Ah! How cruel is the interval between the conception of a great project and its execution! What vain terrors! What irresolutions! Life is at stake. Far more than life—honour!
SCHILLER
啊！一个伟大的计划从拟订到执行中间的间隙多么难熬啊！多少虚惊！多少犹豫！它关系到生命。远不止生命，它还关系到荣誉！
席勒
'This is becoming serious,' thought Julien … 'and a little too obvious,' he added, after a moment's reflection. 'Why! This pretty young beauty can speak to me in the library with a freedom which, thank heaven, is unrestricted; the Marquis, for fear of my bothering him with accounts, never comes there. Why! M. de La Mole and Comte Norbert, the only people who ever show their faces here, are absent almost all day; it is easy to watch for the moment of their return to the house, and the sublime Mathilde, for whose hand a Sovereign Prince would not be too noble, wishes me to commit an act of abominable imprudence!
“这下可严重了，”于连想……“而且太明显了，”他想了想之后又说，“这位美丽的小姐可以在图书室里跟我谈，感谢天主，她有完全的自由；侯爵怕我让他看帐，从不到图书室来。怎么！德·拉莫尔先生和诺贝尔伯爵，这两个唯一上这儿来的人几乎整天不在家；他们什么时候回府，也很容易看见，而崇高的玛蒂尔德，即使向她求婚的是一位君王也算不得过于高贵，却要我干一件糟糕透顶的冒失事！
It is clear, they wish to ruin me, or to make a fool of me, at least. First of all, they sought to ruin me by my letters; these proved cautious; very well, now they require an action that shall be as clear as daylight. These pretty little gentlemen think me too simple or too conceited. The devil!With the brightest moon you ever saw, to climb up by a ladder to a first floor, five and twenty feet from the ground! They will have plenty of time to see me, even from the neighbouring houses. I shall be a fine sight on my ladder!' Julien went up to his room and began to pack his trunk, whistling as he did so. He had made up his mind to go, and not even to answer the letter.
“显然，他们想毁了我，至少也要嘲弄我。他们先是想用我的信来毁掉我，幸亏我的信写得谨慎；那好！他们现在需要一个光天化日之下的行动。这些漂亮的小先生们以为我太傻或者太狂。见鬼去吧！顶着最亮的大月亮，爬梯子上二十五尺高的二层楼！他们有的是时间能看见我，即使邻近府邸里的人也能。我爬在梯子上可好看啦！”于连上楼回到自己的房间，一边吹口哨，一边整理箱子。他已决心走了，信也不回。
But this sage resolution gave him no peace of heart. 'If, by any chance,' he said to himself, suddenly, his trunk packed and shut, 'Mathilde were sincere! Then I shall be cutting in her eyes the most perfect figure of a coward. I have no birth, so I require great qualities, ready on demand, with no flattering suppositions, qualities proved by eloquent deeds … '
然而这一明智的决定并没有给他带来内心的平静。“万一玛蒂尔德是真的呢！”他关上箱子，突然对自己说，“那我就在她的眼中扮演了一个十足的懦夫的角色了。而我，我没有高贵的出身，我必须有伟大的品质，这可是现钱，不是好听的假设；由响当当的行动证明过了的……”
He spent a quarter of an hour pacing the floor of his room. 'What use in denying it?' he asked himself, at length; 'I shall be a coward in her eyes. I lose not only the most brilliant young person in high society, as everyone was saying at M. le Duc de Retz's ball, but, furthermore, the heavenly pleasure of seeing her throw over for me the Marquis de Croisenois, the son of a Duke, and a future Duke himself. A charming young man who has all the qualities that I lack: a ready wit, birth, fortune …
他反来复去思考了一刻钟。“否认有什么用？”他终于说道，“我在她眼里将是一个懦夫。我失去了上流社会最出色的女人，在德·雷斯公爵的舞会上大家都这么说，而且也失去了极大的快乐，看不见德·克鲁瓦绎努瓦侯爵为了我而被牺牲了。他可是公爵的儿子，自己将来也要当上公爵。一个可爱的年轻人，有着我所缺少的种种优点：机智、高贵的出身、财富……
'This remorse will pursue me all my life, not for her, there are heaps of mistresses, "but only one honour", as old Don Diego says, and here I am clearly and plainly recoiling from the first peril that comes my way; for that duel with M. de Beauvoisis was a mere joke. This is quite different. I may be shot pointblank by a servant, but that is the least danger; I may forfeit my honour.
“这个悔恨要折磨我一辈子，不是因为她，情妇有的是名誉只有一个！……老唐·狄哀格这么说，而现在，显而易见的是，我在遇到的第一个危险面前退却了，因为跟德·博瓦西先生的决斗不过是个玩笑罢了。这一次可完全不同了。我可能成为一个仆人射击的靶子，不过这还是最小的危险，我可能名誉扫地。
'This is becoming serious, my boy,' he went on, with a Gascon gaiety and accent. 'Honur is at stake. A poor devil kept down by fate in my lowly station will never find such an opportunity again; I shall have adventures, but tawdry ones … '
“这下可严重了，我的孩子，”他学着加斯科涅人的口音快活地补充说，“事关名誉呀。一个被命运抛到像我这么低的地位上的可怜虫，绝不会再找到这样的机会了；我以后会交上好运的，但总会差些……”
He reflected at length, he paced the room with a hurried step, stopping short now and again. There stood in his room a magnificent bust in marble of Cardinal Richelieu, which persistently caught his eye. This bust appeared to be gazing at him sternly, as though reproaching him for the want of that audacity which ought to be so natural to the French character. 'In thy time, great man, should I have hesitated?
他沉思良久，迈着急促的步子走来走去，时不时地突然停住。他的卧室里放着一尊德·黎塞留红衣主教的精美大理石胸像，不觉间吸引住他的目光。这尊胸像好像在严厉地望着他，责备他缺乏在法国人的性格中如此自然的那种大胆。“在你那个时代，伟大的人啊，我会犹豫吗？”
'At the worst,' Julien told himself finally, 'let us suppose that all this is a plot, it is a very dark one, and highly compromising for a young girl.They know that I am not the man to keep silent. They will therefore have to kill me. That was all very well in 1574, in the days of Boniface de La Mole, but the La Mole of today would never dare. These people are not the same now. Mademoiselle de La Mole is so envied! Four hundred drawing-rooms would echo with her disgrace next day, and with what rejoicing!
“往最坏里说，”他最后想，“假定这一切是个圈套，那对一个女孩子来说也是很危险、很麻烦的。他们知道我不是一个钳口不言的人。要我不说话，得杀了我才行。这在一五七四年，在博尼法斯·德·拉莫尔那个时代可以，而现在，没人敢。如今的这些人不一样了。德·拉莫尔小姐受到那样的嫉妒！明天，她的耻辱就会传进四百个客厅，而且是怎样地津津乐道啊！
'The servants chatter among themselves of the marked preference that is shown me; I know it, I have heard them …
“仆人们私下里叽叽喳喳，议论我受到明显的偏爱，我知道，我听见过……
'On the other hand, her letters!… They may suppose that I have them on me. They surprise me in her room, and take them from me. I shall have two, three, four, any number of men to deal with. But these men, where will they collect them? Where is one to find discreet agents in Paris? They are afraid of the law… Gad! It will be the Caylus and Croisenois and de Luz themselves. The thought of that moment, and the foolish figure I shall cut there among them will be what has tempted them. Beware the fate of Abelard, Master Secretary!
“另一方面，她的信！……他们可能以为我会把信随身带着。他们在她的卧室里把我抓住，把信枪走。我可能要对付两个人、三个人、四个人，谁知道呢？可是他们到哪几去找这样的人呢？在巴黎什么地方能雇到嘴严的人呢？法律让他们害怕……当然罗！一定是凯吕斯们、克鲁瓦泽努瓦们、吕兹们自己来干。这种时刻，还有我在他们中间露出的傻相，一定已把他们迷住了。当心阿贝拉尔的命运啊，秘书先生！
'Begad, then, gentlemen, you shall bear the mark of my fists, I shall strike at your faces, like Caesar's soldiers at Pharsalia … As for the letters, I can put them in a safe place.'
“好吧！等着瞧！先生们，我会让你们挂上彩的，我会像凯撒的士兵在法萨罗那样朝脸上打……至于信嘛，我可以放在安全的地方。”
Julien made copies of the two last, concealed them in a volume of the fine Voltaire from the library, and went himself with the originals to the post.
于连把最后两封信各抄了一份，夹在图书室里那套精美的伏尔泰全集的一卷里，原信则亲自送到邮局。
When he returned: 'Into what madness am I rushing!' he said to himself with surprise and terror. He had been a quarter of an hour without considering his action of the coming night in all its aspects.
他回来之后，又惊奇又害怕地对自己说：“我将投身于怎样的疯狂啊！”他竟有一刻钟不曾正面考虑他当夜要采取的行动。
'But, if I refuse, I must despise myself ever afterwards. All my lifelong, that action will be a matter for doubt to me, and such a doubt is the most bitter agony. Have I not felt it over Amanda's lover? I believe that I should find it easier to forgive myself what was clearly a crime; once I had confessed it, I should cease to think about it.
“但是，如果我拒绝，以后我会自己看不起自己的！这会成为我毕生反复怀疑的对象，而这样的怀疑乃是不幸中最大的不幸。我不是对阿芒达的情夫已经体验过了吗！要是一桩很明确的罪行，我相信我会比较容易地饶恕我自己；一旦承认了，我就置诸脑后。
'What! I shall have been the rival of a man bearing one of the best names in France, and I myself, with a light heart, am to declare myself his inferior! Indeed, there is a strain of cowardice in not going. That word settles everything,' cried Julien, springing to his feet… 'besides, she is a real beauty!
“怎么！我要跟一个拥有全法国最高贵的姓氏之—的人竞争，而我自己将很乐意表示甘拜下风！实际上，不去就显懦弱。这句话决定一切，”于连嚷道，站了起来……“再说，她真漂亮！”
'If this is not treachery, how foolishly she is behaving for me!… If it is a mystification, begad, gentlemen, it rests with me to turn the jest to earnest, and so I shall.
“如果这不是背叛，那她为我干出的是怎样的疯狂啊！……如果这是愚弄，当然罗，先生们，是否认真对待这种玩笑，那就在我了，而我会认真对待的。
'But if they pinion my arms, the moment I enter the room; they may have set some diabolical machine there ready for me!
“可是，要是我进去时他们捆住我的胳膊呢，他们可能已经在里面装了什么巧妙的机关了！
'It is like a duel,' he told himself with a laugh, 'there is a parry for every thrust, my fencing master says, but the Almighty, who likes things to end, makes one of the fighters forget to parry. Anyhow, here is what will answer them'; he drew his pocket pistols; and, albeit they were fully charged, renewed the primings.
“这好像是一场决斗，”他笑着对自己说，“我的剑术教师说过，有进招就有破招，但是仁慈的天主希望有个了结，就让两个人中的一个忘记招架。再说，我有东西回敬他们。”他从口袋里掏出两把手抢，尽管火药还有效，他还是换过了。
There were still many hours to wait; in order to have something to do, Julien wrote to Fouque: 'My friend, open the enclosed letter only in case of accident, if you hear it said that something strange has befallen me.Then, erase the proper names from the manuscript that I am sending you, and make eight copies of it which you will send to the newspapers of Marseilles, Bordeaux, Lyons, Brussels, etc.; ten days later, have the manuscript printed, send the first copy to M. le Marquis de La Mole, and a fortnight after that, scatter the other copies by night about the streets of Verrieres.'
还要等好几个钟头，为了找点儿事情做，于连给富凯写信：“我的朋友，只有在发生意外的情况下，你听人说我遇到了怪事，才可以拆开所附的信件。到那时，把我寄给你的手稿上的专名去掉，抄八份寄给马赛、波尔多、里昂，布鲁塞尔等地的报馆。十天以后，把手稿印出来，先寄一份给德·拉莫尔侯爵先生，半个月后，把余下的在夜间撒向维里埃的大街小巷。”
This brief exonerating memoir, arranged in the form of a tale, which Fouque was to open only in case of accident, Julien made as little compromising as possible to Mademoiselle de La Mole, but, nevertheless, it described his position very accurately.
这份短短的为自己辩白的回忆录，以故事的形式写成，富凯只有在发生意外时才能拆看，于连尽可能不牵扯德·拉莫尔小姐，不过他还是非常准确地描绘了他的处境。
He had just sealed his packet when the dinner bell rang; it made his heart beat violently. His imagination, preoccupied with the narrative which he had just composed, was a prey to all sorts of tragic presentiment. He had seen himself seized by servants, garrotted, carried down to a cellar with a gag in his mouth. There, one of them kept a close watch over him, and if the honour of the noble family required that the adventure should have a tragic ending, it was easy to end everything with one of those poisons which leave no trace; then, they would say that he had died a natural death, and would take his dead body back to his room.
于连刚封好包裹，晚饭的铃声响了；他的心怦怦跳了起来。他的想象力还在他刚写的故事里，尽是悲剧性的预感。他看到自己被仆人抓住，捆起来，嘴里塞着东西，被带进地下室。一个仆人看着他，如果贵族家庭的荣誉要求这件事有一个悲惨的结局，使用那种不留痕迹的毒药，很容易了结这一切；那时，可以说他死于疾病，然后把他的尸体抬回他的房间。
Carried away by his own story like a dramatic author, Julien was really afraid when he entered the dining-room. He looked at all the servants in full livery. He studied their expressions. 'Which of them have been chosen for tonight's expedition?' he asked himself. 'In this family, the memories of the Court of Henri in are so present, so often recalled, that, when they think themselves outraged, they will show more decision than other people of their rank.' He looked at Mademoiselle de La Mole in order to read in her eyes what were the plans of her family; she was pale, and had quite a mediaeval appearance. Never had he found such an air of grandeur in her, she was truly beautiful and imposing. He almost fell in love with her. 'Pallida morte futura,' he told himself, 'her pallor betokens that something serious is afoot.'
像个悲惨故事的作者一样，于连也被自己编的故事打动了，进入餐厅时竟真地感到了恐惧。他—个个看过那些穿着华丽号衣的仆人。他研究他们的相貌。“被选派执行今晚任务的是哪几个呢？”他想。“在这个家里，总是念念不忘亨利三世的宫廷，也常常提及，若是他们认为受到了冒犯，做起事来要比其他同等地位的人更为果断。”他望着德·拉莫尔小姐，想从她的眼神里看出她家里人的打算；她脸色苍白，完全是一副中世纪的模样。他从未发现她的气度如此崇高，她的确美丽、威严。他几乎要爱上她了，“预感到死，脸色苍白，”他对自己说（她的苍白宣布了她的伟大计划）。
In vain, after dinner, did he prolong his stroll in the garden, Mademoiselle de La Mole did not come out. Conversation with her would, at that moment, have relieved his heart of a great burden.
晚饭后，他装作散步，进了花园、但是枉费心机，等了许久也不见德·拉莫尔小姐露面。这个时候跟她谈谈，也许会解除他心上的重负。
Why not confess it? He was afraid. As he was determined to act, he abandoned himself to this sentiment without shame. 'Provided that at the moment of action, I find the courage that I require,' he said to himself, 'what does it matter how I may be feeling now?' He went to reconnoitre the position and to try the weight of the ladder.
为什么不承认呢？他害怕。由于他决心行动，他就无所顾忌地沉浸在这种感觉里了。“只要我能在行动的时候找到必需的勇气，”他对自己说，“此刻我感觉到什么有何关系？”他去察看地势和梯子的份量。
'It is an instrument,' he said to himself, with a laugh, 'which it is written in my destiny that I am to use! Here as at Verrieres. What a difference! Then,' he continued with a sigh, 'I was not obliged to be suspicious of the person for whose sake I was exposing myself. What a difference, too, in the danger!
“我命中注定要使用这种工具！”他笑着对自己说，“在这里如同在维里埃。多么不同啊！那时候，”他叹了口气，“我不必怀疑我为之冒险的那个人。而且危险也多么地不同啊！”
'I might have been killed in M. de Renal's gardens without any harm to my reputation. It would have been easy to make my death unaccountable. Here, what abominable tales will they not bandy about in the drawing-rooms of the Hotel de Chaulnes, the Hotel de Caylus, the Hotel de Retz, and in short everywhere? I shall be handed down to posterity as a monster.
“我要是被打死在德·菜纳先生的花园里，我根本不会丢脸。人们很容易把我的死说成是原因不明。在这儿，什么可恶的故事不会编造出来啊，在德·肖纳府，德·凯吕斯府，德·雪斯府，等等，总之在所有的地方。我在后人眼中成了恶魔了。”
'For two or three years,' he added, laughing at himself. But the thought of this overwhelmed him. 'And I, who is going to justify me? Supposing that Fouque prints my posthumous pamphlet, it will be only an infamy the more. What! I am received in a house, and in payment for the hospitality I receive there, the kindness that is showered upon me, I print a pamphlet reporting all that goes on in the house! I attack the honour of its women! Ah, a thousand times rather, let us be trapped!'
“在两、三年内，”他笑着说，不免自嘲一番。但是这个想法让他泄气。“谁能替我辩白呢？就算富凯把我留下的小册子印出来，不过是又多了一种耻辱罢了。怎么！一个人家收留了我，我得到殷勤的接待，无微不至的关怀，可是作为回报，我却刊印小册子，抨击那里发生的事，败坏女人的名誉！阿！万万不行，我们宁愿蒙在鼓里！”
It was a terrible evening.
这个晚上是可怕的。