Alas! why these things and not others!
BEAUMARCHAIS
唉！为什么事情是这样，而不是别样？
博马舍
An English traveller relates how he lived upon intimate terms with a tiger; he had reared it and used to play with it, but always kept a loaded pistol on the table.
一位英国旅行者说他和一只老虎亲密相处，他养大了它，爱抚它，然而桌子上总是放着一把上了膛的手枪。
Julien abandoned himself to the full force of his happiness only at those moments when Mathilde could not read the expression of it in his eyes. He was punctilious in his performance of the duty of addressing a few harsh words to her from time to time.
于连只有在玛蒂尔德不能在他的眼睛里看出他那极度幸福的表情时，才可忘情地享受。他一丝不苟地履行职责，即不时地对她说上几句严厉的话。
When Mathilde's meekness, which he observed with astonishment,and the intensity of her devotion came near to destroying all his self-control, he had the courage to leave her abruptly.
他惊奇地发现玛蒂尔德变得温柔了，当这种温柔和她那过分的忠诚就要使他控制不住自己的时候，他竞有勇气突然地离开她。
For the first time Mathilde was in love.
玛蒂尔德生平第一次爱上了。
Life, which had always crawled for her at a snail's pace, now flew.
过去她总觉得生活像乌龟般一步步地爬，现在却飞起来了。
As it was essential, nevertheless, that her pride should find some outlet, she sought to expose herself with temerity to all the risks that her love could make her run. It was Julien who showed prudence; and it was only when there was any question of danger that she did not comply with his wishes; but, submissive, and almost humble towards him, she showed all the more arrogance towards anyone else who came near her in the house, relatives and servants alike.
不过，骄傲总还是冒冒头儿，她想大胆地面对爱情能够让她经历的种种危险；倒是于连谨慎从事，也只是在有危险的时候她才不顺从他的 意志。她跟他在一起时是温顺的，甚至是谦卑的，但是对家里身边的人，无论是亲属还是仆人，她是更加傲慢了。
In the evenings in the drawing-room, she would summon Julien, and would hold long conversations with him in private.
晚上在客厅里，她常常当着六十个人的面，把于连叫过来单独说话，而且时间很长。
Little Tanbeau took his place one evening beside them; she asked him to go to the library and fetch her the volume of Smollett which dealt with the Revolution of 1688; and as he seemed to hesitate: There is no need to hurry,' she went on with an expression of insulting arrogance, which was balm to Julien's spirit.
一天，小唐博在他们身旁，她求他去图书室为她找斯摩莱待的那本谈一六八八年革命的书；他迟疑了一下，她便说：“您倒是什么都不急 呀，”表情是一种令人感到屈辱的高傲，这对于连的心是一大安慰。
'Did you notice the look in that little monster's eyes?' he asked her.
“您注意到这小怪物的眼神了吗？”于连对她说。
'His uncle has done ten or twelve years of service in this drawing-room, otherwise I should have him shown the door this instant.'
“他的伯父在这间客厅里侍奉了十一、二年，否则我立刻让人把他轰出去。”
Her behaviour towards MM. de Croisenois, de Luz, and the rest, perfectly polite in form, was scarcely less provoking in substance. Mathilde blamed herself severely for all the confidences she had made to Julien in the past, especially as she did not dare confess to him that she had exaggerated the almost wholly innocent marks of interest of which those gentlemen had been the object.
她对德·克鲁瓦泽努瓦、德·吕兹诸先生的态度，表面上彬彬有礼，内里几乎是同样地咄咄逼人。她狠狠地责备自己，不该向于连说那些 隐情，尤其是因为她不敢承认她夸大了她对这些先生们做出的几乎全无邪念的种种好感的表示。
In spite of the most admirable resolutions, her womanly pride prevented her every day from saying to Julien: 'It was because I was speaking to you that I found pleasure in the thought of my weakness in not withdrawing my hand when M. de Croisenois laid his hand on a marble table beside mine, and managed to touch it.'
尽管她有过种种美好的决心，她那女性的骄傲仍然每天都阻止她对于连说：“因为是跟您说，我才觉得描述我的软弱是一种快乐，那一次德·克鲁瓦泽努瓦先生把手放在大理石桌子上，稍稍碰了碰我的手，我竟没有把手抽回来。”
Nowadays, whenever one of these gentlemen had spoken to her for a few moments, she found that she had a question to ask Julien, and this was a pretext for keeping him by her side.
今天，只要这些先生中有一位跟她谈上一会儿，她总有什么问题要问于连，这是借口，好让于连呆在她身边。
She found that she was pregnant, and told the news joyfully to Julien.
她怀孕了，滋怀喜悦地告诉了于连。
'Now will you doubt me? Is not this a guarantee? I am your wife for ever.'
“现在您还怀疑我吗？这不是一个保证吗？我永远是您的妻子。”
This announcement filled Julien with profound astonishment. He was on the point of forgetting his principle of conduct. 'How can I be deliberately cold and offensive to this poor girl who is ruining herself for me?'Did she appear at all unwell, even on the days on which wisdom made her dread accents heard, he no longer found the courage to address to her one of those cruel speeches, so indispensable, in his experience, to the continuance of their love.
这个消息使于连深感震惊，他差点儿忘了他的行动准则。“怎么能对这个为了我而身败名裂的可怜的女孩子有意地冷淡无礼呢？”只要她 有一点点痛苦的样子，哪怕是在明智发出它那可怕的声音的日子里，他也再无勇气对她说出那些残酷的话了，尽管根据他的经验，这种话对他们的爱情之持续是不可或缺的。
'I mean to write to my father,' Mathilde said to him one day; 'he is more than a father to me; he is a friend; and so I should feel it unworthy of you and of myself to seek to deceive him, were it only for a moment.'
“我要给我父亲写信，”一天玛蒂尔德对他说，“对我来说，他不仅是个父亲，而且是个朋友，因此，想要欺骗他，哪怕是一时，我觉得无论对您还是对我，都是可耻的。”“离开我半年，对您真是一种不幸？”她说。
'Great God! What are you going to do?' said Julien in alarm.
“伟大的天主！您要干什么？”于连惊恐地说。
'My duty,' she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.
“履行我的职责，”她说，两眼闪动着喜悦。
She felt herself to be more magnanimous than her lover.
她比他的情人要来得大度。
'But he will turn me from the house in disgrace!'
“可他会赶走我，让我蒙受耻辱！”
'He is within his rights, we must respect them. I shall give you my arm, and we shall go out by the front door, in the full light of day.'
“这是他的权利，应该尊重。我将让您挽着我的胳膊，我们在大白天从大门走出去。”
Julien in astonishment begged her to wait for a week.
于连大吃一惊、求她推迟—个礼拜。
'I cannot,' she replied, 'the voice of honour speaks. I have seen what is my duty, I must obey, and at once.'
“我不能，”她回答说，“名誉说话了，我看见了责任，应该履行，而且是立刻。”
'Very well! I order you to wait,' said Julien at length. 'Your honour is covered, I am your husband. This drastic step is going to alter both our positions. I also am within my rights. Today is Tuesday; next Tuesday is the day of the Duc de Retz's party; that evening, when M. de La Mole comes home, the porter shall hand him the fatal letter… He thinks only of making you a Duchess, of that I am certain; think of his grief!'
“那好吧！我命令您推迟。”最后于连说。“您的名誉是安全的，我是您的丈夫。我们两人的状况将因这一重大举措而改变。我也有我的 权利。今天是礼拜二，下礼拜二是德·吕兹公爵招待客人的日子；晚上德·拉莫尔先生回未时，门房将变给他这封决定命运的信……他一心想让您成为公爵夫人，对此我确信不疑，想想他的不幸有多大吧！”
'Do you mean by that: think of his revenge?'
“您是说：想想他的报复有多严厉？”
'I may feel pity for my benefactor, distress at the thought of injuring him; but I do not and never shall fear any man.'
“我可以怜悯我的恩人，因伤害了他而感到难过；但是，我不怕，永远也不怕任何人。”
Mathilde submitted. Since she had told Julien of her condition, this was the first time that he had spoken to her with authority; never had he loved her so dearly. It was with gladness that the softer side of his heart seized the pretext of Mathilde's condition to forgo the duty of saying a few cruel words. The idea of a confession to M. de La Mole disturbed him greatly. Was he going to be parted from Mathilde? And, however keen the distress with which she saw him go, a month after his departure would she give him a thought?
玛蒂尔德服从了。自从她把她的状态通知于连以来，于连还是第—次用命令的口气跟她说话。他从未这样深地爱她。他心灵中的那一份温 柔使他兴奋地抓住玛蒂尔德的身体状况作为借口，不再对她说些冷言冷语。想到要向德·拉莫尔先生招认，于连深感不安。他要和玛蒂尔德分开吗？无论她看见他走时多么痛苦，一个月后她还会想他吗？
He felt almost as great a horror of the reproaches which the Marquis might justly heap upon him.
他几乎同样地害怕侯爵对他进行的公正的谴责。
That evening, he admitted to Mathilde this second cause of his distress, and then, carried away by love, admitted the other also.
晚上，他向玛蒂尔德承认了第二个苦恼的原因，接着，爱情让他昏了头，竟把第一个苦恼的原因也说出来了。
She changed colour.
她的脸色陡然变了。
'Indeed,' she said, 'six months spent out of my company would be a grief to you!'
“巨大的不幸，那是我在这世界上怀着恐惧看到的唯—的不幸。”
'Immense, the only one in the world on which I look with terror.'Mathilde was delighted. Julien had played his part with such thoroughness that he had succeeded in making her think that of the two she was the more in love.
玛蒂尔德感到非常幸福。于连认真地扮演他的角色，竟让她觉得两个人当中是她爱得最深。
The fatal Tuesday came. At midnight, on returning home, the Marquis found a letter with the form of address which indicated that he was to open it himself, and only when he was unobserved.
要命的星期二到了。午夜，侯爵回府时看见一封信，写明本人亲阅，而且要在身边无人的时候。
'MY FATHER,'
我的父亲：
Every social tie that binds us is broken, there remain only the ties of nature. After my husband, you are and will ever be the dearest person in the world to me. My eyes fill with tears, I think of the distress that I am causing you, but, that my shame may not be made public, to give you time to deliberate and act, I have been unable to postpone any further the confession that I owe you. If your affection for me, which I know to be extreme, chooses to allow me a small pension, I shall go and settle myself where you please, in Switzerland, for instance, with my husband.His name is so obscure that no one will recognise your daughter in Madame Sorel, daughter-in-law of a carpenter of Verrieres. There you have the name I have found it so hard to write. I dread, for Julien, your anger,apparently so righteous. I shall not be a Duchess, Father; but I knew it when I fell in love with him; for it was I that fell in love first, it was I who seduced him. I inherit from you a spirit too exalted to let my attention be arrested by what is or seems to me vulgar. It is in vain that with the idea of pleasing you I have thought of M. de Croisenois. Why did you place real merit before my eyes? You told me yourself on my return from Hyeres: "This young Sorel is the only person who amuses me"; the poor boy is as greatly distressed as myself, if it be possible, by the pain which this letter must cause you. I cannot prevent your being angry with me as a father; but care for me still as a friend.
我们之间的一切社会关系都已破裂，只剩下自然关系了。除了我的丈夫，您现在是，也将永远是我最亲爱的人。我的眼里满含着泪水，我 想到了我给您造成的痛苦，但是，为了不使我的耻辱公开，为了让您有时间考虑和行动，我不能把应该向您招认的事情拖下去不说了。我知道您对我的友谊极其深厚，如果您出于这友谊愿意给我一笔小小约年金，我将和我的丈夫去您愿意的地方生活，比方说去瑞士。他的姓氏如此卑微，不会有人认出索莱尔太太，维里埃的一个木匠的儿媳妇就是您的女儿。这个姓氏我费了好大的劲儿才写出来。我真为于连害怕您的愤怒，看起来这愤怒是多么公正啊。我当不了公爵夫人了，我的父亲；但是我爱他的时候就已经知道了，因为是我主动爱上他的，是我引诱了他。我从您那里继承了一颗高尚的心灵，不会把我的注意力投向庸俗或我觉得庸俗的事情上去。为了让您高兴，我曾属意德·克鲁瓦泽努瓦先生，然而没有用。为什么您要把真正有价值的人置于我的眼下呢？我从耶尔回来时，您自己对我说：这位年轻的索莱尔是唯一让我开心的人；如果可能的话，这可怜的孩子对此信给您带来的痛苦将和我一样地感到难过。我不能阻止您作为一个父亲生气，但是像以往那样作为朋友爱我吧。
'Julien respected me. If he spoke to me now and again, it was solely because of his profound gratitude to you: for the natural pride of his character leads him never to reply save officially to anyone who is placed so far above him. He has a strong and inborn sense of the differences of social position. It was I, I admit, with a blush, to my best friend, and never shall such an admission be made to any other, it was I who one day in the garden pressed his arm.
于连尊重我。如果有时他跟我说话，那完全是出于对您的深深的感激之情，因为他性格中天然的高傲使他只在正式场合理会那些远远高出于他的人。他对社会地位的差别具有一种强烈的、天生的感觉。是我，我承认，红着脸向我最好的朋友承认，这我是对任何人也不会说的，是我有一天在花园里拉住了他的胳膊。
'In twenty-four hours from now, why should you be angry with him?My fault is irreparable. If you require it, I shall be the channel to convey to you the assurances of his profound respect and of his distress at displeasing you. You will not set eyes on him; but I shall go and join him wherever he may choose. It is his right, it is my duty, he is the father of my child. If in your generosity you are pleased to allow us six thousand francs upon which to live, I shall accept them with gratitude: otherwise,Julien intends to settle at Besancon where he will take up the profession of teacher of Latin and Literature. However low the degree from which he springs, I am certain that he will rise. With him, I have no fear of obscurity. If there be a Revolution, I am sure of a leading part for him.Could you say as much for any of those who have sought my hand? They have fine estates? I cannot find in that single circumstance a reason for admiration. My Julien would attain to a high position even under the present form of government, if he had a million and were protected by my father … '
二十四个钟头之后，您为什么还对他生气呢？我的错误无法补救。如果您一定要的话，将由我转达他的深切的敬意和使您感到不快的遗憾。您不会再见到他，然而他去哪儿，我就会去哪儿跟他会面。这是他的权利，也是我的责任，他是我的孩子的父亲。如果您的仁慈愿意给我们六千法郎以供度日，我将怀着感激之情接受；不然的话，于连打算去贝藏松住，在那儿开始教授拉丁文和文学。无论他的起点多么低，我确信他会起来的。跟他在一起，我不害怕默默无闻。如果发生革命，我确信他会但任主要角色。在那些向我求婚的人当中，有哪一个您能这样说呢？他们有肥沃的土地！然而单凭这一点，我看不出有什么值得赞赏的理由。就是在目前的制度下，我的于连也会有很高的地位，如果他有一百万和我父亲的保护……
Mathilde, who knew that the Marquis was a man entirely governed by first impressions, had written eight pages.
玛蒂尔德知道侯爵是个一触即跳的人，就整整写了八页。
'What is to be done?' Julien said to himself while M. de La Mole was reading this letter; 'where do, first of all, my duty, secondly, my interest lie? The debt that I owe him is immense: I should have been, but for him,a rascally under-strapper, and not rascal enough to be hated and persecuted by the rest. He has made me a man of the world. My necessary rascalities will be, first of all, rarer, and secondly, less ignoble. That is more than if he had given me a million. I owe to him this Cross and the record of so-called diplomatic services which have raised me above my rank.
“怎么办呢？”德·拉莫尔先生读信的时候，于连正在暗自捉摸，“第一，我的责任在哪里？第二，我的利益在哪里？我欠他的太多了： 没有他我只会是个地位低下的无赖，而且还不能无赖到不受人憎恨和欺侮的程度。他让我成了上等人。我的不能不干的无赖事将会，一，更少些；二，不那么卑鄙。这比给我一百万还要强。是他给了我这枚十字勋章和使我出人头地的表面上的外交服务。
'If he were to take his pen to prescribe my conduct, what would he write?'
“如果他拿起笔来指示我的行为，他会怎么写呢？……”
Julien was sharply interrupted by M. de La Mole's old valet.
德·拉莫尔先生的老仆人来了，于连的沉思突然被打断。
'The Marquis wishes to see you this moment, dressed or undressed.'
“侯爵让您立刻去见他，不管您是否穿戴整齐。”
The valet added in an undertone as they were side by side: 'He is furious, beware.'
仆人走在于连身边，低声对他说：“侯爵大发雷霆，您小心点儿。”