7 TAKEOVER LEADS TO DEATH OF SECOND WIFE
7 杨开慧之死
(1927–30 AGE 33–36)
1927～1930 年 33～36 岁
AFTER CHIANG KAI-SHEK established a Nationalist government based at Nanjing in 1928, with nominal authority over the whole of China, he launched a drive to weld the many different armies controlled by provincial potentates into a unified national army under his control. This met ferocious resistance from an alliance of warlords, and by the beginning of 1930 each side had deployed hundreds of thousands of troops. The resulting internecine fighting presented the CCP with a chance to expand its own army and bases.
一九二八年，蒋介石建立南京政府之后，着手让各地军阀交出军权，以建立统一的国家军队。一批军阀顽强抵抗，一九三0年初，有几十万大军参加的“中原大战” 一触即发。
Moscow began to consider forming a Communist state in China. Chou En-lai set off for the Soviet Union in March 1930, bringing with him a detailed report on the Chinese Red Army, saying it had some 62,700 men, made up of 13 armed groups (called “armies”) spread over 8 provinces. The Zhu–Mao Army was the best-known of these, and accounted for almost one-quarter of the total, having expanded to nearly 15,000 men, thanks to its control of a large base. Bases were the key to expanding the army, as possession of a base enabled the Reds to acquire conscripts.
莫斯科决定利用这场大战帮中共建立全国性政权。周恩来三月离开上海去苏联讨论此事，带去红军的详细材料。当时红军共有六万二千七百余人，分散在八个省，编为十三个军，朱毛红军是最重要的一个军，近一万五千人。
While Chou En-lai was away, the man in charge in Shanghai was Mao's fellow Hunanese and former subordinate, Li Li-san. Li-san, who had made his name as a labor organizer, was an impulsive activist and passionate advocate of further expansion. Under him, a highly ambitious plan was devised to seize a large chunk of the interior, including big cities like Nanchang and Changsha, and form a Red government in the heart of China, at Wuhan, on the Yangtze. Mao was assigned to take Nanchang, the capital of Jiangxi.
周走后，中共负责人是李立三，毛泽东的湖南同乡、从前的下属。李立三的晋升得益于他善于组织劳工。他与莫斯科驻上海代表制定了一个雄心勃勃的计划，要夺取一大片中国腹心地带，包括像南昌、武汉这样的省会，要把红色政权的首都建在武汉。给毛的命令是攻打南昌。
Mao was a realist. He knew that even given the infighting among the Nationalists, the Red Army had no hope of seizing and holding major cities. At first he expressed reluctance to carry out the plan, but within days of voicing doubts he was bursting with zeal. He still had no faith in the project, but he realized that he could exploit Shanghai's fantasy for his own purpose, which was to take over the second biggest Red Army branch, run by Peng De-huai.
讲究实际的毛泽东很清楚，不管国民党之间怎样内战，共产党也没有办法长期控制那些大城市。刚开始，毛对命令表示踌躇。但几天工夫，他来了个一百八十度大转弯，特别积极起来。原因是他意识到，李立三的幻想给了他机会，使他能够兼并彭德怀统领的当时中国第二大红军。
PENG, WHO WAS five years Mao's junior, was born in a village in Mao's own district in Hunan. He was to rise to be Communist China's first defense minister, and also Mao's fiercest and bravest critic within the regime—for which he would pay with a long-drawn-out and agonizing death.
彭德怀比毛小五岁，出生在离毛家不远的村子里。在未来的红色中国，他是第一任国防部部长，也是领导阶层中对毛最直率的批评者--为此他付出的代价是在毛泽东手里痛苦地死去。
Peng had a highly expressive mouth and eyes, which seemed to show a permanent sadness. He cared about the poor and the downtrodden. Unlike most Communist leaders, he had had a poverty-stricken childhood, which scarred him profoundly. When his mother died, his youngest brother, who was six months old, had starved to death. Decades later, Peng wrote of his childhood:
彭的眼神里、嘴唇上有着很多磨难的痕迹。与大多数中共领导人不一样，彭有一个悲惨的童年。多少年后，彭这样写道：“八岁时母死、父病，家贫如洗……四弟半岁，母死后不到一月即饿死。”“我满十岁时，一切生计全断。正月初一，邻近富豪家喜炮连天，我家无粒米下锅，带着二弟，第一次去当叫化子……我兄弟俩至黄昏才回家，还没有讨到两升米，我已饿昏了，進门就倒在地下。”
In bitter winter, when other people were wearing padded clothes and shoes, my brothers and I wore straw sandals on bare feet, and clothes made of palm leaves, like primitive men … When I was ten, there was nothing at all to live on. On New Year's Day, when rich people's homes let off firecrackers, my family had not a grain of rice. So I took my second brother to go begging, for the first time.
彭自尊心很强，再也不愿去讨饭。他年过七十的祖母于是自己去讨。那天寒风凛冽，雪花横飞，彭的祖母白发苍苍，一双小脚，带着两个孙孙(彭的三弟还不到四岁)，拄着棒子，一步一扭地走出去。彭看了，真如利刀刺心那样难过”。那天晚上，他不肯吃讨来的米，一家人都哭起来。彭写到此时说：“每一回忆至此，我就流泪，就伤心……在我的生活中，这样的伤心遭遇，何止几百次！”
He described how he fainted from hunger after they got home. Out of pride, he refused to go begging next day, so his grandmother, who was over seventy, went hobbling on bound feet, pulling along his younger brothers, one of them only three years old. Watching them disappear into the snow, Peng said later that he felt sharp knives were cutting at his heart, and he went into the mountains and chopped some firewood which he sold for a small packet of salt. That evening he would not eat the rice his grandmother's begging had brought home, and the whole family wept.
When he was fifteen, his village was hit by drought, which brought starvation for many. Peng became involved in an attempt to force a wealthy landlord to hand out some rice, by climbing onto the roof of the landlord's granary and removing the tiles to reveal the grain the man had denied having stored. Peng was placed on a wanted list, and had to flee. In 1916 he joined the Hunan army and became an officer. He was sometimes invited by local dignitaries to banquets where young girls barely in their teens were available for their pleasure. One girl of thirteen told Peng she had been badly beaten by a pimp because she declined to sleep with officers. Peng bought her freedom, and thereafter turned down all invitations to banquets. He became attracted to communism “to find a way out for the poor,” as he put it.
十五岁那年，彭家乡大旱，饥民成群。他参与了强迫一家地主粜米的行动，地主说没有米，彭爬上屋顶，将瓦推下，露出米仓。彭被告聚众闹粜，团防局前来拿办，他只得逃离家乡。一九一六年，他参加湘军，当上了军官。军官的生活内容之一是赴宴，每次总有年轻姑娘陪酒。一个十三岁的小女孩认识彭后，告诉他：她是家里遭了水灾被抵押到酒楼来卖唱的，不跟军官睡觉就要挨打。彭德怀凑了些钱，赎出这个女孩，从此拒绝参加酒宴。他逐渐为共产主义吸引，认为共产主义是为穷人找出路。
Peng secretly joined the CCP just after New Year 1928. That July he mutinied against the Nationalists, taking 800 men with him. The Party told him to make contact with Mao, who was in the outlaw land nearby at the time. Peng arrived in December, just as Mao was making ready to quit the base. Mao needed someone to stay behind to hold the fort, as possession of a base was his main asset.
一九二八年初，彭德怀加入共产党。同年七月，他发动兵变，带着八百来人脱离了国民党军队。党要他跟井冈山的毛取得联系，十二月，他上了井冈山。他到来时毛正打算离开。大批国民党军队正往井冈山开来，毛需要有人守山，以显示他的根据地巍然屹立。
So Mao grabbed Peng and told him to stay and defend the territory—a doomed task. After Mao was gone, government troops came in force. Peng's men had to break out through deep snow, climbing over precipices and inching along tiny tracks normally used only by wild animals.
毛要彭留下，承担这个危险的任务。彭手下的人不情愿，说他们是来建立联系的，联系上了应该回去。彭说服了他们。他不愿意和毛对抗。国民党军队進攻后，彭和他的人在大雪中突围。彭事先已探明撤退的路，都是在悬崖峭壁上猎人出没的小径。
From then on, Mao continued to treat Peng as his subordinate, and Peng made no objection. But Shanghai did not formally endorse this arrangement, and Mao's mandate did not, officially, extend beyond the Zhu–Mao Army. In early 1930, when Moscow and Shanghai reorganized all Red Army forces nationwide in preparation for establishing a Communist state, Peng's army, which had grown at an extraordinary rate to 15,000—the same number of troops as Mao's—was made independent of Mao. Peng's men were excellent soldiers, with a strong esprit de corps. A Party inspector told Shanghai that Peng's army “has the highest morale. The troops obey orders, have strong discipline and a great spirit of camaraderie, and are brave soldiers … They are very loyal to Peng De-huai personally. The wounded in the rear hospitals, once recovered, absolutely insist on returning to [Peng's] army … It has very few deserters.”
毛那时在闽西。一九二九年四月，彭前来会师。毛把彭当作下属发号施令，不让彭留在富庶的闽西，派彭返回满是断壁残垣的井冈山一带，“恢复湘赣边苏区”。彭默然接受。但是，中央从来没有明确地把彭划归毛指挥。一九三0年初，莫斯科和上海统一组编红军。彭的部队此时已发展到一万五千人，与朱毛红军相等，彭被编为与朱毛平行的一个军。彭深受部下爱戴，巡视员报告中央说：彭的部队“听从命令，遵守纪律，互相亲爱，作战勇敢，阶级的认识……信仰彭德怀个人也浓厚，如后方医院的伤兵病好后一定要回到五军[彭军]工作，如果地方党部政权分配他的工作终不愿意接受，就接受了也要怠工而且经常的要求到五军去，在五军开小差的还少”。
Mao was determined to control Peng and his crack force. This was why he suddenly expressed an eagerness to attack Nanchang. If he was there, rather than down south on the Jiangxi–Fujian border, this would bring him hundreds of kilometers closer to Peng, who was nearby. Mao's secret plan was to go and physically join forces with Peng, as this was the only way he could exert control over Peng and his army.
毛泽东一心要把彭的部队重新抓过来，但彭军远在几百公里之外，他鞭长莫及。中央命令毛打南昌，给他创造了兼并彭德怀的机会，因为彭离南昌不远。
Mao set off north, saying he was going for Nanchang, as the Party had ordered. But when he reached the outskirts of Nanchang, at the end of July, he fired only a few shots and then moved his army towards Changsha, which Peng had just captured on 25 July.
毛一路北上，直到南昌城外。他没有去攻城，虚晃一招后下令向长沙挺進。彭德怀刚于七月二十五日奇袭打下长沙，正在休整。
Changsha was the only provincial capital the Reds took, and Peng held it for eleven days, proclaiming a Communist government, with his HQ in the American Bible Institute.
长沙是唯一被红军打下的省会，彭占了它十一天，司令部设在美国圣经学校。
His success rang alarm bells in Western capitals, especially Washington, which now, for the first time, registered the Chinese Communists as a serious force. One reason was the death in combat of Seaman 1st Class Samuel Elkin, the first US serviceman to die fighting Chinese Communists, killed on the USS Guam on the Xiang River by shelling from Peng's forces en route to Changsha—on the Fourth of July. Gunboats of four foreign powers, particularly the USS Palos, played a critical role in driving Peng out of the city on 6 August.
在那里他成立了湖南省苏维埃政府，宣布主席是中央的李立三，自己只做委员。彭的成功震惊了西方，尤其是华盛顿。七月四日，在向长沙進军的途中，彭的士兵在湘江上向美国军舰“关岛”号开火，打死一名美军水手，这是美国军队第一次跟中共交锋。八月六日，四个国家的军舰掩护国民党军队，把彭德怀赶出了长沙。
In mid-August, Peng received a message out of the blue saying that Mao was coming to “help” him. Mao wrote simultaneously to Shanghai, on 19 August, to say that he had abandoned his assignment to attack Nanchang in order to go to Peng's rescue, claiming that Peng was in deep trouble—“suffering considerable deaths and losses.” Peng told Mao flatly that he was not in trouble and did not need help, but this was not enough to shake off Mao, who cunningly countered by telling Peng to come and help him, as he was about to attack a town called Yonghe, located in between them, about 100 km east of Changsha.
八月十九日，毛给上海写信说，彭的形势十分危险，“颇有牺牲与损失”，说他决定放弃打南昌到长沙去“援助”彭。彭接到消息说毛朝着他来了，派人告诉毛，他不需要援助。但毛是推不掉的，反过来要彭去配合他打介于南昌、长沙之间的永和市。彭只得率部前往。
When Peng joined up with him, on 23 August, Mao announced that Peng's corps was now merged with his own, under his own command, leaving Peng as mere deputy military commander, under Zhu De. Mao tried to blow smoke at Shanghai (and Moscow) by claiming that the goal in merging the armies was to attack Changsha a second time—a move opposed by both Peng and Zhu De, who argued that it had no prospect of succeeding, as the element of surprise, essential to Peng's capture of the city, had been lost.
彭军到永和的当天，八月二十三日，毛立即宣布两军合并，成立第一方面军，毛自己当总头目(总前委书记、总政委)，朱德任总司令，彭德怀仅是副总司令。为了得到批准，毛第二天函告上海说，两军的合并是为了再打长沙。由于武汉是中央梦想中的红色政权的首都，毛把再打长沙说成是建都的主要步骤，夸张地说他有把握“占领长沙岳州，進攻武汉九江……促進全国总暴动”。毛甚至说：“望中央指示夺取武汉意见，并准备组织政权机关”。
But Mao insisted, and assured Shanghai that together the two corps could easily “occupy Changsha … then attack Wuhan … to trigger a general uprising in the whole of China.” Mao stoked Shanghai's delusions by suggesting that the occupation of Wuhan was imminent, and with it the establishment of a Red government: “Please could the Centre instruct on taking Wuhan,” he wrote in his most ingratiating style, “and start preparations for organising a government …” In fact, Mao had no intention of going anywhere near Wuhan.
Nor did he really think he could seize Changsha. Still, to cement his absorption of Peng, he ordered Changsha to be attacked. The result was “huge human losses,” Moscow was told. These were much greater for Peng's units than for Mao's, as Mao had avoided a genuine strike at Changsha, whereas Peng had faithfully carried out orders and attacked the city directly The GRU chief in China, Gailis, told Moscow that “Mao just looked on.”
其实，毛根本没有夺取武汉的意思，他知道不可能，就连再打长沙也不可能成功。彭一打长沙成功，靠的是出其不意，现在守敌已有准备。朱德、彭德怀也很清楚，他们反对二打长沙。但毛坚持要打。如果不打，他就没有理由要上海同意他与彭合并，把彭置于自己控制之下。在打的过程中，据苏军情报局中国站站长格理斯(Avgust Gailis)报告莫斯科：红军“伤亡惨重”，彭的部队伤亡比毛的多得多，“毛袖手旁观”。
At the end of three weeks, Mao called off the siege, insisting that Peng's army should move off with him. This met with resistance from Peng's officers, and some even tried to break away. (The Chinese Red Army, like Chinese forces in general at this point, was not like a modern army where orders were obeyed unconditionally and unquestioningly.) Mao soon launched a bloody purge against them.
三个星期过去了，毛撤销了对长沙的围攻，要带彭的部队走。彭的军官们坚决反对。他们不喜欢毛，不愿意做毛的部下。但是彭不希望跟毛发生内讧，说服了部队。许多人走得极不情愿，有的甚至想把部队拉走。这些人将在毛的血腥清洗中消失。
Mao also used the siege of Changsha, which made headlines, to promote himself to the top job, and raise his profile further. When he started the siege, on 23 August, he proclaimed an All-China Revolutionary Committee, put it in command of all Red Armies, governments and Party branches, with himself as chairman, and sent an announcement to this effect to the press.
毛也利用二打长沙，全国报纸会大登特登的机会，把本来只统领一个军的自己，吹成全国红军及其根据地的领袖。八月二十三日围城开始那天，毛通电宣布成立中国工农革命委员会，指挥全国的红军和地方政权，自封为主席。*
Two months before, on 25 June, Mao had already issued two press releases giving himself this title. No newspapers seem to have carried these, but Mao pasted them up as notices. Shanghai's reaction had been to announce on 1 August that the post of chairman belonged to the Party's (nominal) general secretary, Hsiang Chung-fa. Mao was now reiterating his self-appointment over Hsiang's head, in defiance of Shanghai.
* 毛早在六月二十五日就发出过自封主席的两份通电。上海的反应是在八月一日宣布委员会主席是党的总书记向忠发。但此时毛又再度自封主席，直接跟中央唱对台戏。
But Mao received no punishment. The new Red state that Moscow had decided to install in China needed power-hungry leaders, and Mao was the hungriest around. On 20 September his second-level membership of the Politburo was restored, paving the way to top jobs in the coming Red state. Moscow had rejected Wuhan as the location, ordering the state to be established in “the Red Army's largest secure region”—which was Red Jiangxi.*
中央没有惩罚毛。莫斯科要在中国建立红色政权，需要权力欲强烈的领导人，而毛的权力欲是最强的。毛在抓权上既胆大包天又诡计多端，使莫斯科感到这个人确能成事。九月二十日，毛的政治局候补委员被恢复了，莫斯科内定毛做中国红色政权的首脑。这个政权的首都如今定在红军最大的根据地--江西。
The defeat and heavy casualties inflicted by Mao's siege of Changsha were blamed on the impulsive Li Li-san. Li-san had told the Russians it was their “internationalist duty” to send in troops to help the Chinese Reds in their fight. During the Russian invasion of Manchuria the year before, he had gladly called for the Chinese Reds to “defend the Soviet Union with arms.” Now he proposed that Moscow should reciprocate, and this riled Stalin, who suspected Li-san of trying to drag him into war with Japan. Li-san had also incurred Stalin's ire by saying that Mongolia, which Soviet Russia had annexed from China, should become part of Red China. The Comintern condemned Li-san on 25 August for being “hostile to Bolshevism, and hostile to the Comintern,” and in October a letter arrived ordering him to Moscow. There Stalin turned him into a kind of all-purpose scapegoat, and he was repeatedly called on to stand up and denounce himself.† Li-san entered history books as the man responsible for all the Red losses in the early 1930s. High on the list of losses were those suffered during the siege of Changsha, which were in fact entirely Mao's responsibility, incurred for his own personal power.
二打长沙的伤亡与失败，算在李立三的帐上。李立三曾要苏联出兵帮中共建立政权，说这是莫斯科的“国际主义义务”，就像在“中东路”事件时中国红军有义务保卫苏联一样。但斯大林是不讲什么义务的，他甚至怀疑李立三想把他拖進中国来跟俄国的宿敌日本开战。他还痛恨李说什么一旦中国红色政权成立，外蒙古应该回归中国。十月，共产国际来令谴责李立三“敌视布尔什维克主义和敌视共产国际”，命令他去苏联。在那里，他动不动就在大会上被叫起来自我谴责，骂罪该万死的“立三路线”。之后他坐牢两年。“立三路线”这只替罪羊一直活在今天的历史书里，罪名之一是二打长沙。
MAO'S QUEST FOR POWER also brought tragedy to his family. In 1930 his ex-wife Kai-hui and their three young sons, the youngest three years old, were still living in her family home on the outskirts of Changsha when Mao laid siege to the city.
毛的二打长沙给他的家庭带来巨大灾难。这年，他的第二任妻子杨开慧带着三个儿子就住在长沙市郊杨家老屋。
Mao had left them exactly three years before, when he set off, ostensibly to take part in an “Autumn Harvest Uprising,” but actually to poach his first armed force. Barely four months after his departure, he had married somebody else.
毛离开他们整整三年了。
Although Changsha was ruled by a fiercely anti-Communist general, Ho Chien, Kai-hui had been left alone, as she was not engaged in Communist activities. Even after Peng De-huai had taken Changsha and nearly killed him, Ho Chien took no reprisals against her. But after Mao turned up and subjected the city to a second lengthy assault, the Nationalist general decided to take revenge. Kai-hui was arrested together with her eldest son, An-ying, on An-ying's eighth birthday, 24 October. She was offered a deal: her freedom if she would make a public announcement divorcing Mao and denouncing him. She refused, and was executed on the cloudy morning of 14 November 1930. Next day the Hunan Republican Daily reported her death under the headline “Wife of Mao Tse-tung executed yesterday—everyone claps and shouts with satisfaction.” This undoubtedly reflected more loathing of Mao than of Kai-hui.
守长沙的国民党长官是坚决反共的何键。三年来他没有骚扰开慧，因为开慧没有進行任何共产党活动。甚至彭德怀一打长沙，差点打死何键，何也没有在开慧身上泄愤。但毛泽东又来二打长沙，何键极为恼怒，决心报复，在十月二十四日逮捕了开慧和长子岸英。那天正好是岸英八岁的生日。何键给开慧留了条活路：只要她公开宣布跟毛脱离关系。开慧拒绝了。她死在十一月十四日这天。次日，湖南《民国日报》以一个可怖的标题报导了她的死讯：“毛泽东之妻昨日枪决，莫不称快”。这仇恨的对象显然是毛。
When Kai-hui was brought into the “court” in army HQ, wearing a long dark blue gown, she showed no sign of fear. There on a desk were placed a brush, some red ink, and a sticker with her name on it. After asking a few questions, the judge ticked the sticker with the brush dipped in the red ink, and threw it on the floor. This was the traditional equivalent of signing a death warrant. At this, two executioners peeled off her gown as spoils. Another found a bonus—2.5 yuan wrapped in a handkerchief in one of the pockets.
行刑人后来在中共牢里的口供，揭示出开慧生命的最后时刻。赴死前，她穿着青裤青鞋，青长旗袍，被带進军队司令部的“法庭”。法官桌上放着一支毛笔、一瓶红墨水、一张写着她的名字的押签。法官草草问了几个问题，便拿起毛笔，蘸着墨水，在押签上画了个勾，把押签掷在地上叫这是传统的签署死刑判决书的方式。两个行刑人把她的长旗袍剥了下来，算作他们的额外收入，外加衣袋里一张手绢包着的两块五毛钱。
And so she went to her death, on a winter day, wearing a thin blouse, at the age of twenty-nine. As she was taken through the streets, tied up with ropes, which was the normal treatment for someone about to be executed, an officer hailed a rickshaw for her, while soldiers ran along on both sides. The execution ground lay just beyond one of the city gates, among the graves of the people executed who had no one to take their bodies home. After they shot her, some of the firing squad took off her shoes and threw them as far as they could: otherwise, legend went, they would be followed home and haunted by the ghost of the dead.
在冬天的寒风里，没穿外套，年仅二十九岁的开慧，被绑着押过长沙的街道。路上，一个军官下令给她叫了辆人力车，士兵们在两边小跑。刑场在城门外，四下是一片荒坟。行刑人开枪后，把她的鞋脱下来扔得远远的，怕死者的魂魄追着他们索命。
As the executioners were having lunch afterwards at their barracks, they were told that Kai-hui was not dead, so seven of them went back and finished her off. In her agony her fingers had dug deep into the earth.
行刑人回去吃午饭。饭后听说开慧没被打死，他们中的七个人又回去补枪。他们看见她脸朝上躺着，在极度痛苦中，手指深深地戳進了冻硬的土地。
Her body was taken back to her village by relatives, and buried in the grounds of her family home. Her son was released, and early in 1931 Mao's brother Tse-min arranged for the three boys to travel to Shanghai, where they entered a secret CCP kindergarten.
亲戚们把开慧的尸体运回故乡，葬在老屋的后坡上。岸英被释放后，一九三一年初，毛的大弟泽民帮助三个孩子去了上海，由中共地下党照顾。
When Mao learned of Kai-hui's death, he wrote in what seems to have been genuine grief: “The death of Kai-hui cannot be redeemed by a hundred deaths of mine!” He spoke of her often, especially in his old age, as the love of his life. What he never knew is that although Kai-hui did love him, she had also rejected his ideology and his killings.
毛听到开慧的死讯后，流露着真诚的感情说：“开慧之死，百身莫赎。”他经常谈起开慧，尤其到了晚年，把开慧当作他一生最爱的女人。他所不知道的是，爱他的开慧，早巳摒弃了他的主义。
IN THE YEARS between Mao deserting her and her death, Kai-hui wrote reflections on communism, and on her love for Mao, in eight intense, forgiving and occasionally reproachful pieces, which she concealed in her house. Seven were discovered in cracks in the walls in 1982, during some renovation work. The eighth came to light under a beam just outside her bedroom during repairs in 1990. She had wrapped them up in wax paper to protect them from damp.
从毛抛下她到死，开慧写了八篇文章，述说她对毛的爱，反思她的信仰。她把这八篇东西用蜡纸仔细包妥，藏在老屋里。一九八二年维修房子时在墙的泥砖缝里发现七篇，第八篇于一九九0年再度修缮时从她卧室外的屋檐下霍然露出。
Mao never saw them, and most are still kept secret—so secret that even Mao's surviving family were barred from seeing the most devastating passages.
毛没看到它们，世界上也没几个人看到它们。这些文章大部分至今仍被捂得严严实实，有的连毛的家人都看不到。
The writings show the pain Kai-hui suffered from Mao's desertion, her disappointment and bitterness at his heartlessness towards her and their sons—and, perhaps more damning, her loss of faith in communism.
在开慧的笔下有她对毛强烈而宽容、偶带责备的爱，有被毛遗弃的痛楚，有对毛忍心抛弃三个儿子的伤怨。这些情绪在她最后一篇文章里表现得最为明显。
The earliest piece is a poem, “Thoughts,” dated October 1928. Mao had been gone for a year, and had only written once. He had mentioned having trouble with his feet. In June, when a CCP inspector she referred to as “First Cousin” went off to Mao's area, she gave him a jug of chili with fermented beans, Mao's favorite dish, to take to her husband. But there was no reply. On a cold day, Kai-hui missed Mao:
那四页字句是在一九三0年一月二十八日写的，在春节前两天，团年的时刻。开慧沉浸在毛走后的日子里，日复一日，年复一年，写的句子不连贯，大多没有标点，思绪到哪笔到哪。*
* 这一篇中有些是我们看过遗稿后追记的，某些词语可能有误，记不清的以省略号标出，有的标点符号是为了清晰而加。
Downcast day a north wind starts,
几天睡不着觉
Thick chill seeps through flesh and bones.
无论如何……我简直要疯了
Thinking of this Far-away Man,
许多天没来信，天天等
Suddenly waves churn out of calm.
眼泪……
Is the foot trouble healed?
我不要这样悲痛，孩子也跟着我难过，母亲也跟着难过
Is the winter clothing ready?
我想好像肚子里有了小宝
Who cares for you while you sleep alone?
简直太伤心了，太寂寞了，太难过了
Are you as lonely and sad as I am?
我想逃避，但我有几个孩子，怎能……
No letters are coming through,
五十天上午收到贵重的信
I ask, but no one answers.
即使他死了，我的眼泪也要缠住他的尸体
How I wish I had wings,
一个月一个月半年一年以至三年
Fly to see this man.
他丢弃我了，以前的事一幕一幕在脑海中翻腾，以后的事我也假定
Unable to see him,
Sorrow, it has no end …
……一幕一幕地，他一定是丢弃我了 他是很幸运的，能得到我的爱，我真是非常爱他的哟 不至于丢弃我，他不来信一定有他的道理 普通人也会有这种情感 父爱是一个谜，他难道不思想他的孩子吗？我搞不懂他 是悲事，也是好事，因为我可以做一个独立的人了 我要吻他一百遍，他的眼睛，他的嘴，他的脸颊，他的额，他的头，他是我的人，他是属于我的 只有母爱是靠得住的，我想我的母亲 昨天我跟哥哥谈起他，显出很平常的样子，可是眼泪不知怎样就落下来了 我要能忘记他就好了，可是他的美丽的影子 他的美丽的影子
隐隐约约看见他站在那里，凄清地看着我
我有一信把一弟，有这么一句话“谁把我的信带给他，把他的信带给我，谁就是我的恩人。”
天哪，我总不放心他
只要他是好好地，属我不属我都在其次，天保佑他罢
今天是他的生日，我格外的不能忘记他，我暗中行事，使家人买了一点菜，晚上又下了几碗面，妈妈也记着这个日子。晚上睡在被子里，又伤感了一回。听说他病了，并且是积劳的缘故……没有我在旁边，他不会注意的，一定累死才休
他的身体实在不能做事，太肯操心，天保佑我罢。我要努一把力，只要每月能够赚到六十元，我就可以叫回他，不要他做事了，那样随他的能力，他的聪明，或许还会给他一个不朽的成功呢
又是一晚没有入睡
我不能忍了，我要跑到他那里去
小孩可怜的小孩，又把我拖住了
我的心挑了一个重担，一头是他，一头是小孩，谁都拿不开
我要哭了，我真要哭了
我怎怎都不能不爱他，我怎怎都不能……
人的感情真是奇怪，三[王？]春和那样爱我，我连理也不想理他
我真爱他呀，天哪，给我一个完美的答案吧
The next piece, written to First Cousin in March 1929, and marked “not sent,” talks about her loneliness and her yearning for support:
开慧文稿中有几篇是写给表弟“一弟”杨开明的。杨开明一九二八年六月作为中共巡视员去井冈山，开慧请他带给毛一罐毛爱吃的辣豆豉。毛没有回信。一九二九年三月，湖南《民国日报》报导朱德的妻子被杀，头挂在长沙市街上。开慧产生不祥的预感，给“一弟”写了封信(注明“没有发去”)，通篇是她的孤寂无助：
I cower in a corner of the world. I am frightened and lonely. In this situation, I search every minute for something to lean on. So you take a place in my heart, and so does Ren-xiu who is staying here—you both stand side by side in my heart! I often pray: “Please don't let these few people be scattered!” I seem to have seen the God of Death—ah, its cruel and severe face! Talking of death, I do not really fear it, and I can say that I welcome it. But my mother, and my children! I feel pity for them! This feeling haunts me so badly—the night before last it kept me half awake all night long.
“一弟：亲爱的一弟！我是一个弱者，仍然是一个弱者！好像永远不能强悍起来！我蜷伏着在世界的一个角落里，我颤栗而且寂寞，在这个情景中，我无时无刻不在寻找我的依傍，你如是乎在我的心田里就占了一个地位。此外同居在一起的仁秀，也和你一样--你们一排站在我的心田里，我常常默祷着：“但愿这几个人，莫再失散了呵！”我好像已经看见了死神--唉！它那冷酷严肃的面孔！说到死，本来，我并不惧怕，而且可以说是我欢喜的事。只有我的母亲和我的小孩呵，我有点可怜他们！而且这个情绪缠扰得我非常厉害，前晚竟使我半睡半醒的闹了一晚！”
Worrying about her children, and clearly feeling she could not count on Mao, Kai-hui wrote to her First Cousin:
开慧丢不开她的孩子们。显然对毛不寄任何希望，她把他们托付给“一弟”，托付给靠得住的毛的大弟泽民：
I decided to entrust them—my children—to you. Financially, as long as their uncle [probably Mao's brother Tse-min] lives, he will not abandon them; and their uncle really loves them deeply. But if they lose their mother, and a father, then just the love of an uncle is not enough. They need you and many others' love for them to grow naturally as if in a warm spring, and not be destroyed by violent storms. This letter is like a will now, and you must think I am mad. But I don't know why, I just can't shake off the feeling over my head of a rope like a poisonous snake, that seems to have flown in from Death, and that binds me tightly. So I cannot but prepare!…
“我决定把他们--小孩们一一托付你们，经济上只要他们的叔父长存，是不至于不管他们的；而且他们的叔父，是有很深的爱对于他们的。但是倘若真个失掉一个母亲，或者更加一个父亲，那不是一个叔父的爱可以抵得住的，必须得你们各方面的爱护，方能在温暖的春天里自然地生长，而不至受那狂风骤雨的侵袭！这一个遗嘱样的信，你见了一定会怪我是发了神经病？不知何解，我总觉得我的颈项上，好像自死神那里飞来一根毒蛇样的绳索，把我缠着，所以不能不早作预备！”
Kai-hui had this premonition because on the 7th of that month the Hunan Republican Daily reported that Zhu De's wife had been killed and her head exposed in a street in Changsha. The paper carried two articles in which the writers said how much they enjoyed seeing the severed head. In April, Kai-hui wrote down some thoughts which she wanted to send to a newspaper but did not, entitled: “Feeling of Sadness on Reading about the Enjoyment of a Human Head”:
从报纸上，开慧不时看到毛的消息。毛被称为“共匪”，“焚杀劫掠于湘东赣西之间，惨毒不堪言状”“屠杀之人民，焚毁之房屋……猖撅异常”等等。也有报导说毛被赶出了井冈山，“处此三面包围之中，万无生理”。
Zhu De's wife I think most likely was a Communist. [words missing from original] Or even an important figure. If so, her execution is perhaps not to be criticised. [words crossed out] And yet her killing was not due to her own crime. Those who enjoyed her head and thought it was a pleasurable sight also did so not because of her own crime. So I remember the stories of killing relatives to the ninth clan for one man's crime in the early Manchu period. My idea that killers are forced into killing turns out not to make sense here. There are so many people so exultantly enjoying it that we can see glad articles representing them in newspapers and journals. So my idea that only a small number of cruel people kills turns out not to be true here. So I have found the spirit of our times …
Yet I am weak, I am afraid of being killed, and so afraid of killing. I am not in tune with the times. I can't look at that head, and my breast is filled with misery … I had thought that today's mankind, and part of mankind, the Chinese, were civilized enough to have almost abolished the death penalty! I did not expect to see with my own eyes the killing of relatives to the ninth clan for one man's crime … (To kill the wife of Zhu De, although not quite the ninth clan, basically comes to this.) … and the human head is becoming a work of art needed by many!
The abolition of the death penalty, and of torture, had been a very popular aim earlier in the century, and the Chinese Communist Party's charter of 1923 had included these among its goals.
Kai-hui had naturally been reading about Mao's own killings in the newspapers. He and his troops were always called “bandits,” who “burned and killed and kidnapped* and looted.” Newspapers had also reported that Mao had been driven out of the outlaw land and “surrounded on three sides, Zhu–Mao will have no chance whatever to survive.”
Kai-hui still loved Mao, and above all wanted him to give up what he was doing and come back. On 16 May 1929, in a poem marked “To First Cousin—not sent,” she wrote eight agonized lines imploring Mao's return:
开慧揪心揪肠地盼着毛回家来，写出下面八行字，婉转哀告：
一九二九年古历四月初八 寄一弟，没有发去
You are now the beloved sweetheart!
你现在是[原文不清]热爱的情人，
Please tell him: Return, return.
你许给他归来，归来。
I can see the heart of the old [probably referring to her mother] is being burnt by fire,
我看见老人的心已如火焚了！
Please return! Return!
归来哟，归来哟！
Sad separation, its crystallisation, chilling misery and loneliness are looming ever larger,
伤心的别离，它的结晶品，凄凉，寂寞，已渐长渐大了！
How I wish you would bring home some news!
希望你呵，带一点消息回来！
This heart, [unclear in original], how does it compare with burning by fire?
这一颗心，你去[原文不清] ，比火焚多少？
Please return! Return!
归来哟！归来哟！
Soon after this, a letter came from her First Cousin, saying that Mao was going to Shanghai (the Party had ordered him there on 7 February 1929). This meant she might be able to see him, and Kai-hui was rapturous. She opened her next letter,
不久，“一弟”来信了，说毛将去上海(中央命令他去)。这意味着她可能看到毛了，开慧欣喜若狂。她立即给一弟回信：
“to First Cousin,” with: “Received your letter. How happy and relieved I am!” She dreamed:
“一弟：接到来信，万分喜慰。其实我是一个最能达观的人，并不忧苦得怎样利害，不过总有点难忘的感情，一时一时像暴风一样的来了，一些时又去了，大体是平静的……”
If the financial situation allows, I must get out of here to do a few years' study … I want to get out, and find a job … I'm really in a great hurry to do some studies … Otherwise I can only feel the pains of emptiness, and feel I have nothing to lean on.
That letter like a will, I didn't send. If you can come home once, that would be all I dare to hope.
Her thoughts then reverted to Mao, the possibility that he might not go to Shanghai, and his safety if he did:
Probably he wouldn't be able to go to Shanghai? I'd rather he didn't go. I'm worried for him again now. Oh, heaven! I'll stop here …
思绪一下子飞到毛身上，毛也许不会去上海？去了上海会不会不安全？，他未必能来上海罢，我倒愿意他莫来上海哩，我又要不放心了呵，天哪，不谈了……”
She started to write to Mao, but changed her mind. There was a heading “To my beloved—not sent,” and the rest was torn out. Instead, she wrote down the story of her life, which she finished on 20 June 1929. Clearly, this was her way of telling Mao about herself, her thoughts and feelings. The memoir told two things: how passionately she loved him, and how utterly unable she was to tolerate violence and cruelty. The latter theme seems to have assumed an even larger place in her mind, as she began and ended her narrative with it.
时间一天天过去，她逐渐明白毛不会去上海，见毛只是梦想。开慧提笔给毛写信，但改变了主意。标题“寄爱 没有发去”一行字下面的话被她撕去。她另外写了一篇回顾：《六岁到二十八岁》，于六月二十日写成。显然，她想用间接方式把自己的心展在纸上给毛看。主题除了她对毛的爱，就是她对暴力与残酷的厌恶。
She recalled that at the age of six, she began to see the world as a sad place:
一开头，开慧写自己的童年：
I was born extremely weak, and would faint when I started crying … At the time, I sympathised with animals … Every night going to bed, horrible shadows such as the killing of chickens, of pigs, people dying, churned up and down in my head. That was so painful! I can still remember that taste vividly. My brother, not only my brother but many other children, I just couldn't understand them at all. How was it they could bring themselves to catch little mice, or dragonflies, and play with them, treating them entirely as creatures foreign to pain?
那时候我是同情牲畜类……每当晚上上床睡觉，这些惨影，如杀鸡、杀猪、人死，在我的脑际翻腾起来，那真痛苦！我现在还完全记得那个滋味。我的哥哥，不但哥哥，许多小孩都是一样，我完全不能了解他们。为什么？他们能够下手去捉小老鼠玩，蜻蜓玩，完全把它做一个不知痛痒的东西待遇。
If it were not to spare my mother the pain—the pain of seeing me die—if it were not for this powerful hold, then I simply would not have lived on.
不是舍不得我的母亲去受那样的痛苦--看见我死的痛苦--不是有这一个有力的牵绊，那我简直没有生活下来的可能了！
I really wanted to have a faith!…
随即开慧告诉毛她为什么参加共产党：“我很想寻出一个信仰来……
I sympathized with people in the lower ranks of life. I hated those who wore luxurious clothes, who only thought of their own pleasure. In summer I looked just like people from lower ranks, wearing a baggy rough cotton top. This was me at about seventeen or eighteen …
那时我同情下层生活的同胞，我忌恨那些穿华服，只顾自己快活的人！我热天和下层生活的人一样，穿大布衣。这个时候，大约是十七、八岁的时候。”
She wrote about how she fell in love with Mao, how totally she loved him, how she learned about his infidelities, and how she forgave him (these pages are in chapter 3). But at the end she showed that she was thinking of breaking away from him and the ideology to which he had introduced her:
这时的她爱上了毛，毛把她带入了共产党。如今，她怀疑她的信仰了。这篇回顾是这样结尾的：
Now my inclination has shifted into a new phase. I want to get some nourishment by seeking knowledge, to water and give sustenance to my dried-up life … Perhaps one day I will cry out: my ideas in the past were wrong!
现在我的倾向又入了一个新时期，我想在学问里头，得到一些滋润物，把我已枯的生命，灌溉扶持起来！或许能有一个新的发现，或许有一天我要叫着，我从前的观念是错了！
She ended her memoir with:
Ah! Kill, kill, kill! All I hear is this sound in my ears! Why are human beings so evil? Why so cruel? Why?! I cannot think on! [words brushed out by her] I must have a faith! I must have a faith! Let me have a faith!!
唉！杀，杀，杀！耳边只听见这种声音。人为什么这样狞恶！为什么这样残忍！为什么呵！？我不能去设想了！我要一个信仰！我要一个信仰！来一个信仰罢！！
Kai-hui had been drawn to communism out of sympathy for the deprived. Her crying out for “a faith” says unmistakably that she was losing her existing faith, communism. She did not condemn Mao, whom she still deeply loved. But she was letting him know how strongly she felt about the killing, something she had hated since childhood.
She wrote this piece primarily for Mao, thinking she might be able to see him in Shanghai. But as time wore on, it became clear that she would not, and in fact he was studiously avoiding the city. Kai-hui hid what she had written so far, twelve pages, between bricks in a wall.
It was in a mood of despair that she wrote her last piece on 28 January 1930, two days before the Chinese New Year, traditionally the time for family reunion. Four pages long, it described what she had been through in the past two and a half years since Mao left. She began by recalling her feelings in the days just after he went:*
For days I've been unable to sleep.
I just can't sleep. I'm going mad.
So many days now, he hasn't written. I'm waiting day after day.
Tears …
I mustn't be so miserable. The children are miserable with me, and Mother is miserable with me.
I think I may be pregnant again.
Really so wretched, so lonely, so much anguish.
I want to flee. But I have these children, how can I?
On the morning of the fiftieth day, I received the priceless letter.
Even if he dies, my tears are going to shroud his corpse.
A month, another month, half a year, a year, and three years. He has abandoned me. The past churns up in my mind scene after scene. The future I envisage also churns in my mind scene after scene. He must have abandoned me.
He is very lucky, to have my love. I truly love him so very much!
He can't have abandoned me. He must have his reasons not to write …
Father love is really a riddle. Does he not miss his children? I can't understand him.
This is a sad thing, but also a good thing, because I can now be an independent person.
I want to kiss him a hundred times, his eyes, his mouth, his cheeks, his neck, his head. He is my man. He belongs to me.
Only Mother Love can be relied on. I'm thinking about my mother …
Yesterday, I mentioned him to my brother. I tried to look normal, but tears fell, I don't know how.
If only I can forget him. But his beautiful image, his beautiful image.
Dimly I seem to see him standing there, gazing at me with melancholy.
I have written to First Cousin, saying this: “Whoever takes my letter to him, and brings his letter to me, is my Saviour.”
Heaven, I can't help worrying about him.
As long as he is well, whether or not he belongs to me is secondary. May heaven protect him.
Today is his birthday. I can't forget him. So I quietly had some food bought, and made bowls of noodles [a special birthday meal, since long noodles symbolise long life]. Mother remembers this date, too. At night in bed, I think sad thoughts to myself.
I hear he has been ill, and it comes from overwork … Without me beside him, he will not be careful. He will simply tire himself to death.
His health is really such that he can't work. He racks his brains too much. Heaven protect me. I must work hard, hard. If I can make 60 yuan a month, I can call him back, and ask him not to work any more. In that case, with his ability, his intelligence, he may even achieve immortal success.
Another sleepless night.
I can't endure this now. I am going to him.
My children, my poor children hold me back.
A heavy load hangs on my heart, one side is him, the other is my children. I can't leave either.
I want to cry. I really want to cry.
No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop loving him. I just can't …
A person's feeling is really strange. San Chun-he loves me so much, and yet I don't even look at him.
How I love him [Mao]! Heaven, give me a perfect answer!
Shortly after these heart-rending words were written, her First Cousin was arrested and executed. He was buried behind her house.
一九三0年二月，“一弟”杨开明被捕枪决，埋在老屋后面。
Months later, she herself was dead. During his assault on Changsha, Mao made no effort to extricate her and their sons, or even to warn her. And he could easily have saved her: her house was on his route to the city, and Mao was there for three weeks. Yet he did not lift a finger.
几个月后，开慧也走上刑场。毛泽东围攻长沙时，没有做任何努力把她跟孩子送走，或者提醒提醒她。这其实很容易办到：开慧的家就在毛去长沙的路上，而且毛在长沙城外待了整整三个星期。但即使是这样的举手之劳他也没有去做。
* What we call “Red Jiangxi” does not include the base in northeast Jiangxi under Fang Zhi-min.
† One day, a Chinese was present at a talk in Moscow by a man who denounced Li Li-san ferociously. Afterwards he asked the speaker who he was, and was astonished to get the answer, “I am Li Li-san.” In February 1938 Li-san was arrested, and he spent nearly two years in prison.
*One of the people kidnapped by Mao's force was an American Catholic priest, Father Edward Young, whom the Reds tried to ransom for $20,000. Young escaped. His Chinese fellow hostages and prisoners were killed.
*The following words were mostly recalled from memory after reading this document in an archive, and some may therefore not be exact. Ellipses represent parts that cannot be recalled; most other punctuation has been added for clarity.