虑本国未来的领导者们，应该特别注意，对战前日本成年学校和军队里的虐待以及让少年做无聊的动作的习惯。为了消除高年级学生与低年级学生之间的差别，他们应该强调爱校精神和“难忘的同窗情谊”；在军队里也应禁止虐待新兵，虽然两年兵强迫新兵进行的斯巴达式的训练如同所有等级的日本军官曾经进行过的那样，在日本并不认为这种强制是侮辱。但是实际上虐待新兵就是侮辱。假如在学校或军队里发现年长的少年让年纪小的少年学狗摇尾巴、学蝉叫或者在别人吃饭时做倒立动作就一律给予处罚；那么它在日本的再教育方面，要比否定天皇的神化或者从教科书中删去国家主义的内容，更容易引起有效的变化。

Women do not learn the code of giri-to-one's-name and they do not have the modern experiences of boys' middle schools and Army training. Nor do they go through analogous experiences. Their life cycle is much more consistent than their brothers'. From their earliest memories they have been trained to accept the fact that boys get the precedence and the attention and the presents which are denied to them. The rule of life which they must honor denies them the privilege of overt self-assertion. Nevertheless, as babies and as little children, they have shared with their brothers the privileged life of little children in Japan. They have been specially dressed in bright reds as little girls, a color they will give up as adults until they are allowed it again when they reach their second privileged period at the age of sixty. In the home they may be courted like their brothers in the contest between mother and grandmother. Their brothers and sisters, too, demand that a sister, like any other member of the family, like them ‘best.' The children ask her to show her preference by letting them sleep with her, and she can often distribute her favors from the grandmothers to the two-year-old baby. Japanese do not like to sleep alone, and a child's pallet can be laid at night close up beside that of a chosen elder's. The proof that ‘you like me best' that day is very often that the beds of the two are pulled up close together. Girls are allowed compensations even at the period when they are excluded from boys' play groups at nine or ten. They are flattered by new kinds of hair-do, and at the age of fourteen to eighteen their coiffure is the most elaborate in Japan. They reach the age when they may wear silk instead of cotton and when every effort is made to provide them with clothes that enhance their charms. In these ways girls are given certain gratifications.

女孩不学习维护名声的规定，也不像男孩那样，曾有过中学和军队教育的近代的经验。她们也没有此类似的经验，她们的一生比起男孩子来变化要少得多。她们自懂事以来受到的教育便是一切都要男孩领先，承认男孩可以得到她们得不到的关照和礼品。虽然她们必须尊重的处世规则，不允许她们拥有公然坚持自己主张的特权，但是在婴儿和幼年时代，她们也和男孩一样，享受到了日本幼儿的特权生活的乐趣。特别是当她们还是年幼的少女的时候，可以穿鲜红的服装。长大成人后，这种颜色的服装直到年龄达到第二个特权时期即六十岁，才允许再穿。在家族里她们也和哥哥、弟弟一样，受到相互不和的母亲和祖母的逢迎讨好。同时，弟弟和妹妹也像对家里其他人一样央求姐姐对他们最亲。作为最亲密的标志，是求她同他们睡在一起。她还常常将祖母给的东西分给两岁的幼儿。日本人不喜欢一个人睡。晚上孩子的被褥要铺在自己喜欢的年长者的被窝旁。“某某和我最要好”的证据就是两人的被窝紧靠在一起。女孩子到了九岁或十岁，即使被男孩从他们一起玩耍的伙伴中排斥出来，也能得到某种补偿。她们求人梳出新的发型，暗自欢喜。在日本，从十四岁到十八岁姑娘的发型最讲究。这时，她们可以穿丝织品来代替棉布，即是说，已经到了尽一切努力穿起使容貌衬托得更美丽的服装的年龄。这样，女孩也得到了某种程度的满足。

The responsibility for the restraints that are required of them, too, is placed squarely upon them, and not vested in an arbitrarily authoritarian parent. Parents exercise their prerogatives not by corporal punishments but by their calm, unswerving expectation that the girl will live up to what is required of her. It is worthwhile quoting an extreme example of such training because it gives so well the kind of non-authoritarian pressure which is also characteristic of less strict and privileged upbringing. From the age of six little Etsu Inagaki was taught to memorize the Chinese classics by a learned Confucian scholar.

女孩必须服从各种各样的管束。但是履行这一义务的责任，恰恰在女孩自身而不在任意挥舞权力的父母手里。父母行使管教的权利，不是靠体罚孩子，而是靠着女儿能很好地遵照吩咐行事这样一种平静而又坚定的期望。下面举的虽然是反映这种教育方法的相当极端的例子，但很有参考价值。因为清楚地表明了比较宽容的、承认孩子特权的、具有子女教育特点的非权力主义的压力大体是一种什么性质的东西。年幼的稻垣钺子（杉本夫人的旧姓）从六岁起跟着一位学识渊博的儒学家学习中文经典。

Throughout my two-hour lesson he never moved the slightest fraction of an inch except for his hands and his lips. And I sat before him on the matting in an equally correct and unchanging position. Once I moved. It was in the midst of a lesson. For some reason I was restless and swayed my body slightly, allowing my folded knee to slip a trifle from the proper angle. The faintest shade of surprise crossed my instructor's face; then very quietly he closed his book, saying gently but with a stern air: ‘Little Miss, it is evident that your mental attitude today is not suited for study. You should retire to your room and meditate.' My little heart was almost killed with shame. There was nothing I could do. I humbly bowed to the picture of Confucius and then to my teacher, and, backing respectfully from the room, I slowly went to my father to report as I always did, at the close of my lesson. Father was surprised, as the time was not yet up, and his unconscious remark, ‘How quickly you have done your work!' was like a death knell. The memory of that moment hurts like a bruise to this very day.*

两小时学习时间，先生除了手和嘴唇之外，在那儿纹丝不动。我面朝着先生，和先生一样以正确的稳当的姿势端坐在草席之上。有一次，我身子动了一下。那是在学习中间，不知为什么我忍不住了，稍微挪动了一下身子，将弯曲的膝盖从正确的角度稍向旁边挪了一下。一缕惊奇的阴影从先生脸上掠过，然后他轻轻地合上书，以和蔼而不庄重的态度说：“小姐，今天好像学习不用心啊！回房间去好好想想吧！”我幼小的心灵，由于过分羞愧，几乎要昏过去。我无计可施，首先向着孔子肖像，接着又向先生深鞠一躬，然而恭恭敬敬地退出了那个房间。我战战兢兢地像平常学习结束后那样，去向父亲报告。因为尚未到时间，父亲吃了一惊，他若无其事地说：“学习结束的可真早啊！”这句话听来简直就像是宣告死期的丧钟。一想起当时的情景，我至今仍感到心中难受，如同伤痕还在隐隐作痛。稻垣（杉本）钺子：《一个武士的女儿》，道布尔戴出版社，1926年，第20页。

And Mrs. Sugimoto summarizes one of the most characteristic parental attitudes in Japan when she describes a grandmother in another context:

杉本夫人还在另外的地方写到祖母，其中将日本最具有特征的父母的态度之一作了简洁的描述。

Serenely she expected everyone to do as she approved; there was no scolding nor arguing, but her expectation, soft as silk floss and quite as strong, held her little family to the paths that seemed right to her.

祖母沉静而又从容地期望所有的人都能按照自己的愿望行事。她不申斥，也不议论。但是，祖母那如同丝棉般柔软而又非常强韧的期望，经常使她的小家族保持在她认为正确的轨道上。

One of the reasons why this ‘expectation, soft as silk floss and quite as strong,' can be so effective is that training is so explicit for every art and skill. It is the habit that is taught, not just the rules. Whether it is proper use of chopsticks in childhood or proper ways of entering a room, or is the tea ceremony or massage later in life, the movements are performed over and over literally under the hands of grownups till they are automatic. Adults do not consider that children will ‘pick up' the proper habits when the time to employ them comes around. Mrs. Sugimoto describes how she set her husband's table after she was betrothed at fourteen. She had never seen her future husband. He was in America and she was in Echigo, but over and over, under her mother's and her grandmother's eyes, ‘I myself cooked the food which Brother told us Matsuo especially liked. His table was placed next to mine and I arranged for it to be always served before my own. Thus I learned to be watchful for the comfort of my prospective husband. Grandmother and Mother always spoke as if Matsuo were present, and I was as careful of my dress and conduct as if he had really been in the room. Thus I grew to respect him and to respect my own position as his wife.'*

这一“如同丝棉般柔软而又非常强韧的期望”之所以能收到如此的效果，原因之一就是由于对各自的技术和本领进行了周到的训练。教授的是习惯，而不仅仅是规则。在幼儿期有关筷子的用法，进房间时的礼节以及稍后一些时候学习的茶道和按摩方法，一切动作都是在大人的亲手指导下，经过反复的实际演练，直到达到熟练时为止。大人并不认为孩子们到了需要用的时候，便能“自发地掌握”正确的习惯。杉本夫人说，她十四岁那年订婚后，曾为外出的丈夫供过饭食。在此之前，她未曾见过丈夫，丈夫在美国，她住在越后。尽管如此，她也许多次在母亲和祖母的监督下“亲手制作了听哥哥告诉我们的松雄最爱吃的饭菜。我把丈夫的饭菜放在自己饭菜旁边，而且总是先为丈夫盛饭。这样，我学会了怎样照顾未来的丈夫才能使他快乐。祖母和母亲说是以松雄就在眼前的口吻讲话，我也像丈夫实际上就在这个房间似的注意服饰和言谈举止。这样，我便逐渐地尊敬起丈夫，也尊敬起我自己作为他妻子的地位来”。同前，第92页。

A boy too receives careful habit training by example and imitation, though it is less intensive than the girl's. When he has ‘learned,' no alibi is accepted. After adolescence, however, he is left, in one important field of his life, largely to his own initiative. His elders do not teach him habits of courting. The home is a circle from which all overt amorous behavior is excluded, and the segregation of unrelated boys and girls has been extreme since he was nine or ten. The Japanese ideal is that his parents will arrange a marriage for him before he has really been interested in sex, and it is therefore desirable that a boy should be ‘shy' in his behavior with girls. In the villages there is a vast amount of teasing on the subject which often does keep boys ‘shy.' But boys try to learn. In the old days, and even recently in more isolated villages of Japan, many girls, sometimes the great majority, were pregnant before marriage. Such pre-marital experience was a ‘free area' not involved in the serious business of life. The parents were expected to arrange the marriages without reference to these affairs. But nowadays, as a Japanese said to Doctor Embree in Suye Mura, ‘Even a servant girl has enough education to know that she must keep her virginity.' Discipline for those boys who go to middle school, too, is sternly directed against any kind of association with the opposite sex. Japanese education and public opinion tries to prevent pre-marital familiarity between the sexes. In their movies, they reckon as ‘bad' those young men who show some signs of being at ease with a young woman; the ‘good' ones are those who, to American eyes, are brusque and even uncivil to an attractive girl. Being at ease with a girl means that these boys have ‘played around,' or have sought out geishas or prostitutes or café girls. The geisha house is the ‘best' way to learn because ‘she teaches you. A man can relax and just watch.' He need not be afraid of exhibiting clumsiness, and sex relations with the geisha girl are not expected of him. But not many Japanese boys can afford the geisha house. They can go to cafés and watch how men treat the girls familiarly, but such observation is not the kind of training they have learned to expect in other fields. Boys keep their fear of gaucherie for a long time. Sex is one of the few areas of their lives where they have to learn some new kind of behavior without the personal tutelage of accredited elders. Families of standing provide ‘bride books' and screens with many detailed pictures for the young couple when they marry, and, as one Japanese said, ‘You can learn from books, the way you learn the rules for making a garden. Your father doesn't teach you how to make a Japanese garden; it's a hobby you learn when you're older.' The juxtaposition of sex and gardening as two things you learn from books is interesting, even though most Japanese young men learn sex behavior in other ways. In any case, they do not learn through meticulous adult tutelage. This difference in training underscores for the young man the Japanese tenet that sex is an area removed from that serious business of life over which his elders preside and in which, they painstakingly train his habits. It is an area of self-gratification which he masters with much fear of embarrassment. The two areas have their different rules. After his marriage he may have sexual pleasures elsewhere without being in the least surreptitious about it, and in so doing he does not infringe upon his wife's rights nor threaten the stability of his marriage.

男孩也靠着实例和模仿，接受细微的习惯训练，当然，不像女孩那样严格。待他“学过”习惯后，一切托词就再也没有人接受了。但是，青春期以后，在他自己生活的一个重要的领域里，大部分却要依靠他自己的自发性。年长者不向他传授求爱的习惯，家庭是禁止公然表现性爱的一切行动的世界。而且，他到九岁或十岁以后，无亲缘关系的男孩儿与女孩儿之间实行严格的隔离。日本人的理想是在男孩尚未真正对性感兴趣之前便由父母为他定下婚姻大事。因而，希望男孩接触女孩的态度是内向的。在农村，由于对此有冷言冷语的习惯，少年多是内向的。尽管如此，少年仍在千方百计地学习。过去（甚至直到最近），在日本偏僻的农村，不少姑娘，有时甚至会大多数未婚先孕。这种结婚前的经验，不算在人生重大的工作部类里，是一种“自由的领域”。父母对此并不放在眼里，议亲时也不在乎这些事。但是今天，正如须惠村的日本人对安布雷博士们所说的那样，“就连当佣人的女子，都受过至少要知道必须保持处女贞洁的教育”。进入中学的少年受到的教育也是一样禁止同异性的交往，不管是任何种类的交往，日本的教育和舆论都努力防止两性间结婚前亲密的交往。从日本的电影里可以看出，他们认为对年轻女子态度过分亲昵的男青年是“不良青年”；“好”青年则对可爱的少女采取用美国的眼光看来冷淡甚至失礼的态度。对女人过分亲昵，说明这个青年有过“放荡的经验”，即尾随过艺妓、娼妇或咖啡馆的女人。到艺妓馆是学会情事的“最好”的方法，“艺妓会教给你一切，你可以悠然旁观”。他不必担心自己的笨拙会暴露在他人面前，也不指望会和艺妓结成性的关系。但是，在日本青年中去得起艺妓馆的人为数不多，许多青年是从咖啡馆里学来男人对女人调情的行为的。然而，这种观点与他们在其他领域自然要接受的训练种类不同。一般在很长的时间里，男孩害怕自己行为不轨。性行为是他们生活中极少数无需由值得信赖的长辈亲自教授而掌握的领域之一。注意礼仪的家庭，在年轻夫妇结婚时，给他们看《枕草子》以及详细描绘种种姿态的画卷。而且，正如一个日本人所说的，“他可以通过看书学会，与学会建造庭院规则的做法相同。父亲不教他建造日本式庭院的方法。它是年老后自己掌握的一种爱好”。将性行为与造园术二者都作为通过看书学会的内容放在一起，很有意思。当然，大多数日本青年男子都是通过书本以外的方法学会的。但是，二者都不是在大人无微不至的指导下学会的。这种训练上的差异，在青年心目中深刻地印下了日本人这样一个信条：性属于与由年长者指挥管辖、竭尽全力训练青年习惯的人生重要工作毫无关系的另外的领域，是青年大都怀着羞涩的恐惧逐渐精通的满足自己情欲的领域。这两个领域有着不同的章程。男子结婚后可以毫无顾忌地在其他地方享受性的欢乐，这样做并不侵害妻子的权利或者威胁结婚生活的安全。

His wife has not the same privilege. Her duty is faithfulness to her husband. She would have to be surreptitious. Even when she might be tempted, comparatively few women in Japan live their lives in sufficient privacy to carry off a love affair. Women who are regarded as nervous or unstable are said to have hysteri. ‘The most frequent difficulty of women involves not their social but their sexual lives. Many cases of insanity and most of hysteri (nervousness, instability) are clearly due to sexual maladjustments. A girl must take whatever her husband may give her of sexual satisfaction.'* Most women's diseases, the farmers say in Suye Mura, ‘begin in the womb' and then go to the head. When her husband looks elsewhere, she may have recourse to the accepted Japanese customs of masturbation, and, from the peasant villages to the homes of the great, women treasure traditional implements for this purpose. She is granted in the villages, moreover, certain exuberances in erotic behavior when she has borne a child. Before she is a mother, she would not make a sex joke, but afterward, and as she grows older, her conversation at a mixed party is full of them. She entertains the party, too, with very free sexual dances, jerking her hips back and forth to the accompaniment of ribald songs. ‘These performances invariably bring roars of laughter.' In Suye Mura, too, when recruits were welcomed back at the outskirts of the village after their Army training, women dressed as men and made obscene jokes and pretended to rape young girls.

妻子没有这种相同的特权，她的义务是对丈夫贞洁贤淑，倘若要和丈夫以外的男子私通，必须悄悄地不为他人发现。而且，即使受到诱惑，能够暗中过上与他人私通的生活的女性在日本也是比较少的。陷入神经过敏或者失去镇静的妇女被认为是“歇斯底里”。“妇女最常见的毛病，不在她的社会生活，而与性生活有关。许多精神失常病人和大多数的歇斯底里患者（神经过敏、失去镇静）显然是与缺乏性生活的和谐有关。女子必须对丈夫在性的方面所给予的感到满足”。须惠村的农民们说，妇女所患的疾病，大部分是“起源于子宫”，逐渐上升到脑子的。当丈夫热衷于其他女子，对自己全然不予置理的时候，妻子可以求助于日本人一般容许的手淫的习惯。而且下自农村、上至高贵的人们的家庭，都秘藏着妇女为达此目的制作的传统的工具。同时，在农村妻子生下孩子后，可以允许有相当自由奔放的色情的言行。在当母亲之前，一句也不许讲有关性的玩笑。可是当了母亲后，而且随着年龄的增长，在男女混杂的酒席桌上，她们的谈话常常夹杂着这类的笑话。她们还合着淫荡的小曲，前后扭动着身体，跳起非常露骨的性感的舞蹈助兴。“这种助兴，定能引起满堂的哄笑”。引自约翰·佛·安布雷：《须惠村》，第175页。在须惠村，每当征集走的士兵期满回村时，全村都要出动到村头迎接。这时，女扮男装的妇女们满口下流的玩笑话，还做出糟践年轻姑娘的动作。

Japanese women are therefore allowed certain kinds of freedom about sexual matters, the more, too, the lowerborn they are. They must observe many taboos during most of their lives but there is no taboo which requires them to deny that they know the facts of life. When it gratifies the men, they are obscene. Likewise, when it gratifies the men, they are asexual. When they are of ripe age, they may throw off taboos, and if they are low-born, be as ribald as any man. The Japanese aim at proper behavior for various ages and occasions rather than at consistent characters like the Occidental ‘pure woman' and the ‘hussy.'

这样，日本的妇女在有关性的问题上，也容许有某种自由，而且越是出身贫贱，这种自由越多。她们在自己一生大部分时间里，必须遵守许多的禁制，但是，没有一条禁制要求否定她们对性的精通。在男子喜欢的时候，她们会风流淫荡，也可以毫无风趣。女子到了春情正浓的年龄，可以抛掉禁制，如果是出身贫贱的女人，风流起来是不亚于男人。日本人并不希望以西方的“纯洁的女性”或“淫妇”这种一成不变的性格为目标，她仍以在不同的年龄、不同的场合采取相应的行动为目的。

The man also has his exuberances, as well as his areas where great restraint is required. Drinking in male company, especially with geisha attendants, is a gratification which he makes the most of. Japanese men enjoy being tipsy and there is no rule which bids a man carry his liquor well. They relax their formal postures when they have had a few thimblefuls of sake, and they like to lean against each other and be very familiar. They are seldom violent or aggressive when they are drunk, though a few ‘hard-to-get-along-with men' may get quarrelsome. Apart from such ‘free areas' as drinking, men should never be, as they say, unexpected. To speak of anyone, in the serious conduct of his life, as unexpected, is the nearest the Japanese come to a curse word except for the word ‘fool.'

男子也有必须小心谨慎的领域和可以无所顾忌的场合。和男性朋友同桌对饮，尤其是有艺妓在场作陪，这是男子最大的乐趣。日本人喜欢酗酒，而且没有不许酒后出丑这一章程。他们两三杯酒下肚后，便不再拘泥于刻板的姿势，随便宽坐起来。而且喜欢互相依靠在一起，非常亲昵随便。喝醉后，少数“不好共事的人”也许会寻衅闹事，但是除去这些人外，很少见到耍野蛮、找碴儿打架的情况。日本人说，除去饮酒这类“自由的领域”之外，人们决不可做出不符合希望的行动。如果说“混账”之类骂人的话另当别论，那么，说某人在生活的重要方面做出了违背期望的行动，则是日本人使用的最接近咒骂的语言。

The contradictions which all Westerners have described in Japanese character are intelligible from their child rearing. It produces a duality in their outlook on life, neither side of which can be ignored. From their experience of privilege and psychological ease in babyhood they retain through all the disciplines of later life the memory of an easier life when they ‘did not know shame.' They do not have to paint a Heaven in the future; they have it in their past. They rephrase their childhood in their doctrine of the innate goodness of man, of the benevolence of their gods, and of the incomparable desirability of being a Japanese. It makes it easy for them to base their ethics on extreme interpretations of the ‘Buddha-seed' in every man and of every man's becoming a kami on death. It gives them assertiveness and a certain self-confidence. It underlies their frequent willingness to tackle any job, no matter how far above their ability it may seem to be. It underlies their readiness to pit their judgment even against their own Government, and to testify to it by suicide. On occasion, it gives them a capacity for mass megalomania.

关于以往一切西方人们所描绘的日本人性格上的矛盾，只要看一看他们教育子女的方法，便可以心悦诚服。这在日本人的人生观上产生出二元性，它的任何一个侧面都不可忽视。他们由于幼儿期的特权和无忧无虑的经验，以至其接受种种训练后仍还保留着“不知羞耻”时期那种轻松快活的生活记忆。他们无须描绘未来为天堂，他们过去有过天堂，他们相信人性本善，众佛慈悲，生为日本人无比幸福，是在用另外的语言表现他们的幼年时代。幼儿期的经验，使他们很容易地将自己的伦理建立在一切人心中都有“佛性”（可以成佛），任何人死后都可以成神这种极端的解释上面。这给了他们固执己见的倾向和某种自信，成了他们不论针对任何工作，哪怕是远远超出他们能力的艰难的事业也无所畏惧的态度的基础。同时，也成了他们甚至对本国政府也采取反对的立场进行战斗，不惜以自杀证明自己立场坚定的态度的基础。有时也给他们以陷入团体性的夸大妄想狂的可能性。

Gradually, after they are six or seven, responsibility for circumspection and ‘knowing shame' is put upon them and upheld by the most drastic of sanctions: that their own family will turn against them if they default. The pressure is not that of a Prussian discipline, but it is inescapable. In their early privileged period the ground has been prepared for this development both by the persistent inescapable training in nursery habits and posture, and by the parents' teasing which threatens the child with rejection. These early experiences prepare the child to accept great restraints upon himself when he is told that ‘the world' will laugh at him and reject him. He clamps down upon the impulses he expressed so freely in earlier life, not because they are evil but because they are now inappropriate. He is now entering upon serious life. As he is progressively denied the privileges of childhood he is granted the gratifications of greater and greater adulthood, but the experiences of that earlier period never truly fade out. In his philosophy of life he draws freely upon them. He goes back to them in his permissiveness about ‘human feelings.' He re-experiences them all through his adulthood in his ‘free areas' of life.

自从六七岁之后，行为谨慎、“懂得羞耻”的责任便逐渐加在了他们的身上。而且这一责任是由如果不完成这一责任便会受到自己家族摈弃这一最强有力的强制力量支持的。这一压力虽然不是严格纪律的压力，但却是无法摆脱的。这样发展下去的基础，早在拥有特权的幼儿时期就已打下了；是依靠着那些执拗的反复进行的无论如何也不可避免的培养排便的习惯以及正确姿势的教育，依靠着父母要把孩子扔掉这类的嘲弄打下的。这种幼儿时期的经验，奠定了孩子一听说会惹人“耻笑”或者要把他扔掉，便会心甘情愿地服从强加给他的严格管教的基础。他那样毫不客气地抑制住幼儿时期曾流露在外的冲动，并不是因为这些冲动不好，而是因为现在不合时宜。因为他现在正踏上真正的生活。随着幼时的特权逐渐被否认，他慢慢地可以享受大人的乐趣了。但是，幼儿时期的那些经验决不会真正消失。他在人生哲学上将广泛地依靠这些经验。他在整个成年期，在他的生活的“自由的领域”还会再次体现这些经验。

One striking continuity connects the earlier and the later period of the child's life: the great importance of being accepted by his fellows. This, and not an absolute standard of virtue, is what is inculcated in him. In early childhood, his mother took him into her bed when he was old enough to ask, he counted the candies he and his brothers and sisters were given as a sign of how he ranked in his mother's affection, he was quick to notice when he was passed over and he asked even his older sister, ‘Do you love me best? In the later period he is asked to forego more and more personal satisfactions, but the promised reward is that he will be approved and accepted by ‘the world.' The punishment is that ‘the world' will laugh at him. This is of course a sanction invoked in child training in most cultures, but it is exceptionally heavy in Japan. Rejection by ‘the world' has been dramatized for the child by his parents' teasing when they threatened to get rid of him. All his life ostracism is more dreaded than violence. He is allergic to threats of ridicule and rejection, even when he merely conjures them up in his own mind. Because there is little privacy in a Japanese community, too, it is no fantasy that ‘the world' knows practically everything he does and can reject him if it disapproves. Even the construction of the Japanese house—the thin walls that permit the passage of sounds and which are pushed open during the day—makes private life extremely public for those who cannot afford a wall and garden.

一个明显的连续性将孩子生活的前期和后期连接起来。这就是得到伙伴们的承认是有非常重要的意义。刻在孩子心灵深处的正是这一点，而不是绝对的道德标准。在孩子时代的前期，到了他总算可以缠着母亲央求的年龄，母亲便让他睡在自己的被窝里。他根据自己和亲兄弟姐妹分给的糕点的多少判断自己在母亲喜欢的孩子里居于第几位。他被人疏远时，能敏感的觉察到，甚至问姐姐：“你是不是最喜欢我？”在后期将要求孩子逐渐放弃更多的个人满足。然而，得到的补偿是受到“社会上人们”的承认和欢迎，而惩罚便是遇到“社会上人们”的耻笑。当然这是在教育子女时，大多数文明社会无不依靠的强制力量。但是，这一点在日本却强调到无可比拟的程度。遇到“社会上人们”的抛弃究竟是怎么回事，已经以父母威胁孩子要把他扔掉这种嘲弄的形式印在了孩子的脑海里。在他的一生中，比之暴力，他更害怕被朋友抛弃。他对于嘲弄和排斥的威胁，即使只不过是偶尔闪现在脑海里也十分敏感。事实上，在日本社会里保守生活的秘密几乎是不可解的，他们所作所为几乎都会为“世人”所察知，一旦认为他不好，完全有可能将他排斥在外，这决不是妄想。因为首先日本房屋的构造——音响清楚可闻、而且白天大敞大开的薄壁（纸糊拉门）使得无力修建围墙和族院的人们和生活完全暴露无遗。

Certain symbols the Japanese use help to make clear the two sides of their character which are based on the discontinuity of their child rearing. That side which is built up in the earliest period is the ‘self without shame,' and they test how far they have kept it when they look at their own faces in the mirror. The mirror, they say, ‘reflects eternal purity.' It does not foster vanity nor reflect the ‘interfering self.' It reflects the depths of the soul. A person should see there his ‘self without shame.' In the mirror he sees his own eyes as the ‘door' of his soul, and this helps him to live as a ‘self without shame.' He sees there the idealized parental image. There are descriptions of men who always carry a mirror with them for this purpose, and even of one who set up a special mirror in his household shrine in which to contemplate himself and examine his soul; he ‘enshrined himself'; he ‘worshipped himself.' It was unusual, but it was only a small step to take, for all household Shinto shrines have mirrors on them as sacred objects. During the war the Japanese radio carried a special paean of approval for a classroom of girls who had bought themselves a mirror. There was no thought of its being a sign of vanity. It was described as a renewed dedication to calm purposes in the depths of their souls. Looking into it was an external observance which would testify to the virtue of their spirit.

日本人使用的某些象征，有助于弄清由于子女教育上的不连续性而造成的他们性格上的双重化。最早时期形成的一个侧面是，“不知羞耻的自我”，为了看到自己“不知羞耻的自我”究竟保留到什么程度，他们望着镜子中映出的自己的面孔。据说，镜子可“映出永远的纯洁程度”。这既不是要培训虚荣心，也不是要照出“有害的自我”，而是要映出灵魂的深处。人们必须从中看到自己“不知羞耻的自我”。人们从镜子中看到自己作为心灵之“窗”的眼睛，有易于“不知羞耻的自我”的生存。常听说有人为此目的总是随身不离镜子。据说其中还有人在佛坛里放上特别的镜子，供他照出自己的容貌，反省自己的灵魂。他自己“供奉自己”、“祈祷自己”，这的确是特殊的例子。但是，这个人只不过将日本人通常的所为向前推进了一步。因为在家庭的神龛上，不论哪一家都供奉着镜子作为祭拜的对象。战争期间，日本电台特意播放过赞扬自己凑钱买镜子挂在教室里的女学生的歌曲，人们丝毫也不认为这是虚荣心的表现。宣扬他们据说是为了经常不断地为她们心灵深处的平静目的而献身，照镜子是证明她们精神情操高尚的外部行动。

Japanese feelings about the mirror are derived from the time before the ‘observing self' was inculcated in the child. They do not see the ‘observing self' in the looking glass. There their selves are spontaneously good as they were in childhood, without the mentor of ‘shame.' The same symbolism they attribute to the mirror is the basis too of their ideas of ‘expert' self-discipline, in which they train themselves with such persistence to eliminate the ‘observing self' and get back the directness of early childhood.

日本人对于镜子的感情，早在孩子们心目中尚未形成“虚荣的自我”的时候即已开始。他们不是从镜子中得到“虚荣的自我”。在镜子里映出的他们的自我，正如幼儿时期那样，无须借助于“羞耻”这一指导者，对于那些本来就是善良的。他们赋予镜子相同的象征性意义成了他们“精通”的自我修养的基础。他们为了摆脱“虚荣的自我”，恢复到幼儿的直接性上，要孜孜不倦地训练自己。

In spite of all the influences their privileged early childhood has upon the Japanese, the restraints of the succeeding period when shame becomes the basis of virtue are not felt solely as deprivations. Self-sacrifice, as we have seen, is one of the Christian concepts they have often challenged; they repudiate the idea that they are sacrificing themselves. Even in extreme cases, the Japanese speak, instead, of ‘voluntary' death in payment of chu or ko or giri, and this does not seem to them to fall in the category of self-sacrifice. Such a voluntary death, they say, achieves an object you yourself desire. Otherwise it would be a ‘dog's death,' which means to them a worthless death; it does not mean, as in English, death in the gutter. Less extreme courses of conduct, too, which in English are called self-sacrificing, in Japanese belong rather in the category of self-respect. Self-respect (jicho) always means restraint, and restraint is valuable just as self-respect is. Great things can only be achieved through self-restraint, and the American emphasis on freedom as a prerequisite for achievement has never seemed to them, with their different experiences, to be adequate. They accept as a principal tenet in their code the idea that through self-restraint they make their selves more valuable. How else could they control their dangerous selves, full of impulses that might break out and confound a proper life? As one Japanese expresses it:

这样，拥有特权的幼儿时期的生活，给日本人以各种各样的影响。尽管如此，对于后一时期耻辱成为道德基础的这一时期的管束，并不认为只是单纯地剥夺特权。如前所述，“自我牺牲”这一概念是日本人时常攻击基督教式的概念之一。他们不承认自己会有牺牲自己这样的想法，即使在极其特殊的情况下，日本人也该是为了偿还“忠”、“孝”或者“情义”的负债而死。并不认为这属于“自我牺牲”的范畴。他们说正是由于这样主动地去死才能达到自己希求的目的。否则，必须是“犬死”。所谓“犬死”对他们说来，是无价值的死，并不像英语中“dog death”那样，是表示沦落在社会底层而死的意思。对于那些本来并不是那么极端的一连串的行为，英语里称self-sacrificing（自我牺牲），在日语中则属于“自重”的范畴。“自重”是经常自制的意思，自制与自重同样都是十分重要的。大事只有靠自制才能实现，美国人强调实现目的的必要条件，是自由。但是具有不同生活经验的日本人则认为只靠它并不完全，他们把自制会使自我更有价值这一想法，作为他们道德原则的主要信条之一。他们如何能控制住那个内心潜藏着种种冲动的危险自我？这些冲动也许会跳出来毁掉正确的生活。正如一个日本人说的：

The more coats of varnish that are laid on the foundation by laborious work throughout the years, the more valuable becomes the lacquer work as a finished product. So it is with a people . . . It is said of the Russians: ‘Scratch a Russian and you find a Tartar.' One might with equal justice say of the Japanese: ‘Scratch a Japanese, scrape off the varnish, and you find a pirate.' Yet it should not be forgotten that in Japan varnish is a valuable product and an aid to handicraft. There is nothing spurious about it; it is not a daub to cover defects. It is at least as valuable as the substance it adorns.*

多年勤勤恳恳地在上漆时涂的漆层越厚，完成后的漆器会价值越高，对于一个民族也可以这样说……关于俄国人，有人说：“掀开俄国人外罩，会现出鞑靼人。”对日本人也可以说：“挠挠日本人，把漆刮掉，会现出海盗。”但是，不要忘记在日本漆是贵重的物品，是手工业的辅助材料。漆不会有一点儿假。涂漆的目的不是为了掩盖住瑕疵。至少它与需要变化的木胎具有同等价值。引自野原驹吉：《日本的真实》，伦敦，1936年，第50页。

The contradictions in Japanese male behavior which are so conspicuous to Westerners are made possible by the discontinuity of their upbringing, which leaves in their consciousness, even after all the ‘lacquering' they undergo, the deep imprint of a time when they were like little gods in their little world, when they were free to gratify even their aggressions, and when all satisfactions seemed possible. Because of this deeply implanted dualism, they can swing as adults from excesses of romantic love to utter submission to the family. They can indulge in pleasure and ease, no matter to what lengths they go in accepting extreme obligations. Their training in circumspection makes them in action an often timid people, but they are brave even to foolhardiness. They can prove themselves remarkably submissive in hierarchal situations and yet not be easily amenable to control from above. In spite of all their politeness, they can retain arrogance. They can accept fanatic discipline in the Army and yet be insubordinate. They can be passionately conservative and yet be attracted by new ways, as they have successively demonstrated in their adoption of Chinese customs and of Western learning.

令西方人吃惊的日本男子行动上的这种矛盾，来源于他们儿童时代教育的不连惯性。“涂上漆”之后在他们的意识中仍然残存着他在自己的小小的世界里充当小神仙的时代、尽情地撒娇的时代以及自以为任何愿望都能如愿以偿的时代的痕迹。由于心中如此深深地打上了二元性的烙印，在他们长大成人后，既要为罗曼蒂克的恋爱神魂颠倒，又要一反常态无条件地服从家族的意见；既要追求享乐、贪图安逸，又要为不顾死活地主动去完成极端的义务。强调必须慎重的教育，使他们在行动上经常成为懦弱的国民，但是，有时他们又表现出近乎鲁莽的勇敢。他们在根据等级制度要求服从的事情上，态度表现得无比顺从，但是，对于来自上面的管制都很不服从。他们非常有礼貌，但是依然保留着傲慢的态度。他们在军队里服从盲目的训练，但是又不顺从。他们是坚定的保守主义者，但对崭新的生活方式又十分憧憬，如同他们吸收中国的习惯和西方的学问那样。

The dualism in their characters creates tensions to which different Japanese respond in different ways, though each is making his own solution of the same essential problem of reconciling the spontaneity and acceptance he experienced in early childhood with the restraints which promise security in later life. A good many have difficulty in resolving this problem. Some stake everything on ruling their lives like pedants and are deeply fearful of any spontaneous encounter with life. The fear is the greater because spontaneity is no fantasy but something they once experienced. They remain aloof, and, by adhering to the rules they have made their own, feel that they have identified themselves with all that speaks with authority. Some are more dissociated. They are afraid of their own aggressiveness which they dam up in their souls and cover with a bland surface behavior. They often keep their thoughts busy with trivial minutiae in order to stave off awareness of their real feelings. They are mechanical in the performance of a disciplined routine which is fundamentally meaningless to them. Others, who have been more caught by their early childhood, feel a consuming anxiety in the face of all that is demanded of them as adults and try to increase their dependence when it is no longer appropriate. They feel that any failure is an aggression against authority and any striving therefore throws them into great agitation. Unforeseen situations which cannot be handled by rote are frightening to them.*

性格的二元性造成了紧张，对于这一紧张，日本人各有不同的反应。实际上，这只不过是对于将幼儿时期可以我行我素的经验与其后约束生活平衡的束缚融和起来这同一个重要的问题，各人作出各自的解答罢了。许多人感到解决这一问题困难。有的人像道学家那样完全按规则约束自己的生活，生怕出现自发性的行为。由于这种自发性并非凭空的幻想，而是他们曾经实际体验过的行动，所以就更感到可怕。他们妄自尊大，仿佛凭着墨守他们自己掌握的规则，就能成为发号施令的人。有的人陷入了人格分裂。他们害怕潜藏在自己心中的反抗情绪，表面上装出温和的态度，借以进行掩饰。他们经常为了防止意识到自己的真实感情，埋头于无聊的琐事。他们只是机械地执行通过训练学到的、对他们来说实际上是毫无意义的日常规范。同时，还有的人由于受幼儿时期生活的影响颇深，长大后一遇到必须完成某项任务的时候，便感到揪心般的不安。而且，尽管已到不该再依赖别人的年龄，仍想更多地依赖别人。他们一旦失败，便认为是对权威的叛逆。因此，一举手一投足都使他们陷入极度的紧张和不安。对他们来说，无法按照国家的程序机械处理的难以预测的局面，非常可怕。这些事例基于多罗西·莱顿博士对战时隔离收容所中的日本人实施的、由弗兰西斯分析的罗尔夏测量表。罗尔夏测量表是瑞士精神病学家罗尔夏开始实施的一种测量办法，向被测量者出示黑白或彩色的意义不明但又左右对称的图形，让其进行解释，根据其解释判断其性格。——译注

These are characteristic dangers to which the Japanese are exposed when their anxiety about rejection and censure are too much for them. When they are not overpressed, they show in their lives both the capacity for enjoying life and the carefulness not to step on others' toes which has been bred into them in their upbringing. It is a very considerable achievement. Their early childhood has given them assertiveness. It has not awakened a burdening sense of guilt. The later restraints have been imposed in the name of solidarity with their fellows, and the obligations are reciprocal. There are designated ‘free areas' where impulse life can still be gratified, no matter how much other people may interfere with their wishes in certain matters. The Japanese have always been famous for the pleasure they get from innocent things: viewing the cherry blossoms, the moon, chrysanthemums, or new fallen snow; keeping insects caged in the house for their ‘song'; writing little verses; making gardens; arranging flowers, and drinking ceremonial tea. These are not activities of a deeply troubled and aggressive people. They do not take their pleasures sadly either. A Japanese rural community, in those happier days before Japan embarked on its disastrous Mission, could be in its leisure time as cheerful and sanguine as any living people. In its hours of work it could be as diligent.

以上是日本人极度担心受到排斥与责难时容易陷入的特有的危险境地。当感受不到过分的压力时，他们在自己生活中既表现出享受生活乐趣的能力，又表现出通过儿童时期的训育养成的不伤害他人感情的谨慎。这是很了不起的事情。他们在幼儿时期学会了坚持自己主张的态度，没有使百般折磨心灵的罪恶意识觉醒。其后，形形色色的束缚增加了，不过，这是为了保持同伙伴们的关系，义务是相互的。在某些事情上，自己的愿望可能受到他人的妨碍，但是依然存在着可以随心所欲地享受冲动生活的“自由的领域”。日本人自古以来素以具有天真无邪的爱好闻名。如观赏樱花、明月、菊花及初雪，家中吊起虫笼听虫儿叫，咏和歌，俳句，侍弄花园，插花，品茶等。很难想象到这些爱好是怀有极大的不安和反抗心的国民所为，而且，他们还不是闷闷不乐地享受这种爱好的。在日本尚未投入那件不祥的“使命”之前的幸福时代，日本农村的人们可以爽朗而快乐地度过闲暇时间，比现代任何一个国家的人民都不逊色。干起活来则比任何国家的人民都勤勉。

But the Japanese ask a great deal of themselves. To avoid the great threats of ostracism and detraction, they must give up personal gratifications they have learned to savor. They must put these impulses under lock and key in the important affairs of life. The few who violate this pattern run the risk of losing even their respect for themselves. Those who do respect themselves (jicho) chart their course, not between ‘good' and ‘evil,' but between ‘expected man' and ‘unexpected man,' and sink their own personal demands in the collective ‘expectation.' These are the good men who ‘know shame (haji)' and are endlessly circumspect. They are the men who bring honor to their families, their villages, and their nation. The tensions that are thus generated are enormous, and they express themselves in a high level of aspiration which has made Japan a leader in the Orient and a great power in the world. But these tensions are a heavy strain upon the individual. Men must be watchful lest they fail, or lest anyone belittle their performances in a course of action which has cost them so much abnegation. Sometimes people explode in the most aggressive acts. They are roused to these aggressions, not when their principles or their freedom is challenged, as Americans are, but when they detect an insult or a detraction. Then their dangerous selves erupt, against the detractor if that is possible, otherwise against themselves.

然而，日本人对自己的要求太多。为了避免遭人摈弃、受人诽谤之类的巨大威胁，他们必须放弃好容易才尝到滋味的乐趣。他们在人生的重大事情上，必须抑制住这些冲动。极少数违背这种模式的人就会陷入丧失自尊的危险。尊重自己（自重）的人，不以“善”或“恶”，而以是不是会成为“辜负期望的人”为标准来决定自己的前进方向。为了不辜负世人一般的“期望”就要抛弃自己的个人要求。这种人才是“知道羞耻的”、无比小心谨慎的卓越的人物。这种人才是给自己的家族、自己的村庄乃至自己的国家带来荣誉的人。由此造成的紧张十分严重，表现出来的就是日本要成为东方的领导者、世界的一大强国这样的宏图大志。但是，这种紧张对个人来说却是沉重的负担。人们必须注意不遭到失败，而且在忍受巨大的自我牺牲做出的一连串行为还必须不被任何人所诋毁。有时，他们也会发泄郁积在心中的积愤，采取进攻性的行动。促使他们采取这种进攻性行动的，不像美国人那样，是由于自己的信仰、主张和自由受到了威胁，而是在自认为受到了侮辱或诱导的时候。这时，他们危险的自我，如有可能便指向诽谤者，否则，便朝着自己发泄。

The Japanese have paid a high price for their way of life. They have denied themselves simple freedoms which Americans count upon as unquestioningly as the air they breathe. We must remember, now that the Japanese are looking to de-mok-ra-sie since their defeat, how intoxicating it can be to them to act quite simply and innocently as one pleases. No one has expressed this better than Mrs. Sugimoto in describing the plant as-you-please garden she was given at the mission school in Tokyo where she was sent to learn English. The teachers let each girl have a plot of wild ground and any seeds she asked for.

日本人为他们的生活方式付出了高昂的代价。单纯的自由之于美国人，如同呼吸一样理所当然，是完全必需的，但日本人拒绝了这种自由。如今，日本人自战败以来也依靠民主主义，但是，我们不能不忆起完全纯真而又天真烂漫地按自己的愿望行事，是如何地使日本人欢天喜地、得意扬扬。最准确地表达出这一喜悦的心情的要算杉本夫人，她记述了在东京的一所学习英语的都会学校里，当得到一块庭园可以随便种植植物时的感想。先生分给每个学生一块荒地，还按学生的愿望发给了种子。

This plant-as-you-please garden gave me a wholly new feeling of personal right…… The very fact that such happiness could exist in the human heart was a surprise to me…… I, with no violation of tradition, no stain on the family name, no shock to parent, teacher or townspeople, no harm to anything in the world was free to act.*

这块可以任意种植的庭园使我尝到了个人的权利这种迄今从未体验过的完全崭新的感情……这样好的幸福本来就存在于人们心中这一事实本身就使我非常震惊……迄今从未违背过习惯，从未玷污过一家的名声，从未惹得父母、师长和村民们颦蹙，也从未损害过世上任何东西的我，得到了随意行动的自由。引自《一个武士的女儿》，第135～136页。

All the other girls planted flowers. She arranged to plant—potatoes.

其他学生种了花，她种植的却是马铃薯。

No one knows the sense of reckless freedom which this absurd act gave me…… The spirit of freedom came knocking at my door.

这一荒唐的行动使我感受到的鲁莽的自由的感情，是任何人也无法理解的……自由的精神影响了我心灵的大门。

It was a new world.

这是一个崭新的世界。

At my home there was one part of the garden that was supposed to be wild…… But someone was always busy trimming the pines or cutting the hedge, and every morning Jiya wiped off the stepping stones, and, after sweeping beneath the pine trees, carefully scattered fresh pine needles gathered from the forest.

我家院子里有一块看来好像是保持自然原貌、未开垦过的地方……可是，松树总有人修，树篱总有人剪。每天清晨，老爷爷都要把石阶清扫干净，将松树底下打扫一遍。然后将从林中收集来的松叶仔细地撒在地上。

This simulated wildness stood to her for the simulated freedom of will in which she had been trained. And all Japan was full of it. Every great half-sunken rock in Japanese gardens has been carefully chosen and transported and laid on a hidden platform of small stones. Its placing is carefully calculated in relation to the stream, the house, the shrubs, and the trees. So, too, chrysanthemums are grown in pots and arranged for the annual flower shows all over Japan with each perfect petal separately disposed by the grower's hand and often held in place by a tiny invisible wire rack inserted in the living flower.

这种经过修整的自然，对她来说，是迄今她受到教育的、经过修整的意志自由的象征。在日本到处充满着这种经过修整的东西。在日本庭院里一半埋在地下的巨石，全是精心挑选后运来并安放在铺满碎石的地面上的。石头的配置是经过慎重考虑与泉水、建筑物、花草及树木的关系之后才决定的。菊花同样也栽在花盆里，为了拿到每年在日本多地举行的评比会上展出，要进行修整。它那美丽花瓣的每一片都经过栽种者的精心修整，而且，常常在生长着的花里嵌进很细的不显眼的铁丝环儿，以使其保持正确的位置。

Mrs. Sugimoto's intoxication when she was offered a chance to put aside the wire rack was happy and innocent. The chrysanthemum which had been grown in the little pot and which had submitted to the meticulous disposition of its petals discovered pure joy in being natural But today among the Japanese, the freedom to be ‘unexpected,' to question the sanctions of haji (shame), can upset the delicate balance of their way of life. Under a new dispensation they will have to learn new sanctions. And change is costly. It is not easy to work out new assumptions and new virtues. The Western world can neither suppose that the Japanese can take these on sight and make them truly their own, nor must it imagine that Japan cannot ultimately work out a freer, less rigorous ethics. The Nisei in the United States have already lost the knowledge and the practice of the Japanese code, and nothing in their ancestry holds them rigidly to the conventions of the country from which their parents came. So too the Japanese in Japan can, in a new era, set up a way of life which does not demand the old requirements of individual restraint. Chrysanthemums can be beautiful without wire racks and such drastic pruning.

杉本夫人在得到机会拆掉这一铁环儿时的兴奋心情，是幸福而又纯真的。她从栽培在小花盆里、每片花瓣都经过精心修整的菊花又恢复自然的现象中，感受到了纯真的喜悦。但是，在今天的日本人中，做出“违背期望”的行动，对“耻辱”的强制力量产生怀疑的自由，有可能打破他们生活中微妙的平衡。他们在新局面中，必须学到新的强制力量，而且变化是昂贵的。做出新的假定，树立新道德，并不是轻而易举的。西方各国不能以为日本国民一见到西方的道德，便会立即采用并变成自己的东西，而且，也不能以为日本不可能再建立更加自由、更加宽容的伦理。居住在美国的后裔们，已经丧失了日本道德准则的知识和实践。在他们的血统里，不存在任何使他们严格地墨守他们父母出身国——日本的习惯；同样，居住在日本本国的日本人，在新的时代，也有可能不再像过去那样，建立起不要求履行个人自制的义务的生活方式。菊花即使去掉铁环儿，不进行那样彻底的修整，也能开放出绚丽的花朵。

In this transition to a greater psychic freedom, the Japanese have certain old traditional virtues which can help to keep them on an even keel. One of these is that self-responsibility which they phrase as their accountability for ‘the rust of my body,'—that figure of speech which identifies one's body with a sword. As the wearer of a sword is responsible for its shining brilliancy, so each man must accept responsibility for the outcome of his acts. He must acknowledge and accept all natural consequences of his weakness, his lack of persistence, his ineffectualness. Self-responsibility is far more drastically interpreted in Japan than in free America. In this Japanese sense the sword becomes, not a symbol of aggression, but a simile of ideal and self-responsible man. No balance wheel can be better than this virtue in a dispensation which honors individual freedom, and Japanese child-rearing and philosophy of conduct have inculcated it as a part of the Japanese Spirit. Today the Japanese have proposed ‘to lay aside the sword' in the Western sense. In their Japanese sense, they have an abiding strength in their concern with keeping an inner sword free from the rust which always threatens it. In their phraseology of virtue the sword is a symbol they can keep in a freer and more peaceful world.

在拓展这种精神自由的过渡时期，日本人将依靠着某些古老的传统道德，不丧失平衡，安全地破浪前进。他们一定会用“自己身上的锈”要由自己处理，即“自我负责”这句话来表达对己负责的态度。这一比喻将自己的身体与刀同等看待。带刀的人有责任保持钢刀明光闪亮。同样，人们对自己行为的结果也必须自负其责。人们必须承认并且接受由于自身的弱点、缺乏耐力以及失败等造成的必然结果。自我负责在日本远比自由的美国有着更为彻底的解释。从这种日本式的意义上来说，刀不是进攻的象征，而是理智的、勇于对自己的行为负责的人的比喻。在尊重个人自由的时代，这一道德起到了最优秀的平衡的作用。今天，日本人从西方式的意义上来说，已表示要“扔掉刀”（投降）。但是，从日本式的意义上说，日本人依然将重点放在使易于生锈的心中的刀不生锈上。按照他们道德的术语，即使在更为自由、更为和平的世界上，刀依然是他们得以保存的象征。