23

第23节

I made it very snappy on the phone because I was afraid my parents would barge in on me right in the middle of it. They didn't, though. Mr. Antolini was very nice. He said I could come right over if I wanted to. I think I probably woke he and his wife up, because it took them a helluva long time to answer the phone. The first thing he asked me was if anything was wrong, and I said no. I said I'd flunked out of Pencey, though. I thought I might as well tell him. He said "Good God," when I said that. He had a good sense of humor and all. He told me to come right over if I felt like it.

我三言两语就把电话打完，因为我很怕电话刚打到一半，我父母就撞了进来。不过他们并没有撞进来。安多里尼先生非常和气。他说我要是高兴，可以马上就去。我揣摩我大概把他和他妻子都吵醒了，因为他们过了好半天才来接电话。他第一句话就问我出了什么事没有，我回答说没有。我说我倒是给潘西开除了。我觉得还是告诉他好。我说后，他只说了声“我的天”。他这人很有幽默感。他跟我说我要是愿意，可以马上就去。

He was about the best teacher I ever had, Mr. Antolini. He was a pretty young guy, not much older than my brother D.B., and you could kid around with him without losing your respect for him. He was the one that finally picked up that boy that jumped out the window I told you about, James Castle. Old Mr. Antolini felt his pulse and all, and then he took off his coat and put it over James Castle and carried him all the way over to the infirmary. He didn't even give a damn if his coat got all bloody.

安多里尼先生可以说是我这辈子有过的最好老师。他很年轻，比我哥哥DB大不了多少，你可以跟他一起开玩笑，却不致于失去对他的尊敬。我前面说过的那个叫詹姆士·凯瑟尔的孩子从窗口跳出来以后，最后就是他把孩子抱起来的。老安多里尼先生摸了摸他的脉搏，随后脱掉自己的大衣盖在詹姆士·凯瑟尔身上，把他一直抱到校医室。他甚至都不在乎自己的大衣上染满了血。

When I got back to D.B.'s room, old Phoebe'd turned the radio on. This dance music was coming out. She'd turned it on low, though, so the maid wouldn't hear it. You should've seen her. She was sitting smack in the middle of the bed, outside the covers, with her legs folded like one of those Yogi guys. She was listening to the music. She kills me.

我回到DB房里的时候，发现老菲芘已经把收音机开了，正播送舞曲。她把声音开得很低，免得被女佣人听见。你真该看见她当时的样子。她直挺挺地坐在床中央，在被褥外面，象印度的修行僧那样盘着双腿。她正在欣赏音乐。我见了真把她爱煞。

"C'mon," I said. "You feel like dancing?" I taught her how to dance and all when she was a tiny little kid. She's a very good dancer. I mean I just taught her a few things. She learned it mostly by herself. You can't teach somebody how to really dance.

“喂，”我说。“你想跳舞吗？”她还是个很小很小的毛孩子的时候，我就教会了她跳舞什么的。她是个了不起的舞蹈家。我是说我只教了她一些基本动作。她主要靠自学。舞要真正跳得好，光靠人教可不成。

"You have shoes on," she said.

“你穿着鞋呢，”她说。

"I'll take 'em off. C'mon."

“我可以脱掉。来吧。”

She practically jumped off the bed, and then she waited while I took my shoes off, and then I danced with her for a while. She's really damn good. I don't like people that dance with little kids, because most of the time it looks terrible. I mean if you're out at a restaurant somewhere and you see some old guy take his little kid out on the dance floor. Usually they keep yanking the kid's dress up in the back by mistake, and the kid can't dance worth a damn anyway, and it looks terrible, but I don't do it out in public with Phoebe or anything. We just horse around in the house. It's different with her anyway, because she can dance. She can follow anything you do. I mean if you hold her in close as hell so that it doesn't matter that your legs are so much longer. She stays right with you. You can cross over, or do some corny dips, or even jitterbug a little, and she stays right with you. You can even tango, for God's sake.

她简直是从床上跳下来的，然后她等着我把鞋子脱掉，我们就一起跳了会儿舞。她的舞跳得真是好极了。我不喜欢人们跟小孩子一块儿跳舞，因为十有九次那样子总是十分难看。我是说，在外面的餐厅里你总看见那么个老家伙带着自己的小孩子在舞池里跳舞。他们总是牛头不对马嘴，老攥住孩子背上的衣服一个劲儿往上拉，那孩子呢，简直他妈的不会跳舞，所以那样子真是难看极了，可我从来不带菲芘或别的孩子在公共场所跳舞。我们只是在家里跳着玩儿。不过话说回来，她毕竟与别的孩子不同，因为她会跳舞。不管你怎么跳她都跟得上。我是说你只要把她搂得紧紧的，那样一来不管你的腿比她长多少，也就不碍事了。她会紧跟着你。你可以转身，可以跳些粗俗的花步，甚至还可以跳会儿摇摆舞，她始终紧跟着你。你甚至还可以跳探戈呢，老天爷。

We danced about four numbers. In between numbers she's funny as hell. She stays right in position. She won't even talk or anything. You both have to stay right in position and wait for the orchestra to start playing again. That kills me. You're not supposed to laugh or anything, either.

我们跳了约莫四个曲子。在每个曲子的间歇时间，她的样子好笑得要命。她摆好了跳舞的姿势。她甚至连话都不说。你得跟她一起摆好姿势等乐队再一次开始演奏。我见了差点儿笑死。可你还不准笑哩。

Anyway, we danced about four numbers, and then I turned off the radio. Old Phoebe jumped back in bed and got under the covers. "I'm improving, aren't I?" she asked me.

嗯，我们跳了约莫四个曲子，随后我把收音机关了。老菲芘一下跳回床上，钻进了被窝。“我进步了些，是不是？”她问我。

"And how," I said. I sat down next to her on the bed again. I was sort of out of breath. I was smoking so damn much, I had hardly any wind. She wasn't even out of breath.

“怎么进步的？”我说。我又挨着她在床上坐下了。我有点儿喘不过气来。我抽烟抽得他妈的太凶了，呼吸短得要命。她却连气都没喘一下。

"Feel my forehead," she said all of a sudden.

“你摸摸我的额角看，”她突然说。

"Why?"

“干吗？”

"Feel it. Just feel it once."

“摸摸看。光是摸一摸。”

I felt it. I didn't feel anything, though.

我摸了一下，却什么也没感觉到。

"Does it feel very feverish?" she said.

“是不是烧得厉害？”她说。

"No. Is it supposed to?"

“不，你觉得烧吗？”

"Yes--I'm making it. Feel it again."

“是的——是我有意搞出来的。再摸摸看。”

I felt it again, and I still didn't feel anything, but I said, "I think it's starting to, now." I didn't want her to get a goddam inferiority complex.

我又摸了一下，仍没感觉到什么，可我说：“这回好了，我觉得有点儿烧了。”我可不愿意她产生他妈的自卑感。

She nodded. "I can make it go up to over the thermoneter."

她点点头。“我可以搞得烧到比体温表还高。”

"Thermometer. Who said so?"

“体温表。谁说的？”

"Alice Holmborg showed me how. You cross your legs and hold your breath and think of something very, very hot. A radiator or something. Then your whole forehead gets so hot you can burn somebody's hand."

“是爱丽丝·霍尔姆保教我的。你只要夹紧两腿，屏住呼吸，想一些非常非常热的东西。一个电炉什么的。随后你整个脑门就会热得把人的手烧掉。”

That killed me. I pulled my hand away from her forehead, like I was in terrific danger. "Thanks for telling me," I said.

我差点儿笑死。我立刻把我的手从她脑门上缩回，象是遇到什么可怕的危险似的。“谢谢你警告了我，”我说。

"Oh, I wouldn't've burned your hand. I'd've stopped before it got too--Shhh!" Then, quick as hell, she sat way the hell up in bed.

“哦，我不会把你的手烧掉的。我不等它热得太厉害，就会止住——嘘！”说着，她闪电似的一下子从床上坐了起来。

She scared hell out of me when she did that. "What's the matter?" I said.

她这么一来，可吓得我命都没了。“怎么啦？”我说。

"The front door!" she said in this loud whisper. "It's them!"

“前门！”她用清晰的耳语说。“他们回来啦！”

I quick jumped up and ran over and turned off the light over the desk. Then I jammed out my cigarette on my shoe and put it in my pocket. Then I fanned hell out of the air, to get the smoke out--I shouldn't even have been smoking, for God's sake. Then I grabbed my shoes and got in the closet and shut the door. Boy, my heart was beating like a bastard.

我一下子跳起来，奔过去把台灯关了。随后我把香烟在鞋底上擦灭，放到衣袋里藏好。随后我一个劲儿扇动空气，想让烟散开——我真不应该抽烟，我的天。随后我抓起自己的鞋子，躲进了壁橱，把门关上。嘿，我的心都快从我嘴里跳出来了。

I heard my mother come in the room.

我听见我母亲走进房来。

"Phoebe?" she said. "Now, stop that. I saw the light, young lady."

“菲芘！”她说。“哟，别来这一套啦。我早看见灯光了，好小姐。”

"Hello!" I heard old Phoebe say. "I couldn't sleep. Did you have a good time?"

“哈罗！”我听见菲芘说。“我睡不着。你们玩得痛快吗？”

"Marvelous," my mother said, but you could tell she didn't mean it. She doesn't enjoy herself much when she goes out. "Why are you awake, may I ask? Were you warm enough?"

“痛快极了，”我母亲说，可你听得出她这话是言不由衷。她每次出去，总不能尽兴。“我问你，你怎么还不睡觉？房间里暖和不暖和？”

"I was warm enough, I just couldn't sleep."

“暖和倒暖和，我就是睡不着。”

"Phoebe, have you been smoking a cigarette in here? Tell me the truth, please, young lady."

“菲芘，你是不是在房里抽烟了？老实告诉我，劳您驾，好小姐。”

"What?" old Phoebe said.

“什么？”老菲芘说。

"You heard me."

“要我再说一遍？”

"I just lit one for one second. I just took one puff. Then I threw it out the window."

“我只点了一秒钟。我只抽了一口烟。随后把烟从窗口扔出去了。”

"Why, may I ask?"

“为什么，请问？”

"I couldn't sleep."

“我睡不着。”

"I don't like that, Phoebe. I don't like that at all," my mother said. "Do you want another blanket?"

“我不喜欢你这样，菲芘。我一点儿也不喜欢，”我母亲说。“你不再要条毯子吗？”

"No, thanks. G'night!" old Phoebe said. She was trying to get rid of her, you could tell.

“不要了，谢谢。祝您晚上好！”老菲芘说。她是想尽快把她打发走，你听得出来。

"How was the movie?" my mother said.

“那电影好看吗？”我母亲说。

"Excellent. Except Alice's mother. She kept leaning over and asking her if she felt grippy during the whole entire movie. We took a taxi home."

“好看极啦。除了爱丽丝的妈妈。她不住地弯过腰来，问她感冒好点儿没有，在整个放映期间简直没有停过。后来我们乘出租汽车回家了。”

"Let me feel your forehead."

“让我来摸摸你的额角看。”

"I didn't catch anything. She didn't have anything. It was just her mother."

“我没有感染到什么。她根本没病。毛病就在她妈妈身上。”

"Well. Go to sleep now. How was your dinner?"

“呃，快睡吧。晚饭怎么样？”

"Lousy," Phoebe said.

“糟糕透啦。”

"You heard what your father said about using that word. What was lousy about it? You had a lovely lamb chop. I walked all over Lexington Avenue just to--"

“什么糟糕不糟糕的，你没听见你爸爸怎么教你用文雅的字眼儿吗？有什么地方糟糕？你吃的是极好的羊排。我都把莱克辛登路走遍啦，就是为了——”

"The lamb chop was all right, but Charlene always breathes on me whenever she puts something down. She breathes all over the food and everything. She breathes on everything."

“羊排倒挺不错，可查丽娜不管往桌上放什么东西，总是冲着我呼气。她也冲着所有的食物呼气。她冲着一切的一切呼气。”

"Well. Go to sleep. Give Mother a kiss. Did you say your prayers?"

“呃，快睡吧。吻妈妈一下。你祷告了没有？”

"I said them in the bathroom. G'night!"

“我是在浴室里祷告的。晚上好！”

"Good night. Go right to sleep now. I have a splitting headache," my mother said. She gets headaches quite frequently. She really does.

“晚上好。现在快给我睡觉。我的头疼得都快裂开来啦，”我母亲说。她常常头疼。一点不假。

"Take a few aspirins," old Phoebe said. "Holden'll be home on Wednesday, won't he?"

“吃几颗阿斯匹林吧，”老菲芘说。“霍尔顿是在星期三回家，对不对？”

"So far as I know. Get under there, now. Way down."

“据我所知是这样。快躺下去。再下去一点儿。”

I heard my mother go out and close the door. I waited a couple of minutes. Then I came out of the closet. I bumped smack into old Phoebe when I did it, because it was so dark and she was out of bed and coming to tell me. "I hurt you?" I said. You had to whisper now, because they were both home. "I gotta get a move on," I said. I found the edge of the bed in the dark and sat down on it and started putting on my shoes. I was pretty nervous. I admit it.

我听见我母亲走出房间，带上了门。我等了一两分钟。跟着我就出了壁橱。我刚一出来；就跟老菲芘撞了个满怀，因为房里漆黑一团，她已从床上起来，想过来告诉我。“我碰疼你了没有？”我说。现在得悄没声儿说话了，因为他们两个都在家。“我得马上就走，”我说。我摸着黑找到了床沿，一屁股坐了下去，开始穿起鞋子来。我心里很紧张。我承认这一点。

"Don't go now," Phoebe whispered. "Wait'll they're asleep!"

“这会儿别走，”菲芘小声说。“等他们睡着了再说！”

"No. Now. Now's the best time," I said. "She'll be in the bathroom and Daddy'll turn on the news or something. Now's the best time." I could hardly tie my shoelaces, I was so damn nervous. Not that they would've killed me or anything if they'd caught me home, but it would've been very unpleasant and all. "Where the hell are ya?" I said to old Phoebe. It was so dark I couldn't see her.

“不。这会儿就走。现在是最好的时刻，”我说。“她正在浴室里，爸爸在收听新闻什么的。现在是最好的时刻。”我连鞋带都系不上了，我真是他妈的紧张得要命。倒不是万一他们发现我在家，就会把我杀了什么的，不过反正是件很不愉快的事。“你他妈的在哪儿呢？”我跟老菲芘说。房间里那么黑，我一点也看不见她。

"Here." She was standing right next to me. I didn't even see her.

“在这儿。”她就站在我身边。我却一点也看不见她。

"I got my damn bags at the station," I said. "Listen. You got any dough, Phoeb? I'm practically broke."

“我的两只混帐手提箱还在车站上呢，”我说。“听着。你身边有钱没有，菲芘？我简直成了个穷光蛋啦。”

"Just my Christmas dough. For presents and all. I haven't done any shopping at all yet."

“只有过圣诞节的钱。买礼物什么的，我可什么也不曾买哩。”

"Oh." I didn't want to take her Christmas dough.

“哦。”我不愿拿她过圣诞节的钱。

"You want some?" she said.

“你要用吗？”她问。

"I don't want to take your Christmas dough."

“我不想用你过圣诞节的钱。”

"I can lend you some," she said. Then I heard her over at D.B.'s desk, opening a million drawers and feeling around with her hand. It was pitch-black, it was so dark in the room. "If you go away, you won't see me in the play," she said. Her voice sounded funny when she said it.

“我可以借你一点儿，”她说。接着我听见她向DB的书桌那儿走去，打开了千百万只抽屉，在里面摸索着。房间里黑得要命，真是伸手不见五指。“你要是离家出走，就看不见我演那场戏了，”她说，说的时候，声音有点儿异样。

"Yes, I will. I won't go way before that. You think I wanna miss the play?" I said. "What I'll do, I'll probably stay at Mr. Antolini's house till maybe Tuesday night. Then I'll come home. If I get a chance, I'll phone ya."

“不，我看得见。我不会在你演戏之前走的。你以为我会不看你演的戏？”我说“我大概在安多里尼先生家里住到星期二晚上。随后我就回家。我要是有机会，就打电话给你。”

"Here," old Phoebe said. She was trying to give me the dough, but she couldn't find my hand.

“钱在这儿，”老菲芘说。她想把钱给我，可是找不到我的手。

"Where?"

“在哪儿？”

She put the dough in my hand.

她把钱放在我手里了。

"Hey, I don't need all this," I said. "Just give me two bucks, is all. No kidding--Here." I tried to give it back to her, but she wouldn't take it.

“嗨，我不要那么多，”我说。“只要给我两块钱就够了。不跟你开玩笑——拿去。”我想把钱还给他，可她不肯收。

"You can take it all. You can pay me back. Bring it to the play."

“你全都拿去好了。你以后可以还我。看戏的时候给我带来好了。”

"How much is it, for God's sake?"

“有多少，老天爷？”

"Eight dollars and eighty-five cents. Sixty-five cents. I spent some."

“八块八毛五。六毛五。我花掉了一些。”

Then, all of a sudden, I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I did it so nobody could hear me, but I did it. It scared hell out of old Phoebe when I started doing it, and she came over and tried to make me stop, but once you get started, you can't just stop on a goddam dime. I was still sitting on the edge of the bed when I did it, and she put her old arm around my neck, and I put my arm around her, too, but I still couldn't stop for a long time. I thought I was going to choke to death or something. Boy, I scared hell out of poor old Phoebe. The damn window was open and everything, and I could feel her shivering and all, because all she had on was her pajamas. I tried to make her get back in bed, but she wouldn't go. Finally I stopped. But it certainly took me a long, long time. Then I finished buttoning my coat and all. I told her I'd keep in touch with her. She told me I could sleep with her if I wanted to, but I said no, that I'd better beat it, that Mr. Antolini was waiting for me and all. Then I took my hunting hat out of my coat pocket and gave it to her. She likes those kind of crazy hats. She didn't want to take it, but I made her. I'll bet she slept with it on. She really likes those kind of hats. Then I told her again I'd give her a buzz if I got a chance, and then I left.

一霎时，我哭了起来。我实在是情不自禁。我尽量不哭出声，可我的确哭了。我一哭，可把老菲芘吓坏了，她走过来想劝住我，可你只要一哭开，就没法看在区区一毛钱份上止住。我哭的时候仍坐在床沿上，她伸过一只胳膊来搂住我的脖子，我也伸出一只胳膊搂住她，可我依旧哭了好久，没法止住。我觉得自己哽咽得都快憋死了。嘿，我把可怜的老菲芘吓坏了。那扇混帐窗子正开着，我感觉得出她正在哆嗦，因为她身上只穿着一套睡衣裤。我想叫她回到床上去，可她不肯。最后我终于止住了。不过的的确确费了我很大很大工夫。接着我扣好大衣上的钮扣。我告诉她说我会跟她保持联系的。她对我说，要是我愿意的话，可以跟她一起睡，可我说不啦，我还是走的好，安多里尼先生正等着我哩。随后我从大衣袋里掏出我那顶猎人帽送给她。她喜爱这一类混帐帽子。她不肯接受，可我让她收下了。我敢打赌她准是戴着这顶帽子睡觉的。她的确喜爱这一类帽子。随后我又告诉她说，我一有机会就打电话给她，说完我就走了出来。

It was a helluva lot easier getting out of the house than it was getting in, for some reason. For one thing, I didn't give much of a damn any more if they caught me. I really didn't. I figured if they caught me, they caught me. I almost wished they did, in a way.

不知什么原因，从屋里出来要比进去他妈的容易多了。主要是，我已经不怕他们发现我了。我真的不怕了。我心想，他们要是发现，就发现吧。说起来，我还真有点儿希望他们发现呢。

I walked all the way downstairs, instead of taking the elevator. I went down the back stairs. I nearly broke my neck on about ten million garbage pails, but I got out all right. The elevator boy didn't even see me. He probably still thinks I'm up at the Dicksteins'.

我一直走下楼去，没乘电梯。我走的是后楼梯，一路上绊着了总有一千万只垃圾桶，差点儿把我的脖子都摔断了，可我终于走了出来。那个开电梯的连看都没看见我。他也许仍旧以为我在楼上狄克斯坦家里呢。