And she admits it to me! She goes into the minutest details! Her lovely eye fixed on mine reveals the love that she felt for another!
SCHILLER
她向我承认了！连最细小的细节她都详详细细地说出来！她那双如此美丽的眼睛注视着我的眼睛，流露出他对另外一个人感到的爱情！
席勒
Mademoiselle de La Mole, in an ecstasy, could think only of the felicity of having come within an inch of being killed. She went so far as to say to herself: 'He is worthy to be my master, since he has been on the point of killing me. How many of the good-looking young men in society would one have to fuse together to arrive at such an impulse of passion?
玛蒂尔德陶醉了，一心只想着差点儿被情人杀死的幸福。她甚至对自己说：“他配做我的主人，既然他差点儿杀了我。要把多少上流社会的漂亮青年熔化在一起，才能得到这样一个充满激情的举动呢？”
'One must admit that he did look handsome when he climbed on the chair, to replace the sword, precisely in the picturesque position which the decorator had chosen for it! After all, I was not such a fool to fall in love with him.'
“应该承认，他登上椅子，把剑准确地放回室内装饰师为它安排的那个别致的位置上，这时候他真漂亮！说到底，我爱上他并非那么荒唐呀。”
At that moment, had any honourable way of renewing their relations presented itself, she would have seized it with pleasure. Julien, locked and double locked in his room, was a prey to the most violent despair. In the height of his folly, he thought of flinging himself at her feet. If, instead of remaining hidden in a remote corner, he had wandered through the house and into the garden, so as to be within reach of any opportunity, he might perhaps in a single instant have converted his fearful misery into the keenest happiness.
此时此刻，如果有什么重归于好的体面办法，她会高高兴兴地抓住不放的。于连关在房里，上了两道锁，正在最强烈的绝望中苦苦煎熬。他脑子里转着种种疯狂的念头，他想到去扑倒在她的脚下。如果他不是躲在一个偏僻的地方，而是在花园里和府邸中到处转转，他可能刹那间就把他那可怕的不幸变成最强烈的幸福。
But the adroitness with the want of which we are reproaching him would have debarred the sublime impulse of seizing the sword which, at that moment, made him appear so handsome in the eyes of Mademoiselle de La Mole. This caprice, which told in Julien's favour, lasted for the rest of the day; Mathilde formed a charming impression of the brief moments during which she had loved him, and looked back on them with regret.
我们责备他不够机灵，然而他若机灵，就不会有那拔剑的豪举，恰恰是这豪举使他此刻在德·拉莫尔小姐眼中变得如此漂亮。这种对于连的反复无常的痴情持续了一整天；玛蒂尔德把她爱他的短暂时刻想象得很迷人，失去了就感到惋惜。
'Actually,' she said to herself, 'my passion for that poor boy lasted, in his eyes, only from one o'clock in the morning, when I saw him arrive by his ladder, with all his pistols in the side pocket of his coat, until eight. It was at a quarter past eight, when hearing mass at Sainte Valere, that it first occurred to me that he would imagine himself to be my master, and might try to make me obey him by force of terror.'
“事实上，”她对自己说，“我对这个可怜的孩子的热情，在他看来，只是从午夜一点钟我看见他衣服侧兜里带着枪从梯子爬上来的时候起，持续到早晨八点钟。一刻钟以后，在圣瓦莱尔教堂听弥撒时，我才开始想他要以为成了我的主人了，他很可能用恐怖的手段迫使我服从。”
After dinner, Mademoiselle de La Mole, far from avoiding Julien, spoke to him, and almost ordered him to accompany her to the garden; he obeyed. This proved too much for her self-control. Mathilde yielded, almost unconsciously, to the love which she began to feel for him. She found an intense pleasure in strolling by his side, it was with curiosity that she gazed at his hands which that morning had seized the sword to kill her.
晚饭后，德·拉莫尔小姐非但没有躲避于连，反而找他说话，差不多是催促他跟她到花园里去；他服从了。他毕竟没受过这种考验。不知不觉中，玛蒂尔德屈服了，又对他动了情。她在他身边散步，感到极为快乐，好奇地望着那双手，这双手早晨曾经握住剑要杀死她。
After such an action, after all that had passed, there could no longer be any question of their conversing on the same terms as before.
有过这样的举动，发生过那一切之后，他们过去那样的谈话不会再有了。
Gradually Mathilde began to talk to him with an intimate confidence of the state of her heart. She found a strange delight in this kind of conversation; she proceeded to tell him of the fleeting impulses of enthusiasm which she had felt for M. de Croisenois, for M. de Caylus …
渐渐地，玛蒂尔德跟他说起知心话，谈到她的感情的历程。她在这种谈话里发现了一种奇异的快感，她甚至跟他讲述了她对德·克鲁瓦泽努瓦先生、德·凯吕斯先生有过的短暂的热情冲动……
'What! For M. de Caylus as well!' cried Julien; and all the bitter jealousy of a past jilted lover was made manifest in his words. Mathilde received them in that light, and was not offended.
“怎么！对德·凯吕斯先生也有过！”于连叫了起来，一个被冷落的情人所感到的痛苦和嫉妒，全在这句话里爆发出来了。玛蒂尔德看出来了，但是一点几也不生气。
She continued to torture Julien, detailing her past feelings in the most picturesque fashion, and in accents of the most absolute sincerity. He saw that she was describing what was present before her eyes. He had the grief of remarking that as she spoke she made fresh discoveries in her own heart.
她继续折磨于连，细细地讲她的旧情，讲得有声有色，尽是推心置腹的由衷之言，他看得出来，她描绘的是历历如在眼前的事情。他痛苦地注意到，她一边说，一边在她自己的心中有了新的发现。
The agony of jealousy can go no farther.
由嫉妒产生的不幸不能再大了。
The suspicion that a rival is loved is painful enough already, but to have the love that he inspires in her confessed to one in detail by the woman whom one adores is without doubt the acme of suffering.
疑心情敌仍被爱着，这已经很残酷了；而自己还在倾听钟爱的女人巨细无遗地供认情敌唤起的爱情，那无疑是痛苦的顶点了。
Oh, how she punished, at that moment, the impulse of pride which had led Julien to set himself above all the Caylus and Croisenois! With what an intense and heartfelt misery he now exaggerated their most trivial advantages! With what ardent sincerity he now despised himself!
啊，促使于连自认胜过凯吕斯们、克鲁瓦泽努瓦们的那些骄傲的冲动，此时此刻受到了多么严厉的惩罚啊！他是怀着怎样的深切而真实的痛苦夸大他们那些最微小的优势啊！他又是怀着怎样热烈的诚意蔑视自己啊！
Mathilde seemed adorable to him, language fails to express the intensity of his admiration. As he walked by her side, he cast furtive glances at her hands, her arms, her regal bearing. He was on the point of falling at her feet, crushed with love and misery, and crying: 'Pity!'
他觉得玛蒂尔修是值得崇拜的，任何语言都无力表达他对她的极度崇拜。他在她身边走着，偷偷地望着她的手，她的胳膊，她那女王般的仪态。他已被爱情和不幸摧垮，就要跪倒在她的脚下，喊出来：“怜悯我吧！”
'And this creature who is so lovely, so superior to all the rest, who has once loved me, it is M. de Caylus whom, no doubt, she will presently be loving!'
这个如此美丽、如此高高在上的女人，曾经一度爱过我，然而她无疑会很快爱上的却是德·凯吕斯先生！”
Julien could not doubt Mademoiselle de La Mole's sincerity; the accent of truth was all too evident in everything that she said. That absolutely nothing might be wanting to complete his misery, there were moments when, by dint of occupying her mind with the sentiments which she had at one time felt for M. de Caylus, Mathilde was led to speak of him as though she loved him still. Certainly there was love in her accents, Julien could see it plainly.
于连不能怀疑德·拉莫尔小姐的真诚，在她所说的那一切中，真话的口吻太明显了。为了让他的不幸绝对地完整无缺，有时候她一心想着她曾一度对德·凯吕斯先生怀有的感情，谈起来竞仿佛眼下还爱着他似的。在她的口气中肯定有爱情，于连看得清清楚楚。
Had his bosom been flooded with a mass of molten lead, he would have suffered less. How, arrived at this extreme pitch of misery, was the poor boy to guess that it was because she was talking to him that Mademoiselle de La Mole found such pleasure in recalling all the niceties of love that she had felt in the past for M. de Caylus or M. de Luz?
就是在他的胸中灌满熔铅，他也没有这么痛苦。这可怜的小伙子己经到了痛不欲生的程度，他如何能够猜到，正是由于跟他谈话，德·拉莫尔小姐才怀着那么多的乐趣回想她对值·凯吕斯先生或者德·吕兹先生曾经有过的那一点点没有结果的爱情？
No words could express Julien's anguish. He was listening to the detailed confidences of the love felt for others in that same lime walk where, so few days since, he had waited for one o'clock to strike before making his way into her room. Human nature is incapable of enduring misery at a higher pitch than this.
什么也表达不了于连的剧痛。不多天以前，他在这条椴树成荫的小路上等着一点钟敲响，爬进她的屋里，而今在这同一条小路上他听着对别人的爱情的巨细无遗的倾诉。一个人是不能承受比这更强烈的不幸的。
This kind of cruel intimacy lasted for a whole week. Mathilde now appeared to seek, now did not shun opportunities of speaking to him; and the subject of conversation, to which they seemed both to return with a sort of torturing pleasure, was the recital of the sentiments that she had felt for others; she recounted to him the letters that she had written, told him the very words of them, repeated whole sentences. On the final days she seemed to be studying Julien with a sort of malignant delight. His sufferings were a source of keen enjoyment to her.
这种残酷的亲密持续了八整天。谈话的机会嘛，玛蒂尔德时而像是在寻找，时而是来则不避；他们俩好像都怀着一种残酷的快感时时回到的话题，乃是叙述她对别人曾经有过的感情。她向他谈起她写过的信，直到信里的词句，甚至整句整句地背。最后几天，她似乎怀着一钟恶意的乐趣凝视着于连。他的痛苦就是她的强烈的快乐。
We can see that Julien had no experience of life, he had not even read any novels; if he had been a little less awkward, and had said with a certain coldness to this girl, whom he so adored and who made him such strange confidences: 'Admit that though I am not the equal of all these gentlemen, it is still myself that you love … 'Perhaps she would have been glad to have her secret guessed; at any rate his success would have depended entirely upon the grace with which Julien expressed this idea, and the moment that he chose.However that might be, he came out well, and yith advantage to himself, from a situation which was tending to become monotonous in Mathilde's eyes.
可以看出，于连毫无人生经验，甚至没有读过小说；他若不那么笨，若能稍许冷静地对受到他如此崇拜又向他说了些如此奇特的知心话的女孩子说：“承认吧，我是不如那些先生，可您爱的是我……”也许她就会因为被猜中了心思而感到幸福，至少成功会完全取决于于连表达这个想法的风度和他选择的时机。无论如何，他可以有利地摆脱一种就要在玛蒂尔德眼中变得单调乏味的局面。
'And you no longer love me, me who adore you!' Julien said |o her one day, desperate with love and misery. It was almost Sh(the)） worst blunder that he could have made.
“您不再爱我了，可是我崇拜您！”一天，于连被爱情和不幸搅得昏头昏脑，对她说。这差不多是他所能干出的最大的蠢事了。
This speech destroyed in an instant all the pleasure that Mademoiselle de La Mole found in speaking to him of the state of her heart. She was beginning to feel astonished that after what had happened he did not take offence at her confidences, he was on the point of imagining, at the moment when he made this foolish speech, that perhaps he no longer loved her. 'Pride has doubtless quenched his love,' she said to herself.'He is not the man to see himself set with impunity beneath creatures like Caylus, de Luz, Croisenois, who he admits are so far his superiors. No, I shall never see him at my feet again!'
德·拉莫尔小姐从对他谈论自己的感情历程中得到的全部快乐，一瞬间被这句话摧毁了。她开始感到奇怪，在发生了那一切之后，他居然没有对她的叙述发火，就在他说这句套话之前，她甚至想象他己经不爱她了。“骄傲无疑已经扼杀了他的爱情，”她对自己说。“他不是那种人，能眼睁睁地看着自己白白地被置于凯吕斯、德·吕兹、克鲁瓦泽努瓦那样的人之下，虽然他承认他们的地位比他高得多。不，我不会再看到他葡伏在我的脚下了！”
On the preceding days, in the artlessness of his misery, Julien had paid a heartfelt tribute to the brilliant qualities of these gentlemen; he went so far as to exaggerate them. This change of attitude had by no means escaped the notice of Mademoiselle de La Mole; it had surprised her, but she did not suspect the reason or it. Julien's frenzied soul, in praising a rival whom he believed to be loved, sympathised with that rival in his good fortune.
前几天，于连痛极生真，常常在她面前诚心诚意地称赞那些先生们的杰出品质，甚至言过其实。这种微妙的变化没有逃过德·拉莫尔小姐的眼睛，她感到惊讶，但是一点儿也猜不出原因。于连那狂热的心灵，在颂扬一位他相信仍被爱着的情敌的同时，正分享着他的幸福。
This speech, so frank but so stupid, altered the whole situation an instant: Mathilde, certain of being loved, despised him completely.
他的话如此坦率，也如此愚蠢，倾刻间改变了一切：玛蒂尔德确信自己被爱上，就彻底地鄙视他了。
She was strolling with him at the moment of this unfortunate utterance; she left him, and her final glance was expressive of the most bitter scorn. Returning to the drawing-room, for the rest of the evening she never looked at him again. Next day, this scorn of him had entire possession of her heart; there was no longer any question of the impulse which, for a whole week, had made her find such pleasure in treating Julien as her most intimate friend; the sight of him was repulsive to her.Mathilde's feeling reached the point of disgust; no words could express the intensity of the scorn that she felt when her eyes happened to fall on him.
她正跟他一起散步，这些蠢话一出口，她立即离他而去，临走那一道目光里流露出最可怕的鄙视。回到客厅，她整个晚上不再看他一眼。第二天，她的心里还满是这种鄙视；使她八天之中把于连当作最亲密的朋友而得到那么多快乐的那种冲动，如今已不复存在；看见他，她感到不快。玛蒂尔德的感觉一变而为厌恶。她看见他时感到的那种过分的鄙视，无法形诸笔墨。
Julien had understood nothing of all that had been happening in Mathilde's heart, but for the past week he discerned her scorn. He had the good sense to appear in her presence as rarely as possible, and never looked her in the face.
于连对八天以来的玛蒂尔德心中的变化茫然无知，然而他分辨得出鄙视。他很知趣，尽可能少地在她眼前露面，也从不看她。
But it was not without a mortal anguish that he deprived himself to some extent of her company. He thought he could feel that his misery was thereby actually increased. 'The courage of a man's heart can go no farther,' he told himself. He spent all his time at a little window in the attics of the house; the shutters were carefully closed, and from there, at least, he could catch a glimpse of Mademoiselle de La Mole when she appeared in the garden.
他可以说是主动地放弃看见她的机会，然而他并非不曾感到一种要命的痛苦。他相信感觉到了自己的痛苦还在加深。“一个男子汉的勇气不可能承受得更多了，”他对自己说。他把时光消磨在府邸顶楼的一扇小窗前，百叶窗仔细地关好，至少，德·莱纳小姐到花园里来的时候，他能从那儿看见她。
What were his feelings when, after dinner, he saw her strolling with M. de Caylus, M. de Luz or any of the others for whom she had avowed some slight amorous inclination in the past?
晚饭以后，他看见她和德·凯吕斯，德·吕兹先生或某位她承认曾动过情的先生一起散步，他会怎样呢？
Julien had had no idea of such an intensity of misery; he was on the point of crying aloud; that resolute heart was at last reduced to utter helplessness.
于连没有想到他的不幸会如此强烈，他几乎要大吼几声，这颗如此坚强的心灵终于被搅了个底朝天。
Any thought that was not of Mademoiselle de La Mole had become odious to him; he was incapable of writing the most simple letters.
凡是与德·拉莫尔小姐无关的念头，他都觉得丑恶；他连最简单的信也不能写了。
'You are crazy,' the Marquis said to him.
“您疯了。”侯爵对他说。
Julien, trembling with fear of a disclosure, pleaded illness and managed to make himself believed. Fortunately for him, the Marquis teased him at dinner over his coming journey: Mathilde gathered that it might be prolonged. For several days now Julien had been avoiding her, and the brilliant young men who had everything that was lacking in this creature so pale and sombre, once loved by her, had no longer the power to distract her from her dreams.
于连害怕被识破，就推说有病，居然说得侯爵信了。他真是幸运，候爵在吃晚饭时拿他即将上路的旅行打趣。玛蒂尔德知道了，这次旅行可能时间很长。于连躲避她己有好几天了，而那些年轻人，虽然如此出色，拥有她曾经爱过的这个苍白阴沉的人所缺少的—切，也已无力把她从梦幻中拖出来了。
'An ordinary girl,' she said to herself, 'would have sought for the man of her choice among the young fellows who attract every eye in a drawing-room; but one of the characteristics of genius is not to let its thoughts move in the rut traced by the common herd.
“一个平常的女孩子，”她对自己说，“会在这些吸引全客厅的目光的年轻人中寻找中意的人；然而天才的特征之一，是不让自己的思想踏上凡夫俗子走过的老路。
'As the partner of such a man as Julien, who lacks nothing but the fortune which I possess, I shall continue to attract attention, I shall by no means pass unperceived through life. So far from incessantly dreading a Revolution like my cousins, who, in their fear of the people, dare not scold a postilion who drives them badly, I shall be certain of playing a part and a great part, for the man of my choice has character and an unbounded ambition. What does he lack? Friends? Money? I can give him all that.' But in her thoughts she treated Julien rather as an inferior being who can be made to love one when one wills.
“于连只不过是没有财产，但是我有啊，作他这样的人的伴侣，我会继续引人注目，我在生活中绝不会湮没无闻。我可不像我的那些表姐妹，老是害怕发生革命，她们害怕人民，不敢训斥不会赶车的马车夫，而我肯定会扮演一个角色，一个伟大的角色，因为我选择的人有性格，野心勃勃。他缺什么？朋友？钱？我给他。”然而，她在思想中多少把于连看作下人，想让他爱，就让他爱。