12
第12节
The cab I had was a real old one that smelled like someone'd just tossed his cookies in it. I always get those vomity kind of cabs if I go anywhere late at night. What made it worse, it was so quiet and lonesome out, even though it was Saturday night. I didn't see hardly anybody on the street. Now and then you just saw a man and a girl crossing a street, with their arms around each other's waists and all, or a bunch of hoodlumy-looking guys and their dates, all of them laughing like hyenas at something you could bet wasn't funny. New York's terrible when somebody laughs on the street very late at night. You can hear it for miles. It makes you feel so lonesome and depressed. I kept wishing I could go home and shoot the bull for a while with old Phoebe. But finally, after I was riding a while, the cab driver and I sort of struck up a conversation. His name was Horwitz. He was a much better guy than the other driver I'd had. Anyway, I thought maybe he might know about the ducks.
我坐的那辆出租汽车是辆真正的旧汽车，里面的气味就好象有人刚刚呕吐过似的。我只要深夜出去，总会坐到这类令人作呕的汽车。更糟糕的是，外面又是那么静寂那么孤独，虽说是在星期六晚上。街上我几乎没看见什么人。偶尔只见一男一女穿过街心，彼此搂着腰；或者一帮阿飞模样的家伙跟他们的女朋友在一起，全都象恶魔似的哈哈大笑着，至于引起他们发笑的东西，你可以打赌根本不好笑。遇到深夜有人在街上大笑，纽约确是个可怕的地方。你在好几英里外都听得见这笑声。你会觉得那么孤独，那么沮丧。我真希望自己能回家去，跟我妹妹菲芘瞎扯一会儿。可是最后，等到我在车里坐了一会儿以后，那司机就跟我聊起天来。他的名字叫霍维兹。他比我早先遇见的那个司机要好多了。嗯，我忽然想起他或许知道那些鸭子的事。
"Hey, Horwitz," I said. "You ever pass by the lagoon in Central Park? Down by Central Park South?"
“嗨，霍维兹，”我说。“你到中央公园浅水溯一带去过没有？就在中央公园南头？”
"The what?"
“去过哪儿？”
"The lagoon. That little lake, like, there. Where the ducks are. You know."
“浅水湖。那个小湖。里边有鸭子。你知道。”
"Yeah, what about it?"
“不错，怎么回事？”
"Well, you know the ducks that swim around in it? In the springtime and all? Do you happen to know where they go in the wintertime, by any chance?"
“呃，你知道在湖里游着的那些鸭子吗？在春天和别的时候？可是到了冬天，你知道它们都到哪儿去了？”
"Where who goes?"
“谁到哪儿去了？”
"The ducks. Do you know, by any chance? I mean does somebody come around in a truck or something and take them away, or do they fly away by themselves--go south or something?"
“那些鸭子，你知道吗？我问你。我是说到底是有人开来卡车把它们运走了呢，还是它们自己飞走了——飞到南方或者什么地方去了？”
Old Horwitz turned all the way around and looked at me. He was a very impatient-type guy. He wasn't a bad guy, though. "How the hell should I know?" he said. "How the hell should I know a stupid thing like that?"
老霍维兹把整个的身子都转了过来，直望着我。他是那种沉不住气的家伙。可他为人倒不坏。“他妈的我怎么知道？”他说。“他妈的我怎么知道象这样的傻事？”
"Well, don't get sore about it," I said. He was sore about it or something.
“呃，别为这个生气，”我说。看样子他好象有点儿生气了。
"Who's sore? Nobody's sore."
“谁生气了？没人生气。”
I stopped having a conversation with him, if he was going to get so damn touchy about it. But he started it up again himself. He turned all the way around again, and said, "The fish don't go no place. They stay right where they are, the fish. Right in the goddam lake."
我看他为一点小事他妈的那么容易生气，就不再跟他说话。可他自己又跟我搭讪了。他又把整个身子转过来，说道：“那些鱼哪儿都不去，它们就呆在原来的地方，那些鱼。就呆在那个混帐湖里。”
"The fish--that's different. The fish is different. I'm talking about the ducks," I said.
“那些鱼——那不一样。那些鱼不一样。我讲的是鸭子，”我说。
"What's different about it? Nothin's different about it," Horwitz said. Everything he said, he sounded sore about something.
“那有什么不一样？没什么不一样，”霍维兹说。他不管说什么话，总好象憋着一肚子气似的。
"It's tougher for the fish, the winter and all, than it is for the ducks, for Chrissake. Use your head, for Chrissake."
“在冬天，鱼比鸡子还要难过呢，老天爷。用你的脑子吧，老天爷。”
I didn't say anything for about a minute. Then I said, "All right. What do they do, the fish and all, when that whole little lake's a solid block of ice, people skating on it and all?"
约莫一分钟工夫，我什么话也没说。接着我说：“好吧。要是那个小湖整个儿结成一块严实的冰，人们都在上面溜冰什么的，那么那些鱼什么的，它们怎么办呢？”
Old Horwitz turned around again. "What the hellaya mean what do they do?" he yelled at me. "They stay right where they are, for Chrissake."
老霍维兹又转过身来。“它们怎么办呢，你他妈的这话是什么意思？”他向我吆喝说。“它们就呆在原来的地方，老天爷。”
"They can't just ignore the ice. They can't just ignore it."
“它们可不能不管冰。它们可不能不管。”
"Who's ignoring it? Nobody's ignoring it!" Horwitz said. He got so damn excited and all, I was afraid he was going to drive the cab right into a lamppost or something. "They live right in the goddam ice. It's their nature, for Chrissake. They get frozen right in one position for the whole winter."
“谁不管冰？没有人不管！”霍维兹说。他变得他妈的那么激动，我真怕他会把汽车撞到电线杆或者别的什么东西上去。“它们就住在混帐的冰里面。这是它们的本性，老天爷。它们就那么一动不动整整冻住一个冬天。”
"Yeah? What do they eat, then? I mean if they're frozen solid, they can't swim around looking for food and all."
“是吗？那么它们吃什么呢？我是说，它们要是冻严实了，就不可能游来游去寻找食物什么的。”
"Their bodies, for Chrissake--what'sa matter with ya? Their bodies take in nutrition and all, right through the goddam seaweed and crap that's in the ice. They got their pores open the whole time. That's their nature, for Chrissake. See what I mean?" He turned way the hell around again to look at me.
“它们的身体，老天爷——你这是怎么啦？它们的身体能吸收养料，就从冰里混帐的水草之类玩艺儿里吸收，整个时间它们的毛孔全都张着。这是它们的本性，老天爷。懂得我的意思吗？”他又他妈的把整个身子转过来看着我。
"Oh," I said. I let it drop. I was afraid he was going to crack the damn taxi up or something. Besides, he was such a touchy guy, it wasn't any pleasure discussing anything with him. "Would you care to stop off and have a drink with me somewhere?" I said.
“哦，”我说。我不再往下说了。我生怕他会把这辆混帐汽车撞得粉碎。再说，他又是那么个容易为小事生气的家伙，跟他讨论什么事情可不是件愉快事儿。“你能不能在哪儿停一下，跟我喝一杯？”我说。
He didn't answer me, though. I guess he was still thinking. I asked him again, though. He was a pretty good guy. Quite amusing and all.
他并没回答我。我揣摩他还在思索。我又问了他一遍。他是个挺不错的家伙。十分有趣。
"I ain't got no time for no liquor, bud," he said. "How the hell old are you, anyways? Why ain'tcha home in bed?"
“我没时间喝酒，老弟，”他说。“你他妈的到底几岁啦？干吗不在家睡觉呢？”
"I'm not tired."
“我不困。”
When I got out in front of Ernie's and paid the fare, old Horwitz brought up the fish again. He certainly had it on his mind. "Listen," he said. "If you was a fish, Mother Nature'd take care of you, wouldn't she? Right? You don't think them fish just die when it gets to be winter, do ya?"
我在欧尼夜总会门口下了车，付了车钱，老霍维兹忽然又提起了鱼的问题。他确是在思考这问题呢。“听着，”他说。“你要是鱼，大自然母亲就会照顾你，对不对？你总不会认为到了冬天，那些鱼都会死去吧？”
"No, but--"
“不，可是——”
"You're goddam right they don't," Horwitz said, and drove off like a bat out of hell. He was about the touchiest guy I ever met. Everything you said made him sore.
“你他妈的说得对，它们不会死去，”霍维兹说着，就象只飞出地狱的蝙蝠似的，开着车一溜烟走了。他可以说是我一辈子遇到的最容易为一点小事生气的家伙。不管你说什么，都会惹他生气。
Even though it was so late, old Ernie's was jampacked. Mostly with prep school jerks and college jerks. Almost every damn school in the world gets out earlier for Christmas vacation than the schools I go to. You could hardly check your coat, it was so crowded. It was pretty quiet, though, because Ernie was playing the piano. It was supposed to be something holy, for God's sake, when he sat down at the piano. Nobody's that good. About three couples, besides me, were waiting for tables, and they were all shoving and standing on tiptoes to get a look at old Ernie while he played. He had a big damn mirror in front of the piano, with this big spotlight on him, so that everybody could watch his face while he played. You couldn't see his fingers while he played--just his big old face. Big deal. I'm not too sure what the name of the song was that he was playing when I came in, but whatever it was, he was really stinking it up. He was putting all these dumb, show-offy ripples in the high notes, and a lot of other very tricky stuff that gives me a pain in the ass. You should've heard the crowd, though, when he was finished. You would've puked.
尽管时间已经这么晚了，老“欧尼”还是拥挤不堪。绝大多数是大学预料和大学里一些粗俗不堪的家伙。几乎世界上的每一个混帐学校都比我进的那些学校放假早。这地方挤得差点儿连大衣都没法存。可是倒静得很，因为欧尼正在弹钢琴。只要他在钢琴边坐下，便被看成是件神圣的事，其实老天爷，谁也不可能好得那样。除我之外，约莫还有三对男女在等桌子，他们全都推推搡搡的，踮起脚尖，想看一眼欧尼弹钢琴时的样子。他的钢琴前面放着一面混帐大镜子，他身上照着极亮的聚光灯，因此在他演奏的时候，人人都能看着他的脸。他演奏的时候你看不见他的指头——只看见他那张宽阔的老脸。真是了不起。我不太记得我进去的时候他正在演奏什么曲子，不过不管是什么曲子，他却真的把它糟蹋得一塌糊涂。他卖弄本领，傻里傻气的把那些高音符弹得象流水一样，还有其他许多油腔滑调的鬼把戏，我听了真是厌恶极了。可是，你真该听听他弹完时听众的那阵声音。你听了准会作呕。
They went mad. They were exactly the same morons that laugh like hyenas in the movies at stuff that isn't funny. I swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet. Anyway, when he was finished, and everybody was clapping their heads off, old Ernie turned around on his stool and gave this very phony, humble bow. Like as if he was a helluva humble guy, besides being a terrific piano player. It was very phony--I mean him being such a big snob and all. In a funny way, though, I felt sort of sorry for him when he was finished. I don't even think he knows any more when he's playing right or not. It isn't all his fault. I partly blame all those dopes that clap their heads off--they'd foul up anybody, if you gave them a chance. Anyway, it made me feel depressed and lousy again, and I damn near got my coat back and went back to the hotel, but it was too early and I didn't feel much like being all alone.
他们全都疯了。他们完全象电影院里的那些痴子，见了一些并不可笑的东西却笑得象魔鬼一样。我可以对天发誓，换了我当钢琴家或是演员或是其他什么，这般傻瓜如果把我看成极了不起，我反而会不高兴。我甚至不愿他们给我鼓掌。他们总是为不该鼓掌的东西鼓掌。换了我当钢琴家，我宁可在混帐壁橱里演奏。嗯，他一弹完，当每个人都在不要命地鼓掌的时候，老欧尼就从他坐着的凳子上转过身来，鞠了一个十分假、十分谦虚的躬。象煞他不仅是个杰出的钢琴家，而且还是个谦虚得要命的仁人君子。完全是假模假式——我是说他原是那么个大势利鬼。可是说来可笑，他演奏完毕时，我倒真有点儿替他难受。我甚至都认为他已不再知道他自己弹得好不好了。这也不能完全怪他。我倒有点儿怪所有那些不要命地鼓掌的傻瓜——你只要给他们一个机会，他们会把任何人宠坏。嗯，这又让我心里沮丧和烦闷起来，我他妈的差点儿都想取回我的大衣回旅馆去了，只是时间太早，我不太想回去独自呆看。
They finally got me this stinking table, right up against a wall and behind a goddam post, where you couldn't see anything. It was one of those tiny little tables that if the people at the next table don't get up to let you by--and they never do, the bastards--you practically have to climb into your chair. I ordered a Scotch and soda, which is my favorite drink, next to frozen Daiquiris. If you were only around six years old, you could get liquor at Ernie's, the place was so dark and all, and besides, nobody cared how old you were. You could even be a dope fiend and nobody'd care.
最后他们给我找了一个糟得不能再糟的桌位，靠着墙壁，前面还挡着一根混帐柱子，望出去什么也看不见。桌子又小，邻桌上的人要是不站起来让路——他们当然从来不站起来，这班杂种——你简直得爬进你的椅子。我要了杯威士忌酒和苏打水，这是我最爱喝的饮料，除了代基里酒以外。你哪怕只有六岁，都能在欧尼夜总会要到酒，这地方是那么暗，再说谁也不管你有多大年纪。哪怕你是个有吸毒瘾的，也没人管。
I was surrounded by jerks. I'm not kidding. At this other tiny table, right to my left, practically on top of me, there was this funny-looking guy and this funny-looking girl. They were around my age, or maybe just a little older. It was funny. You could see they were being careful as hell not to drink up the minimum too fast. I listened to their conversation for a while, because I didn't have anything else to do. He was telling her about some pro football game he'd seen that afternoon. He gave her every single goddam play in the whole game--I'm not kidding. He was the most boring guy I ever listened to. And you could tell his date wasn't even interested in the goddam game, but she was even funnier-looking than he was, so I guess she had to listen. Real ugly girls have it tough. I feel so sorry for them sometimes. Sometimes I can't even look at them, especially if they're with some dopey guy that's telling them all about a goddam football game. On my right, the conversation was even worse, though. On my right there was this very Joe Yale-looking guy, in a gray flannel suit and one of those flitty-looking Tattersall vests. All those Ivy League bastards look alike. My father wants me to go to Yale, or maybe Princeton, but I swear, I wouldn't go to one of those Ivy League colleges, if I was dying, for God's sake. Anyway, this Joe Yale-looking guy had a terrific-looking girl with him. Boy, she was good-looking. But you should've heard the conversation they were having. In the first place, they were both slightly crocked. What he was doing, he was giving her a feel under the table, and at the same time telling her all about some guy in his dorm that had eaten a whole bottle of aspirin and nearly committed suicide. His date kept saying to him, "How horrible . . . Don't, darling. Please, don't. Not here." Imagine giving somebody a feel and telling them about a guy committing suicide at the same time! They killed me.
我周围全是些粗俗不堪的人。我不开玩笑。在我左边另一张小桌上，简直就在我头上坐着一个怪模怪样的男子和一个怪模怪样的妨娘。他们跟我差不多年纪，或者也许稍稍比我大一点儿。说来真是好笑。你看得出他们都小心得要命，用慢得不能再慢的速度喝着少得不能再少的酒。我听了一会儿他们的谈话，因为我没有别的事可做，他正在讲给她听当天下午他看的一场职业选手的橄榄球比赛。他把整场比赛里的每一个混帐动作都给她讲了——我不开玩笑。我从来没听见过讲话比他更腻烦的。你也看得出他的女朋友对这场混帐球赛甚至都不感兴趣，可她的模样儿长得甚至比他还要丑，所以我揣摩她也就非听不可。真正的丑姑娘说来也真可怜。有时我真替她们难受。有时候我甚至连看都不敢看她们，特别是她们跟那种碟碟不休地大谈一场混帐的橄揽球赛的家伙在一块儿的时候。可是在我右边，所进行的谈话甚至还要糟糕。我右边是一个非常象耶鲁学生模样的家伙，穿着一套法兰绒衣装，里面是件轻飘飘的塔特萨尔牌内衣。所有这些名牌大学里的杂种外表都一模一样。我父亲要我上耶鲁，或者布林斯敦，可我发誓决不进常青藤联合会里的任何一个学院，哪怕是要我的命，老天爷。不管怎样，这个耶鲁模样的家伙却跟一个漂亮极了的姑娘在一起，嘿，她长的真是漂亮。可你真该听听他们正在进行的那场谈话。首先，他们两个都有了醉意。那个男的一边在桌子底下抚摸她，一边却跟她讲着他宿舍里某个家伙怎样吃了整整一瓶阿斯匹林自杀，差点儿死了。他的女朋友不住地对他说：“多可怕哪……别这样，亲爱的。请别这样。这儿不成。”想一想，一边抚摸女人，一边讲给她听怎样有人自杀！我听了差点儿笑死。
I certainly began to feel like a prize horse's ass, though, sitting there all by myself. There wasn't anything to do except smoke and drink. What I did do, though, I told the waiter to ask old Ernie if he'd care to join me for a drink. I told him to tell him I was D.B.'s brother. I don't think he ever even gave him my message, though. Those bastards never give your message to anybody.
我这样独自个儿坐着，的的确确开始感觉到自己很象是一匹得了奖的马的屁股。我除了抽烟喝酒之外，别无其他事情可做。我于是叫侍者去问问老欧尼是不是肯来跟我一块儿喝一杯。我叫他去告诉他说我是DB的弟弟。可是我认为他甚至都不会把信送到。这些杂种是决不会代你向任何人送信的。
All of a sudden, this girl came up to me and said, "Holden Caulfield!" Her name was Lillian Simmons. My brother D.B. used to go around with her for a while. She had very big knockers.
一霎时，有个姑娘过来对我说：“霍尔顿·考尔菲德！”她的名字叫莉莉恩·西蒙斯。我哥哥DB过去有一时期曾跟她在一起过。她的胸脯非常饱满。
"Hi," I said. I tried to get up, naturally, but it was some job getting up, in a place like that. She had some Navy officer with her that looked like he had a poker up his ass.
“嗨，”我说。我自然想站起来，可是在这样的地方，要站起来颇费一番工夫。跟她在一块儿的是一个海军军官，他那样子就象屁股后面藏着根通条似的。
"How marvelous to see you!" old Lillian Simmons said. Strictly a phony. "How's your big brother?" That's all she really wanted to know.
“见到你多高兴！”老莉莉恩·西蒙斯说，完全是假模假式。“你哥哥好吗？”其实她想知道的，还不就是这个。
"He's fine. He's in Hollywood."
“他挺好。他到好莱坞去了。”
"In Hollywood! How marvelous! What's he doing?"
“到好莱坞去了！多了不起！他在干什么呢？”
"I don't know. Writing," I said. I didn't feel like discussing it. You could tell she thought it was a big deal, his being in Hollywood. Almost everybody does. Mostly people who've never read any of his stories. It drives me crazy, though.
“我不知道。写作吧，”我说。我不想细谈这件事，你看得出她认为进好莱坞十分了不起。差不多每个人都这样认为。他们多半都没看过他写的小说，这种事情可真叫我发疯。
"How exciting," old Lillian said. Then she introduced me to the Navy guy. His name was Commander Blop or something. He was one of those guys that think they're being a pansy if they don't break around forty of your fingers when they shake hands with you. God, I hate that stuff. "Are you all alone, baby?" old Lillian asked me. She was blocking up the whole goddam traffic in the aisle. You could tell she liked to block up a lot of traffic. This waiter was waiting for her to move out of the way, but she didn't even notice him. It was funny. You could tell the waiter didn't like her much, you could tell even the Navy guy didn't like her much, even though he was dating her. And I didn't like her much. Nobody did. You had to feel sort of sorry for her, in a way. "Don't you have a date, baby?" she asked me. I was standing up now, and she didn't even tell me to sit down. She was the type that keeps you standing up for hours. "Isn't he handsome?" she said to the Navy guy. "Holden, you're getting handsomer by the minute." The Navy guy told her to come on. He told her they were blocking up the whole aisle. "Holden, come join us," old Lillian said. "Bring your drink."
“多让人高兴，”老莉莉恩说。接着她把我介绍给那海军军官。他的名字叫鲍洛甫队长什么。他就是那种人，跟你握起手来要是不把你的指头捏断那么四十根，就会以为自己是娘儿腔。天哪，我痛恨这类事儿。“你只一个人吗，小伙子？”老莉莉恩问我。她把过道上整个儿的混帐交通都堵塞住了。你看得出她很喜欢堵住交通。有个侍者等着她让路，可她甚至就当没有他这个人似的。真是好笑。你看出那侍者并不喜欢她，你看得出甚至连那个海军也不喜欢她，虽说他把她约了出来。而我也不喜欢她。谁也不喜欢她。说来你倒真有点儿替她难受呢。“你没约女朋友吗？小伙子？”她问我。我这时已站了起来，她甚至都不叫我坐下。她就是那种人，喜欢让你一站几个小时。“他长得漂亮不漂亮？”她对那个海军说。“霍尔顿，你确是越长越漂亮了。”那海军叫她往前走，告诉她说他们把整个过道都堵住了。“霍尔顿，来跟我们坐在一起吧，”老莉莉恩说。“把你的酒搬过来。”
"I was just leaving," I told her. "I have to meet somebody." You could tell she was just trying to get in good with me. So that I'd tell old D.B. about it.
“我马上就要走了，”我对她说。“我还有个约会。”你看得出她是想向我讨好。好让我将来告诉老DB。
"Well, you little so-and-so. All right for you. Tell your big brother I hate him, when you see him."
“呃，你这个漂亮小伙子。你倒是挺不错。可你见到你哥哥的时候，请告诉他说我恨他。”
Then she left. The Navy guy and I told each other we were glad to've met each other. Which always kills me. I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
她说完走了。那海军跟我互相说了声“见到你真高兴”。这类事情老让我笑疼肚皮，我老是在跟人说“见到你真高兴”，其实我见到他可一点也不高兴。你要是想在这世界上活下去，就得说这类话。
After I'd told her I had to meet somebody, I didn't have any goddam choice except to leave. I couldn't even stick around to hear old Ernie play something halfway decent. But I certainly wasn't going to sit down at a table with old Lillian Simmons and that Navy guy and be bored to death. So I left. It made me mad, though, when I was getting my coat. People are always ruining things for you.
我既然跟她说了另有约会，就只好离开这地方，此外别无他妈的其他选择。我甚至都不能多呆会儿，听听老欧尼弹一曲比较象样的曲子。不过我当然不会搬过去，跟老莉莉恩·西蒙斯和那海军坐在一桌，去自讨苦咆，让自己腻烦死。所以我离开了。可我取大衣的时候，心里恨得要命。这些人就是会扫你的兴。